How to Mend a Broken Heart
by Wayfarer23
Summary: (Sparia AU) Dr. Spencer Hastings is a renowned surgeon and a guarded woman, with a difficult past and trust issues. Aria Montgomery is just a girl who has lost almost everything, including her life. Their paths cross in a tragic way, yet an instant connection brings them closer together. Will those two kindred souls be able to fight their demons and find something worth living for?
1. New dawn, new day, new life

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character present in this story, sadly. Only borrowing them.**

 _The truck came out of nowhere._

 _One moment I was there, sitting in the car next to my boyfriend, talking and laughing and reminiscing the incredible weekend we just spent together._

 _He had taken me on this delightful, romantic getaway in Martha's Vineyard. For three days we didn't do anything else but make love, walk hand in hand down the beach, whisper little nothings into each other's ears, wrapped as we were in the intimacy and comfort of our hotel's room. Two lovers, lost alone in a bubble far away from everything else. No nuisances, no external interferences. Just the two of us and the promise of a bright future together._

 _It has been a very sweet parenthesis in our otherwise mundane, hectic lives. The ones we have here, in Boston._

 _A long sigh escaped from my slightly parted lips as I propped my chin on the palm of my hand and turned my head to the right, gazing absentmindedly outside the window as we sped off on the slippery streets and into the night. He glanced at me and took my free hand, bringing it to his mouth and leaving a lingering kiss on each one of my knuckles; I closed my eyes and smiled contently, relishing these small gestures of affection._

 _I never imagined that I could ever have come so close to reach such a happiness in my life. It was a bless, feeling this loved. Loving so much in return._

 _But then, all it took for my world to literally turn upside down were a matter of seconds and a series of unfortunate coincidences._

 _The truck came out of nowhere and collided with the driver side of the sedan. The impact sent the Mercedes C300 spiraling out of control. It was too late to do anything: the last thing I saw before we jumped the guardrail and plummeted down the steep cliff was the huge tree in which proximity our car finally came to a halt._

 _The last thing I heard were the feeble whimpers and labored breaths of my boyfriend, as death quickly approached and staked its claim on him._

 _The last thing I remembered to feel were the cold drops of rain that gently hit my face, as if the sky was trying to wash away all the blood. All my tears._

 _Strangely enough, there was no pain. Then again, I am not a doctor so I really didn't know better. Yet I heard somewhere, in the past, that when you're dying, the body begins the final process of shutting down, so that you can't really feel anything anymore. It is natural. It is undramatic. It is the ultimate form of self-preservation and the supreme act of mercifulness._

 _Eventually, the last remnant of consciousness abandoned me and I fell into a deep, bottomless sleep. I didn't fight it._

 **[Massachusetts General Hospital – A week later]**

It was the weirdest thing she ever experienced. Ever.

' _Didn't I die in a car accident? Was it all in my head? Was it just a nightmare?'_

For a split second hope dared to burst into her soul, but then something pushed her to ask herself why she felt like a train ran over her.

' _Why I cannot wake up?'_

Her eyelids felt so heavy as she unsuccessfully tried to blink them open; her head hurt like hell and she was so incredibly tired. Her body refused to move, and even something as trivial as moving a finger or just simply think resulted to be a too strenuous action at the moment.

She felt constricted. Her throat burned, her chest ached in dull pain and her senses were numbed.

' _But I am slowly regaining perception, am I not? I am still alive, right?'_

Otherwise, how else could she know, _feel_ , all these things?

It could very well have been that her brain was playing tricks on her, but if that was the case how was it possible that she could feel the plastic material of the tubes and wires attached to her arm and all over her torso? How was it possible that she could hear the sound of a heart monitor, the vending of a breathing machine, and voices that she was sure she never heard before?

And, more importantly, why all of this was happening?

' _Just what the hell is going on? Where am I? What happened? Where is he? Someone, please, tell me'_

It was all too much to bear. Somewhere deep down, in her subconscious, she knew it would be a lot much easier if she would never wake up again. If she had just died in that damn car wreck. Before succumbing once again into sleep, she ruefully thought she missed her chance.

…

…

She didn't know how much time passed before she heard those annoying voices again.

"Hey, the nurse told me I'd found you here" a not so tall, relatively young doctor said as he walked inside the small room and approached his colleague. She stood by the window, her back leaning against the wall and her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive stance. She looked pensive, so much so that she didn't even acknowledge him. Not that it was that strange of a behavior on her part.

"Anything yet?" he asked, nodding towards the patient.

Spencer tore her eyes off of the bed where the young brunette was laying and turned her head slightly to look at the man. Her focus lingered for a moment on the ID's badge clipped to the chest pocket of his scrub's V-neck shirt.

" _Dr. Wren Kingston_ , _Head of Neurosurgery",_ the plastic tag recited _._

It's been years, and yet there were times when she still felt the urge to laugh all her resentment and disbelief right in front of his boyish, arrogant face. How could he be so self-centered and presumptuous to go around in the hospital all proud, high and mighty, exhibiting a title that he never deserved, was beyond her comprehension.

"No, she hasn't woken up yet" she replied distantly. "Got any update?"

"We ran all the routine tests. Her EEG showed brain activity and minimal nerve damage. There's no reason to think she won't wake up soon" he informed.

"Good"

"I didn't know you were one of her attending doctors…" Dr. Kingston frowned slightly, as if the thought just occurred to him.

"I'm not" the tall woman replied unfazed, her voice laced with a sort of detached opacity.

"Then you shouldn't be here, Spencer" he said warningly.

"It's Dr. Hastings to you" she retorted, and her eyes narrowed menacingly. "And last time I checked, I didn't need a permit to see a patient. Least of all yours"

If he was taken aback by her attitude and hostility, he didn't show it. Nevertheless he stood there, regarding his colleague for a much longer time than necessary.

"Do you think will we ever be able to… overlook past our old quarrels? Or are you going to hold a grudge against me forever?"

Spencer didn't have time to reply – not that she was prone to go through that old dispute of theirs again. The loud alarm of the heart monitor screamed for help, effectively startling both doctors. They immediately rushed over to the young woman to check her vitals, already prepared to do everything and anything in their capability to reanimate her and keep her alive; only, the small brunette was not giving up on them. Her life was not in any immediate danger: she was instead waking up from her coma.

"Come on, Aria, wake up" a feminine husky voice prompted. "It's going to be alright, I promise. You just have to wake up. Come on"

And just like that, her eyes suddenly snapped open, as if all this time she had just been waiting for such a simple instruction. She frantically looked around as she soon realized that for some reason she couldn't speak, nor move. Then she noticed the tube stuck down in her throat and her eyes widened in panic.

"Hey, hey no, calm down. You're in a hospital but you're safe, I promise" the voice from earlier tried to sooth her. "You've been out for a while, Aria. And you couldn't breathe on your own. Hence all those scary things, here" A tall, slender woman in blue scrubs explained as she gestured to the set of machines that for some time now had practically been her life support system.

While talking, Spencer glanced down at her and their eyes met for the first time. The sight was enthralling, for both patient and doctor.

"But hey, the good thing is that, now that you're back, we can finally get rid of these tubes" Dr. Hastings smiled warmly, and there was an aura of gentleness around her that instantly put Aria at ease.

"Okay, so… shall we?" the other doctor in the room, a man, asked in a thick British accent.

Aria peeked briefly at him before turning her gaze once again on the woman, nodding slightly in consent.

"Very well" Spencer smiled once again. "I'm not going to lie, this will hurt a little" she said with a grimace; "But it'll pass soon. On the count of three I want you to cough as hard as you can, okay?"

Aria blinked her eyes in response and before she knew it, the good doctor freed her of the offensive item that was in her throat. Numerous violent coughs racked her small frame and pain coursed throughout her body.

"Easy there" the doctor cooed, as she slipped an oxygen mask on her face. "Just take deep breaths"

The intense agony she felt subsided after a few minutes, but the burning and itching remained. While she was occupied trying and getting used to the feeling of breathing independently, she observed the two surgeons discuss among themselves.

"Ms. Montgomery" the older of the two called her abruptly. "I know it's going to be difficult for you to talk, but I need to ask you a few question and I'd like to run ulterior tests and I'm afraid it's something that can't wait" he explained.

Somehow her face must have given away her anxiety and distress, because the other doctor glanced at her with the utmost sympathy.

"It's just routine" she interjected. "And Dr. Kingston here won't bother you for too long" she turned to glare at her fellow. "Alright then, I'll go now"

"Wait" Aria croaked. "Stay. Please"

"Um" the three of them exchanged uncomfortable glances, because there was really no reason for Spencer to stay in the room. She wasn't even her doctor – even if the young woman didn't know that. But the tiny brunette seemed so upset at the thought of her leaving that she abided.

"Okay" Dr. Hastings nodded, still a little dumbfounded by the unexpected request. "I'll stay"

The two women smiled hesitantly at each other, while Wren stood there observing their interactions with sharp eyes.

"Ahem" he cleared his throat after a stretching silence. "We should get started. Ms. Montgomery, can you tell me what is the last thing you remember?"

"I… I-I was in the car. A t-t-truck. Accident"

The neurosurgeon frowned. Her memory seemed intact, her speech on the contrary appeared to be afflicted. To what degree, he didn't know. Then again, it could have been simply the shock to momentarily restrict her faculties.

"We were c-coming back-" she stopped to take a few deep breaths, while a frightening feeling settled right in the pit of her stomach. "We were coming back from a trip. Where's he?"

Wren turned around to look at Spencer, only to find the brunette completely stunned. Her fists clenched tightly, as it was her jaw.

"WHERE IS EZRA?" Aria yelled, as much as her wounded throat allowed her. "Where is he?" She cried out loud.

"Aria…" Dr. Hastings began, but couldn't find it in herself to go on.

"No" the young woman shook her head. "No no no no"

"We did everything we could" Her eyes were downcast, boring holes into the ground. "I'm so sorry" Her voice was low and thick.

"Ezra" Aria whispered in tears.

"He didn't make it"

The words resonated loudly in the small hospital room, hitting the young brunette with the force of a wrecking-ball. Everything went still.

The heart monitor kept beeping in the background, creating a disturbing cacophony. For a moment Aria wondered if that was the sound of a broken heart.

 **A/N: So, this story kept popping in my head randomly and I finally decided to start writing it down and see where it leads. I have a general plot in mind, but I'm also open to suggestions – if you feel like leaving me any. I don't know when I'll be able to post the next chapter, so in the meantime thank you for reading.**

 **P.S.: I don't know a thing about medicine. I try to make up my incompetence by reading and documenting, but I can't guarantee any accuracy. So every mistake is totally on me – obviously.**


	2. Tied

Dr. Spencer Hastings was well-known in her field. Despite her young age – she was able to graduate from Harvard Medical School with flying colors and two years faster than anyone else and, by the time she was 29, she had completed her residency at Mass General – she was one of the best cardiothoracic surgeons on the whole East Coast. With such an exemplary record, it was only natural for her to have earned the respect and esteem of her peers, and to have built a sterling reputation for herself. She was considered a prodigy.

But to make her famous were not only her academic accomplishments and her success: among the hospital, everybody knew her as this standoffish, detached, unavailable woman.

It was not like she was a cold hearted bitch, not at all. On the contrary, she was always polite to just about anyone – that and her objectively physical attractiveness, along with her cool and easygoing persona, explained why other doctors and nurses admired and were particularly fond of her. Even if the sentiment was in most cases unrequited.

Spencer had her small clique of trusted people that cared about her and that she cared about in return, and she was content this way. The rest of the world left her rather indifferent. It didn't concern her anymore. She did not want a part in this role-playing that normal, stable people called 'social life'.

She was as far away from normalcy and stability as one can be, and they were all hypocrites anyway.

' _Life is a charade. Love is_ _all but a mere fabrication, artfully packed by delusional poets. Or Valentine's Day's lobbies'._ That were her daily musings.

The person she was before - a long time ago - would probably look at her now in sympathy, pity the woman she had become. An empty shell of her old self, surrounded by insurmountable walls she _had_ to build in order to survive. But the compassionate, sensitive child she was before had yet to know all the pain she was going to go through, so she really has no rights to judge her. The girl she was before didn't exist anymore. Or perhaps she was still there somewhere, but decided to hide under a dozen of masks.

There were times when Spencer could almost feel their plastic material crack slightly – metaphorically speaking, of course.

It just so happened, for example, whenever she thought about that young woman who had recently woken up from a coma. This fact bothered her. A lot.

And yet, for some inconceivable reason, there she was again, standing in front of the door of Aria's hospital room.

"Hey" Dr. Hastings greeted as she closed the door behind her back, chancing a small smile at the young patient. "How are you feeling today?"

"…"

Aria kept staring straight ahead, not bothering to reply to such a stupid question.

Three days ago she woke up to an existence that did not feel like hers anymore. She lost her love, she was badly injured and had to stay in this goddamn hospital for only God knows how much time. She still had to come to terms with all the news these fine doctors here dropped on her.

"Just peachy" she answered after an exhaustingly minute of silence.

Spencer regarded her for a moment, and felt something heavy tug at her heart.

"Do you mind?" she asked, gesturing to the chair beside the bed.

Aria seemed to consider it, but then she shook her head faintly and Spencer sat down.

"Are you sure there's no one you want to contact?" the doctor asked gently. The patient's next of kin was her boyfriend, Ezra, and since he was, well, dead, the girl really had no one near her during this difficult time.

"You're going to be our guest for a while, you could use some company" she prodded.

"I have company right now" Aria arched an eyebrow, and there was the faintest hint of mirth in her voice. Even if she wasn't entirely certain as why the doctor was there, in fact.

Not that she wasn't pleased. She actually enjoyed her visits.

"I meant someone familiar" Spencer countered back. "A friend, or a sibling. Your parents maybe"

Aria's features darkened at this and that didn't go unnoticed by the tall brunette.

"I told you, there's no one" the younger woman replied coldly.

"You shouldn't go through all of this alone"

"Aaw, doctor" Aria cooed mockingly; "Are you worried about me?"

The question took Spencer aback, even if she did her best to hide it.

"Is it like, hospital policy or am I special?" Now, there was definitely mirth in her voice. "I'm fine, honest. And I really don't want to see anybody right now, so…" Aria continued, her mood suddenly somber.

"Right…" Spencer slowly exhaled as she got up. "I take this as my cue to leave"

"You can stay if you want" Aria hurriedly assured. She didn't want to come off as impolite or worse, plain rude.

She realized with a jolt that she didn't want Dr. Hastings to leave, either.

"I was going to go anyway" the woman replied. "Gotta prep a surgery. I only stopped by to say hi"

"Oh" the girl nodded in understanding.

She scrunched up her nose in mildly disappointment and for a second Spencer thought she appeared even smaller than she actually was. And younger. Just like a child.

"See you later" Dr. Hastings said, as she turned around and walked to the door. She didn't see Aria's beaming at her back.

"Knock 'em dead" she heard the young patient shout cheerfully from her bed. "Or not. Yeah, nope. Definitely _don't_ do that" She then amended, as she reconsidered her poor choice of words. "Argh, I mean… good luck… yeah… that's what I meant" she finished meekly.

The only response she received was Spencer's boisterous laugh.

She decided that she liked the sound.

… …

It was already late in the afternoon when Spencer came back to her room. It was even later when Aria realized it.

When the painkillers they gave her kicked in she fell asleep almost immediately, and when she finally blinked her eyes open it was almost evening. The sun was setting, and the sunlight that filtered through the window tinged the room in an opaque shade of orange.

Everything was quiet around her - except for the drops of saline solution in her I.V. that rhythmically, one after another, hit the glass surface, producing a feeble clicking sound.

She turned her head a little and spotted a familiar figure sitting at her side. The good doctor had her face stuffed into the book in her hands, her lower lip captured between her teeth and her eyebrows scrunched together in concentration.

For a minute – or five – all Aria could do was stare, completely fascinated by the dimple that formed on her forehead.

"What are you reading?" she finally managed to ask, snapping back in the present from wherever her mind had drifted off on its own volition.

Spencer whipped her head around, startled by her voice, and Aria had to stifle a giggle at the funny expression she was unknowingly sporting.

"Hey, sleepy head" the doctor quickly recovered with a warm smile, one that Aria fully reciprocated.

"Hey yourself" the younger brunette greeted back. "So, what has you so engrossed that I nearly gave you a heart attack?"

"Oh, this?" Spencer said as she closed the book and turned it around to show the cover; "The Brothers Karamazov, by Dostoevsky"

"Wow" Aria replied impressed. "Some little light reading, uh?"

"Yeah" the other woman chuckled. "Family drama, moral conflict… just my piece of cake"

The moment those words left her mouth, Spencer regretted them. Not because they weren't true, but because she feared this young brunette was going to question her further. And she really didn't have any intentions to open up to a complete stranger. A stranger that, somehow, already succeeded to make her talk way more than she was used to.

But Aria was oddly quiet and looked like she was pondering over her answer. She looked like someone who could understand her. Who had been in her shoes.

"You know" she started, abruptly bringing Spencer back from her reverie; "There's a reason why I don't want you to call anyone"

"You don't have to explain yourself" Dr. Hastings tried to reassure her.

"I feel like I can talk to you, though?" it came off more like a question, and they both hated it.

Aria because she really didn't want to look any more weak and desperate than she already felt; Spencer because, for some reason, wanted the young girl to know that she was there for her.

"Of course you can talk to me"

They locked gazes and smiled at each other.

"My parents divorced when I was sixteen. My father – he is a professor - cheated on my mom with one of his students, and when she found out she left us. Not only my dad, but my brother and I also. She walked out on her family and moved on. Now she lives somewhere in Europe with her new boy toy or something like that"

Tears were streaming down her face and Spencer felt helpless, sitting there on her chair and watching the poor thing drown in her sorrow. She did the only thing that came in her mind and grabbed her hand. Gently.

Aria let her.

"I was so angry. At the both of them. The day I turned eighteen I ran away with Ezra. I stopped talking to my dad ever since then" she went on with her story. "He couldn't stand him. My father, I mean. Ezra was older than me, he was my English teacher in High School actually" she admitted.

Spencer frowned at the revelation. In her book, that was something plain wrong – for so many reasons. Then again, she didn't really know their story, and she didn't feel like making a judgmental remark to a patient who apparently has had her fair share of shit going on in her young life. And she was certainly in no position to judge anyone, all things considered.

Aria however sensed what was going on in the doctor mind; she could read it in her eyes. And she really couldn't blame her, either.

"I know what you're thinking" Aria said, but at the same moment the older woman threw her completely off guard with her question.

"What about your brother?" Spencer asked.

Not that it was a weird question, by all means. It was just that Aria didn't see it coming. Of all the things Spencer could have said or asked about her illegal, scandalous relationship, she questioned her about her brother. She deliberately changed the subject, not wanting to embarrass Aria or make her relive painful memories, and for that the small girl was extremely grateful.

"We're not really on good terms. He's mad at me, rightly so. I did to him the exact same thing our mother did to us. I abandoned him" she whispered brokenly, her voice laced with remorse.

"Maybe he's mad at you, but I'm sure he'd want to know if his sister was going through… a rough patch" Spencer said after a while, squeezing the small, cold hand that was tightly gripping her own larger, warm one.

"I don't know" Aria said, biting her lip sheepishly.

"I do" the woman said. "If my sister was in need, I would not hesitate to rush at her aid. Despite everything" The last part of her sentence came off as an afterthought, one that Aria caught on to immediately.

"Your family is also… complicated?" she ventured.

And Spencer snorted. Loudly. "That would be the understatement of the century"

Then her phone started ringing and she excused herself and walked toward the window to reply.

"Hey. Yes, I'm still at work. No, I didn't see her. Yes"

Aria watched her curiously as she spoke with whomever was on the other line of the phone, a distant smile on her lips.

"Okay. Alright. I'm on my way" Spencer turned to glance at her and huffed dramatically, becoming more and more annoyed as the conversation went on. "Look Ali, I understood. I'll be there in, like, thirty minutes but firstly you have to let me go" she said with an exaggerated roll of her eyes, and Aria this time chuckled openly at her little outburst. "Yeah, bye"

"Sorry for that" the doctor said gesturing to her phone as she approached Aria's bed.

"It's okay" the younger brunette assured with a grin. "Demanding _friend_?" she tried to guess, unconsciously putting emphasis on the last word.

"My cousin, actually" Spencer clarified. "Her girlfriend is on a nightshift and she feels alone. So tonight I'll be given the huge honor to be her personal guinea pig for her… creative cuisine, so to speak" she said with a grimace.

"Good luck then" Aria snickered, too amused for the doctor's taste.

"Yeah… this time she'll be the one knocking me dead, for sure" Spencer joked, referring to their earlier conversation.

Aria shut her mouth and blushed profusely.

 **[Later at Alison's]**

The night went relatively well. The fact that Alison's cooking did not poison Spencer in the end was a huge accomplishment in itself, and the both of them were allowed to feel satisfied.

However, the brunette had been awfully quiet throughout the dinner and Alison was starting to worry about her.

"You know, you excel in a lot of things but you suck at keeping me company" the blonde laughed lightly, while secretly scrutinizing her cousin gauging her reaction.

"Uh?" Spencer glanced up at her from her sitting position, a little dumbfounded. "You said something?"

"Spence…" Alison exhaled and crossed her arms over her chest. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong" Spencer frowned in confusion. "Why are you asking?"

"Because you've been silent the whole time, munching away your food almost robotically and brooding over something that is clearly affecting you"

"Are you trying to psychoanalyze me?" the taller woman asked in disbelief.

"No, you're not my patient" Alison responded. "You're my cousin, Spence. And I'm worried about you"

"There's no reason, Ali. I'm fine, just tired I guess"

"Don't lie to me"

"I'm not"

"Yes, you are" Alison stubbornly countered back.

Spencer narrowed her eyes. "Look Ali-"

"You look haunted" the blonde cut her off. "I know that look, so don't try to feed me with your bullshits"

Spencer froze. How this stupid argument escalated so quickly she didn't know, but Alison was creeping dangerously close to the truth and she felt in trap. Overwhelmed.

"The last time I saw that anguished look in your eyes-"

"Don't" This time it was the brunette to cut her off. "Don't say it, please" she implored, and her eyes were so full of sorrow, pain, grief and guilt that Alison nearly lost her breath at the sight.

She rushed to sit on the couch beside her, taking the upset woman in her arms.

"Oh, Spence" she soothed, caressing her hair. "Talk to me, sweetie. I'm here for you"

Alison was there, indeed. She had always been the only one by her side, even in her darkest hours. She and Emily were the people Spencer trusted with her life. They knew every detail of her life, every demon gnawing at her soul, and they were still there. She didn't even have to ask.

The old memories of her tough past that Alison had stirred with her words mere minutes ago mixed up with this brand new whirlwind of emotions that ran over her since that fateful day, when Aria and her boyfriend were brought in her E.R.

After a long silence, she began to tell Alison about this quirky, goofy patient that nearly lost her life. What her colleagues had to do to save her life; how long her recovery would be. How much she had suffered in her young life. She lost herself in her medical mumbo jumbo, in unnecessary, long scientific explanations that didn't really weren't providing any answer to the blonde's questions. She was deflecting. All the while looking down at the floor, refusing to meet Alison's eyes.

"Okay, stop" Alison eventually exploded, having had enough of Spencer's game of hide and seek. "You met this patient that is in a really bad shape and she's having it rough, I get it. But I don't care about her" she said rather brusquely.

"Aria" was all Spencer had to offer in response.

"Uh?"

"Her name is Aria"

"Fine. Aria" Alison repeated, if nothing else to not upset her cousin any further than that. "So what about her? Why's she so special?"

Spencer's jaw clenched and she gritted her teeth.

' _Okay, we're finally going somewhere'_ Alison thought to herself.

"It's not like you to get attached to a patient" the blonde pressed.

"She's not my patient" Spencer said as she got up and started to pace around in the living room.

"Even better!" the other woman scoffed. "Why are you obsessing over her like this? What's going on?"

Spencer spun around and lost it.

"Because I killed the father of her child" she shouted, wiping away angry tears from her face.

"What did you just say?" Alison murmured baffled.

The brunette turned her back on her, not wanting to see the shame and disappointment in the eyes of one of her dearest person.

"Her boyfriend died on my table. Under my scalpel. I couldn't save him"

"Spence…"

"And she doesn't know it. Every morning I wake up and make up my mind to tell her, and every fucking time I look into her eyes I cower away. How can I tell her that her boyfriend is dead because of me? How can-"

"Now you listen to me and you listen carefully: Spencer Hastings, it was not your fault. I have no doubt that you did everything you could to keep him alive" Alison stood too and rushed to her cousin's side, but Spencer shrugged away from her touch. The blonde watched helplessly as the brunette behind her broke down.

"Please don't go down that road again, Spence" Alison softly implored her, her own tears tracing their way down her cheeks. "You know how it works. The moment you start blaming yourself for people's death, there's no coming back"

"Yeah…" Spencer reached the door and turned the handle. She turned around to look one last time at the blonde, one of her feet already out of the house. "You're right".

 **A/N: Guys, thank you so much for your incredible kind words and for taking your time to read this new story of mine. I really appreciate it.**


	3. Uncharted waters

**A/N:** _ **italics =**_ **flashback.**

" _Alright, Ms. Montgomery. We're done here" Dr. Kingston said as he snapped off his latex gloves, a work smile plastered on his face. "I'm glad to inform that there's nothing wrong with you neurologically. You will be able to make a full recovery in the proper amount of time"_

 _Aria offered a small nod with her head, not really hearing what the doctor was saying. She was still trying to make sense of everything that had happened since she woke up, barely two hours ago, from her coma._

 _And as she thought things couldn't be any worse than that, the next ten minutes proved her just how much she had been wrong._

" _However" Dr. Kingston resumed his speech, "There's something else that we need to discuss"_

 _When he paused, insecure as to how continue from there, Aria felt her stomach drop. That couldn't be good now, could it?_

 _A tall brunette with olive skin and a lithe frame stepped in and appeared in front of her line of vision; she chanced a small smile her way. Aria thought she had a really sweet smile._

" _Hello Ms. Montgomery, I'm Dr. Fields" she introduced herself._

" _Hi" the patient returned the smile with one of her own, eying her inquisitively._

" _I'm the Head of Fetal Surgery, as well as an attending pediatric surgeon" She explained calmly, letting her words sink in._

" _Wh-wha…" Aria suddenly gasped. Her eyes went wide and she could feel the hammering of her heart beating in her hears at a maniacal tempo. "W-why are you telling me this? What does that has to do with me? I d-don't… I don't think I understand"_

 _She lied._

 _Of course she understood. It was all perfectly, painfully clear. And, if she was completely honest with herself, deep down she already knew it. She sensed it, even if she didn't see it coming._

 _Ridiculously enough, her hand went to caress her flat stomach on its own accord. On a reflex._

" _From the blood samples we had to take to run some tests, well… it resulted that you're positive for pregnancy" Dr. Fields stated. "You're about three weeks pregnant"_

" _How…?" Aria chocked out. "H-how is that even possible? The accident…"_

" _Fortunately, both you and the fetus were able to survive the impact. The uterus is an exceptionally strong muscle and a safe environment for the development of a form of life, and can protect a baby both from internal and external pressure. In this case, it acted as a shield even against the violent trauma of a car crash" the doctor clarified, but her words were lost on Aria._

 _The young woman couldn't wrap her mind about the shocking news – her life had already been reduced to a freaking mess as it was; she surely didn't need another 'complication'._

 _Then, reality settled in and washed over her tiny frame like a cold shower and she found out that she didn't know how to breathe anymore. She felt sick – and she would have laughed at the irony of the situation, seeing as she was in fact sick and already confined in a frigging hospital bed, if terror and anxiety and guilt over having thought about her baby as a mere 'complication' didn't pervade her whole soul._

 _She was pregnant._

 _Aria Marie Montgomery, 24 years old. Girl-next-door walking stereotype and aspirant writer. Pregnant with a fatherless child. What was it that Karma had against her, exactly?_

" _Miss Montgomery!" Someone, the doctor with the kind smile probably, cried out._

" _Miss Montgomery! Come on, wake up! Aria!" a chorus of agitated voices called her name._

 _But her world went black._

"Aria!"

The addressed woman blinked her eyes and tilted her head in confusion. She stared straight ahead of her, looking up into the concerned eyes of her two best friends.

The blonde one was snapping her fingers in front of her nose, trying to get a reaction.

"Finally" Hanna exhaled in relief, bringing her hand over her chest. "Welcome back. Jeez, you seriously freaked me out for a moment" she exclaimed.

"Sorry" Aria smiled innocently at her overdramatic friend's antics. Hanna Marin was known for being a bit of a drama queen at times.

"So" Mona cleared her throat, effectively reclaiming the attention of the other two girls. "What were you daydreaming about, anyway? You know, it was so rude of you, ignoring us like that"

"Mona!" Hanna chastised.

"What?" the petite brunette asked innocently.

"I'm sorry, it's just… I was thinking about…"

"The baby?" Mona helpfully supplied when she noticed that Aria couldn't voice her thoughts.

"Yeah…"

An uncomfortable silence descended upon them, as Hanna and Mona glanced at each other and then, hesitantly, at Aria.

Two days ago, they were called by a certain Dr. Hastings or something like that, and were told all about their friend's incident and consequent hospitalization, and they wasted no time to book the first flight from New York to come and see her.

Aria, at first reluctantly, explained them what happened to her and Ezra, and then broke down in their arms at the mention of her pregnancy. Since then, they didn't leave her side. They had been nothing but wonderful to her, even if a little overbearing, and Aria was extremely grateful to them. And to Spencer. She had to give credit to her new acquaintance: she'd been right when she said that Aria needed them, now more than ever.

"Have you decided yet? What you're going to do with…" Hanna asked softly, vaguely gesturing towards Aria's womb.

The brunette's eyes widened and stared at her, completely flabbergasted. Then her pupils darkened alarmingly.

"What do you mean, Han?"

"Uh" the blonde bit her lip sheepishly, suddenly regretting her large mouth and her poor timing. "Nothing. I was just wondering if, you know… you're going to keep it or…"

"Of course I'm going to keep it!" Aria snapped, her blood boiling in anger. Towards who – or what – she didn't know exactly. "It's not like I have a choice"

"Except you do" Mona suddenly chimed in.

"What?" Aria stared at the other brunette in disbelief.

"You do have a choice, Aria"

"You don't know what you're talking about, Mona" she countered. "I _have to_ keep it. It's Ezra's baby an-"

"You _don't have to_ do anything. Really. Nobody can force you to do anything you don't want to do. And having a baby should be a choice and not feel like a moral obligation" Mona pointed out.

The tiny room was filled with tension. Hanna shifted from one foot to another, watching the two brunettes stubbornly glare at each other, each one of them trying to make a point. Then, after what felt like a really long time, Aria burst into tears.

"It was something we talked about. Sometimes" she admitted between sobs. "Things weren't always easy between us, b-b-but… we were planning a future t-together. B-buying a h-house; st-start a family"

"Oh sweetie" Both Hanna and Mona rushed to her side, taking their broken friends in their arms.

"N-not now, but sometime in the future. And now he… he's g-gone and I-I… I don't know what to do"

"Ssshh, ssshhh" they tried to sooth her. "It will be fine. It will be okay" Hanna rubbed her hand up and down her back, while Mona pressed a gentle kiss to her temple.

"I don't know what to do. I'm not ready for this" Aria cried. "But if I…" she hiccupped; "If I… God, this baby is everything I've left of him. If I lose it, then… t-then Ezra will be gone. Forever"

Mona was a rational woman, but she didn't have the heart to tell her right then that Ezra was already gone forever. No needs to upset her boyfriend's sister any more than that. And Aria had a point – to an extent. Still, she didn't think her friend should had taken a life-changing decision in such an emotional state. She was going to open her mouth and voice her concerns when Hanna beat her.

"Hey, try to calm down now" the blonde murmured quietly. "It's not like you have to decide right now. You got time to reflect on this and consider your options. But you should do it in a more lucid state of mind. And whatever you'll decide, we'll be right there for you. Always" she promised solemnly.

"I couldn't have said it better" Mona exclaimed impressed.

"Why, thank you so much Mon" Hanna rolled her eyes at the brunette's incredulous tone.

For the first time that day Aria found back her smile, and once again felt grateful to Spencer for bringing her friends there.

As if on cue, the doctor knocked lightly on the door of her room, and three sets of heads whipped around to glance at her.

"Uh, hi" she greeted the three of them with her dazzling smile; "Didn't know you had company" she then addressed Aria.

"Hey!" the patient beamed at her. "Please, come in. I want you to meet my friends" she eagerly gestured with her finger for the doctor to step inside. Spencer obliged.

"Hanna, Mona, this is Dr. Spencer Hastings"

"Hi, nice to meet you" the doctor said, shaking the two women's hands.

"Likewise" Mona smiled politely.

"Pleasure's all mine" Hanna grinned at her, making a show of her dimples. She eyed the taller woman from head to toes, as she not so discretely checked her out.

"Ahem" Mona coughed unnecessarily loudly to break the awkward moment between the two, seeing as Hanna's fingers still lingered on the good doctor's hand, refusing to let go. "Leave it to our little Miss here to make friends wherever she goes, uh?" she said cheerfully, nodding towards Aria.

The hospitalized brunette bowed her head in embarrassment, trying to hide her reddened cheeks.

"Well, I must say she's rapidly becoming pretty popular down here" Spencer grinned. "The older nurses especially adore her. She's like their cute little girl"

If possible, the blush on Aria's face intensified and she was grateful that the others were too distracted talking amongst themselves to notice.

She was also glad that her two best friends and her doctor friend seemed to get along pretty well. Too well, in fact, if Hanna's flirtatious tone was anything to go by.

Her eyes narrowed as she observed the blonde giggling like a schoolgirl at something Spencer said: every so often she would flip her long, curly hair to her side; brush her hand on the doctor's forearm. Bat her eyelashes shamelessly. Lean a little towards her.

She didn't like it one bit.

And Spencer looked so smitten with her, too.

She pursed her lips in mild annoyance. She could feel her insides slowly firing up and she had no idea why. Why this little things were getting so much under her skin? There was really no reason.

"Alright, I should go now" Dr. Hastings' voice interrupted her train of thoughts. "Hanna, it was lovely meeting you. Where have you been all my life?" the doctor joked, and Aria could swear her blonde friend was going to swoon. "Mona, you too. You guys are something else, really" she chuckled mostly to herself.

"You should come back when you're shift's over" Hanna happily suggested. "We're going to be here 'till someone comes and kick us out"

"Sure, if I have time I'll stop by later" Spencer replied. "And I'll make sure that nobody will lay a finger on you, ladies" she winked.

And Aria didn't know if she was thrilled to prospect of having her coming back or if she wanted to scowl at their little exchange.

"Bye Aria" Spence finally addressed her, offering a warm smile. Not a moment later, she was already out on the hospital's hallway.

"Yeah, bye. Whatever" Aria muttered under her breath.

"OH MY GOD" Hanna squealed in enthusiasm. "Gosh, Aria, she's smocking hot!" the blonde commented when she was sure the charming doctor was out of earshot.

Now Aria realized whit a jolt that what she was feeling earlier was pure, simple, totally unjustified jealousy. The discovery left her troubled and she had no idea of what to do with any of this.

"Like, wow! Do all the doctors here are anything like her? If so, where do I sign for my recovery?"

"Hanna, do you remember Caleb right?" Mona interjected. "Tall, handsome. Large forehead, Caleb? Your _boyfriend_ , Caleb?" she insisted petulantly.

"Chill, Mona" the blonde huffed, rolling her eyes. "Just kidding. Of course I remember Caleb, but I still got eyes you know? I was just having fun. No harm in a little flirting, right?"

"If you say so, Han…" Mona replied, glancing sideway at Aria sporting a strange expression. Almost a knowing one. Almost.

…

…

"Hastings! Ya takin' your beauty sleep?" Dr. Emily Fields barked, slamming the on-call room's door open and snickering when Spencer bolted out of the bunkbed, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

She laughed even harder when her friend and colleague flipped her off.

"God, it's been years and I still piss my pant whenever you make Cox's impersonation" Spencer chuckled when her heartbeat slowed down. "I miss the old man"

"Yeah, he was really intense uh?" Emily smiled fondly at the memory of their mentor.

"More like a total creep" the other brunette snorted. "Crazy asshole" she shook her head, amused.

"Anyway, whatcha doin' here? I thought you had a hot date with that redhead chick… what's her name again?"

"Who, Christy?"

"Yeah! She's a dermatologist, right?"

"Yep" Spencer nodded. "I should meet with her in… two hours" she said as she checked her wristwatch.

"Then you should hurry home and make yourself at least presentable. You look like crap"

"Why thank you, Emily. Glad to know I can always count on your bluntness"

"Hey, I'm looking out for you. We don't want to scare her away, now, do we?" Emily laughed. "She may be the one, for all we know"

"Sure, of course" Spencer cackled. "Ever heard of 'booty calls', Em? Gosh, I almost regret introducing you to Ali. You used to be so much more fun in college" she smirked.

"Yeah, whatever you say Hastings" the other woman retorted. She didn't take offence by what her best friend said; she knew that Spencer was kidding. After all, if it wasn't for the brunette she wouldn't have met the love of her life.

"You know, the day will come when you'll meet your Alison, and all the iceness in your heart will melt away" Emily promised, and her eyes softened at the mention of her significant other.

"My God, Fields" Spencer shook her head disapprovingly. "You're disgustingly cheesy these days. Get it together, Romeo"

"We'll see who's right in the end. Good luck with your date, Casanova" Emily threw her over her shoulder, as she walked out of the room, not bothering to stay and listen to whatever comeback her friend had to offer.

"Tell your wifey I said hi" Spencer shouted anyway. Just because.

She took a look in the mirror and grimaced: the brunette was right, indeed she looked like crap. With a shrug she got back to the bunkbed, snuggling under the covers. She decided that she didn't need to dress up, a bit more of rest would do just fine. She would resort to other qualities to make an impression and thoroughly entertain her date, that night.

…

…

It was half an hour later when Spencer stirred and lazily stretched out her limbs, stifling a yawn. She got up and went to the locker room in order to shrug out of her scrubs, take a quick shower an change her clothes. In barely fifteen minutes she was on her way out and almost to her car – just perfectly on time for her date – when suddenly she remembered something.

The brunette turned on her heels and jogged back to the hospital. Minutes later, she found herself in what was rapidly becoming a familiar place.

Intensive Care Unit. East wing. Third floor. Room 214.

Aria's room.

"Hey, you're back" the brunette waved excitedly, clearly pleased to see her.

"Hi there" Spencer smiled, then turned to look at Hanna and Mona. "I was heading out but then I remembered I had a mission. I scared off every nurse who wanted to kick you guys out, so you have nothing to worry about now" she smirked.

"My hero!" Hanna gushed.

Mona and Aria rolled their eyes.

"Yeah, but you still should to keep a low profile. Though that won't be for too long, luckily. I heard that in a few days they'll move you out of here and in a general ward" she addressed this last part to Aria.

"Thank God" the brunette breathed out, visibly relieved.

Spencer's smile was warm and kind, as were her chocolate eyes. Aria felt the tiniest flutter in her stomach while her gaze was fixed onto the tall woman.

"Hey, wanna play with us?" Hanna spoke up and inadvertently broke the moment.

"Uh, sure…" Spencer replied, bringing a hand to the back of her head and scratching her nape. "What game?"

"Taboo?" Aria suggested.

"Urgh, really?" Hanna puffed. "I suck at this" she complained.

"Then I'll team up with Aria" Spencer piped. "I should warn you, though: I've been told to be a little… hyper-competitive at times"

"Oh, that's fine" Mona chimed in. "You just got yourself the ultimate player at this game"

"Really now?" the doctor glanced at Aria, arching an eyebrow.

"Eh, what can I say? I have a way with words…" Aria grinned slyly.

"Good to know" Spencer chuckled. "Alright, shall we start?" she said, sitting on the bed beside Mona and rubbing her hands together.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Hanna exclaimed right when Aria was about to reach out a hand and fish a card from the deck.

They all turned to look at her expectantly.

"I'm hungry" she mumbled sheepishly.

"How about pizza? I know a good place and they deliver pretty quickly, too" Spencer proposed.

"Oh God, yes! I could kiss you right now" Hanna sighed dramatically.

"No need. I'm gonna make the call" Spencer chuckled and walked out of the room to call the restaurant. Her date apparently long forgotten.

Aria stared at her back, pensive.

"You know what? I think I like her" Mona suddenly, and surprisingly, spoke up. "She seems a decent enough person"

"Decent?" Hanna snorted. "She's pretty amazing!"

"You say so only because she's buying you food"

"That's not true"

While the two were busy butting heads over nothing, Aria smiled softly to herself. Her next whispered words lost on everyone but her.

"Yeah, I think that I like her too".

 **A/N 2 : To Zak194: you asked and here she is. I'm just so fond of Hanna, I really couldn't keep her away for too long. But now I wonder if maybe you've got some kind of psychic superpower? :D**

 **To NHAlways: thank you so much! I mean it. I'm still planning some parts of the plot, but I promise I will keep it up, and you'll know all about Spencer's past, as well as Aria's (though on the last one I'm still not sure). I only can hope that I won't disappoint you as the story goes on.**

' **Till next time: thank you for reading, following, reviewing.**


	4. And the night comes on

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay, life has been busy recently. But hey, here's another chapter and a glimpse of Spencer's past. More will be revealed later, maybe even in the next installment. Thank you for reading/following/reviewing.**

She threw the latex gloves in the nearest trash can, pulled off the top-half of her scrub and stormed out of the operation room without sparing a second glance at the lifeless body lying on the cold metal table.

She unclenched her fists and proceeded to wash her hands, over and over and over again, rinsing herself of the blood. And the shame. And the ever present sense of guilt.

Approaching the double door she leaned against it for just a moment. A simple yet effective way to brace herself for what was bound to come next.

 _Breath in, breath out._

It was her ritual on crappy days like this one; it was not enough, the feeling of a life - a human life - slipping away from her hands while she stood there helpless after trying everything, absolutely everything and anything, to keep it there inside the body, where it belonged. It was not enough, losing a patient, a mother, under her scalpel. No, it was not enough. Like a harbinger of death, she also had the detestable task of delivers of the news nobody on Earth would ever want to hear. Hangman and messenger, all packed under the semblance of a woman. That's how Dr. Spencer Hastings felt right then.

 _Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out._

Another one in, another one out. And then, good to go.

She stepped out of the O.R. and instantly spotted two figures waiting for her: a timid little boy accompanied by a woman in a suit, probably a social worker. They approached her warily.

"Doctor? How's the-" the redhead began, only to be cut off by the boy.

Spencer's focus was already on him anyway.

"Where is my mommy?"

The biggest green, inquisitive eyes Spencer Hastings had ever seen in her life were fixed on hers, radiating a mix of curiosity and a dejected awareness an eight years old should not possess. The kid's voice was timid and tentative, careful. But painfully firm nonetheless. He wanted to know. He had a right to know. Even if he was too damn young to comprehend all of this, all the implications.

This moment was the perfect synthesis of what Spencer considered the shittiest part of her job.

She looked briefly at the woman standing behind him and shook her head slightly, then she crouched down in front of the little boy. Her gaze inevitably softened.

"I am so sorry" she whispered. "We've all done our best. She fought tooth and nail for her life, and so did we. But there were complications and ultimately there wasn't much else we could have done for her. We couldn't save her, I'm sorry" the doctor then explained to both the kid and the social worker.

The boy lowered his head in understanding and Spencer couldn't help but think that it was wrong. That a child so little should not understand something like this. It was simply wrong. Unacceptable.

"Is she in a better place now?" he asked sheepishly.

The two women exchanged a stunned glance at this.

"Once daddy was sick and mommy said that soon he'd be gone to a better place. When he closed his eyes, mommy said it would be forever but that we wouldn't have to worry 'bout him anymore, 'cause angels were already waiting for him in heaven and he was going to be happy and safe up there" he clarified. "And that part of him was always going to stay with me. Right here" he said as he brought a tiny hand to his chest.

"Your mom was right" Spencer smiled softly albeit sadly at him. "And she would be so proud of you for remembering all of that. She was a wonderful person, you know? And she never wanted to leave you. She loved you. Don't you ever forget how much proud she was of you, and just how much she loved you. She may be in a better place now, but she will always stay with you. She and your dad, they'll both look out for you from the sky from now on"

"You promise?" he mumbled and extended his pinky to the doctor.

"I promise" Spencer replied, hooking her finger around the child's one.

They hugged tightly before a nurse took him momentarily away from the women, leaving them alone to further discuss the events leading to the patient's death and the boy's situation now that he had no-one left in his family.

Unbeknownst to them, someone assisted to the entire exchange from afar.

Aria was wandering around the hospital's corridors when she noticed her doctor friend talk to the woman and the little boy.

Her staying at Mass General Hospital lasted just a little over a month. Her severely bruised ribs and fractured wrist and leg were almost completely healed, and so were the cuts and lacerations she sustained in the accident. There were a few surgeries she had to go through to fix her shoulder and her kneecap, but all considered the recovery was going very well and the doctors gave her instructions to start with physical therapy as soon as they deemed her ready.

By now, it was just a matter of time before they would clear and release her. Before she would be able to go back to her old, normal life – or what little remained of it.

A sudden move startled her and she caught with her eyes the figure of one Dr. Hastings dashing off from the hall and disappearing into an elevator. Something was going on with the tall brunette, and something pulled at Aria's heart and prompted her to follow the clearly upset woman.

She had a solid hunch on the doctor's current whereabouts.

Minutes later she found Spencer on the Hospital's rooftop, looking absentmindedly at the horizon. Aria could easily see why the brunette liked this place so much: it was her sacred place, her hermitage. An unexpected refuge from all the chaos and the horrors surrounding her every single day inside that very same building. A doctor's life was not a serene one – that much, she figured it out.

"Hey" Aria said softly, so to not startle the older woman. She had come to an halt next to the brunette without even realizing it. Their arms brushing slightly.

"Hey yourself" Spencer tried, and failed, to smile back at her.

"Tough day?" the smaller woman worriedly inquired. When a few seconds passed and Spencer did not reply, she tried to change strategy.

"It's really lovely up here. It never fails to amaze me" Aria commented casually. "I can't thank you enough for showing me your secret spot"

It was true, though. The view displayed in front of them was suggestive, to say the least.

From their position on the roof, they could observe a good portion of the city below. Boston offered quite the show, especially during this time of the year. After all, New England had a reputation for its peculiar, spectacular autumns.

They stood there, staring straight ahead and totally enthralled by the sight. Busy streets, intense traffic and then Charles River. The Esplanade. Lederman Park and Boston Common. A canopy of trees brushed by the breeze; the sun's rays caressing the leaves. The familiar black maples were turning to gold, while sugar maples flaunted fiery vermilion, yellow or orange leaves. Sumac and sourwood revolved crimson, while dogwood purple and birch gold. At ground level, blueberry barrens and cranberry bogs provided splashes of scarlet. A whole kaleidoscope of colors shone in front of their eyes and took their breath away.

"I'm glad I did" Spencer replied after a long while. "Sadly, not many people can appreciate beauty in its purest form"

"So… do you not think of me as _'many people'_?" Aria quipped lightly, a cheeky grin illuminated her graceful features.

"Definitely not, no" Spencer smirked back at her. "You're different" _'A good kind of different'_ , she added in her head.

Aria turned to look at her and raised an eyebrow but didn't receive any more than that.

"Spence" she sighed. "I know you're not really one for talk, but are you okay? I mean, I know you're not. I was walking down the aisle earlier and inadvertently I overheard you-"

Spencer brought up a hand, effectively stopping the younger woman's ramble.

"Sorry" Aria murmured sheepishly. "I just… I was worried for you. And if you want to talk about it, I'm here. Okay?"

The taller woman only nodded in acknowledgment, her gaze still fixed on the open space. After a while, a deep husky voice stroked Aria's ears like a delicious, velvety caress.

" _Without a family, man, alone in the world, trembles with the cold_ "

If her voice alone or the chilly wind weren't already enough to give Aria the goosebumps and make her shiver, the endless pain in Spencer's eyes did the trick.

"Dickens?" Aria ventured. By now, she had learned not to push the other woman's buttons in certain cases. Most of the cases.

"André Maurois. But I heard it on Criminal Minds" Spencer admitted with a small smile. "He's only eight and he already lost everything he knew. His parents, his childhood. His happiness. How is that fair?"

"It is not" Aria countered back sadly. "Life is not fair"

"Right" Spencer chuckled humorlessly. "I almost forgot…"

"But it's worth it"

"Debatable"

"You're a surgeon, Spence. Your job is to save lives. You have to believe that it's worth it, otherwise how could you do what you do every day?"

The woman did not respond but Aria couldn't help herself. This time she decided she was going to press further than that. She would get the guarded woman to open up, if just a little. She said to herself that she wanted to help her, but in reality a large part of Aria was just plainly curious.

During the last month she had come to a realization: from the moment she woke up from her coma, she had felt irremediably drawn to her. What all of that meant, Aria didn't know. The only thing she knew was that there was something about Spencer that made her want to know her more and more, with each passing day.

"Why did you become a doctor, Spencer?" Aria insisted, suddenly moving to grasp her hand.

Spencer looked down on their connected hands and blinked slowly. She frowned. Then, something flashed behind her pupils. Aria recognized that something as torment.

She didn't know what was going on in Spencer's head at the moment. All she knew was that she wanted to take all her pain away. Another thing to add to the list of inexplicable emotions Aria felt towards the older woman.

Why would Aria want to help her so badly? They had known each other for only a month. They were friends, alright. Well, sort of. Still…

"What?" Spencer asked abruptly, a little flabbergasted. "I-I didn't understand…"

"I asked why did you want to be a doctor? What pushed you to pursue this career?" Aria replied, tightening her grip on the woman's hand.

"Why I…" Spencer repeated a little dumbly.

Honestly, she didn't know how to answer. She didn't have a proper, acceptable answer.

Was it because she wanted to help others? As cliché as it sounded, yes. On some level.

Was it because of the prestige and the money? The infamous Hastings' ambition? To finally gain her parents' approval and consideration? Also a yes. A big, fat yes.

Was it because of… _them_?

As her thoughts inevitably drifted _there_ , she gasped. Pieces of a past she would never be able to get rid of flashed behind her eyes, and all of a sudden she was transported back in Italy, back in her childhood. Back when everything started and where all the answers and the fragments of her broken soul were buried.

 _She was a bright albeit shy little girl, who used to follow her bolder sister everywhere. Their mother loved them dearly, but all too often had to leave them alone at home. Being a single parent with two daughters - twins - was not easy, but they were doing well so far._

 _They traveled a lot, all around the world. They had so much fun together, lived so many adventures. They were a happy family._

 _Then, one day everything changed. Everything went down._

 _It happened when her sister tragically died. She was nine years old when she watched the freezing cold water of the lake swallow Alex's body. She nearly drowned herself._

 _She didn't remember being saved, but soon after that episode her mother stopped talking to her. She only told her they were moving back in Pennsylvania._

 _During the whole flight she had avoided to look out of the window, like all the other passengers were doing. The ocean reminded her of the cold water, which reminded her of Alex. Poor Alex._

 _She was devastated._

 _She had voiced Alex her concerns that day; told her it wasn't a good idea. That it was too cold and the waters were too deep. She did not listen. She never listened to anyone._

 _They were still on the plane when she cried herself to sleep. When she woke up, she was in a bed. A man sat down beside her. He had short dark hair and sharp brown eyes. He smiled at her and said he was her father._

 _Up until then, Spencer did not know what a 'father' was. She had only ever known her mother and her sister. But when she asked about them, the man - Peter – told her to forget all about them._

 _He introduced her to a tall, intimidating woman named Veronica and a girl a little older than her who glared at her with revulsion and mistrust. Her name was Melissa. Her 'new mom and sister', he said._

 _They welcomed her in their family and reminded her that, from then on, she was officially a Hastings. Whatever that meant._

"Spence, are you alright? You spaced out on me!" Aria's voice finally reached her.

She looked down into concerned hazel eyes.

"Because I didn't want to be a lawyer"

"Uh?" Aria frowned, completely dumbfounded by Spencer's sudden words.

"You asked me why I became a doctor. That's because I didn't want to be a lawyer. Or a politician. I just wanted to skip out on family traditions, you know?"

That was also a part of the truth. And the best she could come up with and offer to Aria at the time.

"Well, I for one am glad you didn't. The world doesn't need any more vultures" Aria beamed and winked playfully. "But could certainly use a very capable surgeon and incredibly kind woman" she added softly and sincerely.

The sky had turned grey a while ago, but it went unnoticed by the both of them.

"Aaww, don't tell me I made you cry now" Aria teased, as she watched a single, lonesome tear streaming down on Spencer's cheek.

A gust of wind howled, stronger than before. The air was humid, heavy. Loaded with electricity.

Despite that, Spencer felt warm.

"It's raining" she muttered groggily under her breath.

Aria regarded her carefully. When the first droplets of rain started to pour down and hit the ground, she broke down into a lopsided grin.

"Whatever you say, Spence" she chuckled goodheartedly.

"Ooh, shut up" Spencer said, nudging her lightly with her shoulder.

Before the storm got worse and the downpour had a chance to fall upon them along with the night, they intertwined their fingers together and ran to find a shelter.

 **A/N2: NHAlways: thank you so much. I try to write and update whenever I get a chance. Sadly, I couldn't do that much later. Also, I didn't realize the Cox's thing but yeah, I like it! It could very well be, too. The wonders of fictional worlds. (And Scrubs was/is the best show e-v-e-r) :D**

 **Sibuna: this is definitely a Sparia story. It's just that sometimes I can't help myself when it comes to Spanna interactions. I get too much vibes :D**


	5. So little, yet so big

Aria stood by the window in her room, mentally keeping count of each tap of her finger on the cold, glass surface, as the seconds ticked by and she still hadn't news about her discharge.

As if she hadn't wait long enough.

"Sooo"

A well-known voice startled her, the low murmur delivered almost directly into her hear and from behind her, and Aria found herself fixed on the spot, unable to move. Unable to fight the shivers from running down her back. Nor the tingling of her skin, or the sudden rush of heat spreading through her entire being. Mostly on her neck and cheeks. Mostly. There were other parts, too, obviously; parts she couldn't admit even to herself, not just yet. Hell, she couldn't even explain why her body reacted so strongly whenever her friend – _friend,_ she had to remind herself– was near her. Or whenever she thought about her.

Very deliberately slowly, and not after making sure she had regained some sort of composure, Aria turned around to meet warm chocolate eyes and an adorable goofy grin.

There that was again: the increasing temperature in her body and her heart skipping a beat, or two even. _'Damn it'._

"Hey you" she beamed. And apparently even her voice decided to betray her.

' _Too excited, Aria. Too freaking excited'._

"Hi" Spencer either didn't notice her odd behavior or had the good grace of not pointing it out. "A little bird told me today is the big day, uh?"

"Yeah" Aria replied, this time with a wistful if not slightly distant smile on her face.

Spencer frowned. That was definitely not the kind of response you would expect from someone who was being released after an excruciatingly long time of hospitalization.

"Hey, you alright?" the good doctor asked, placing a comforting hand on the smaller brunette shoulder.

Aria looked up at her and their gazes locked; for a moment a storm of conflicting emotions battled behind big hazel eyes, and then was gone. It vanished into nothingness, replaced by a mask of stillness.

The room was unnervingly quiet.

"I'm fine" the young woman reassured. "Otherwise you wouldn't discharge me" she added with a small smirk.

"But?" Spencer asked, not buying it. Because she knew better. Of course she knew better.

That was something Aria found herself wondering about a lot in the last month or so she had been in there: how could someone she'd just met – a very closed-off person herself, at that – come to know and understand her so well and so effortlessly as Spencer did?

It was astonishing, really. And, in all honesty, it used to bother her at first. It terrified her. Now, however… Now she was simply going to miss this. To miss _her_.

Nobody ever got her – or got to her – like the older woman did. Not her family, not her closest friends. Not even Ezra.

"I guess I'm a little scared" Aria reluctantly admitted, averting her eyes. _'To go back to a life that doesn't feel like mine anymore. That, I'm afraid, won't make any sense anymore. I'm scared of the ghosts; I'm scared of be too tired to properly function; too weak to…'_

A gentle squeeze on her shoulder interrupted her train of thoughts, bringing her back from whatever dark place in her mind she had found herself in. Once again, Spencer's touch anchored her back to reality.

Once again, Spencer had patiently sat there with her, waiting expectantly for Aria to blurt out all her concerns, all her fears. She never did. But Spencer listened and understood all the same, even though Aria never spoke them out loud.

There was no need. It was all written in her eyes.

"You're strong" Spencer said firmly, and a moment later she was enveloped by a pair of strong arms, the only thing that could have hold her together right then. "So much more than you are aware, or that you give yourself credit for. You're going to be just fine, 'cause you're just _that_ strong and resilient, Aria" she repeated in a tone that didn't leave space for any argument.

Aria couldn't find her voice, too overwhelmed by such display of belief, such trust in her; so she burrowed herself deeper into the soothing embrace and nodded faintly against the doctor's shoulder, letting the warmth of the taller woman's body wrap her tiny frame like a blanket; one that smelled divinely, of sophisticated perfume and coffee.

They stayed like that for an indefinite amount of time, Spencer tenderly stroking her back and Aria basking in the feeling, wishing she could stay like that, safe and cared for, all day; but then a sudden knock on the door startled the both of them, and they had to let go of each other.

A middle-aged, bulky nurse entered, bringing along a wheelchair and the release forms for Aria to sign. She stopped abruptly in the middle of the room and eyed the two women funny and for longer than etiquette deemed appropriate; it looked exactly like it was: she was assessing the situation with her piercing blue eyes. The hint of a playful smirk on her lips.

"Thank you, Louise" Spencer coughed slightly in embarrassment and lowered her gaze, trying to hide the faintest of the blush coloring her face. She offered nonetheless a grateful smile at the older woman, who handed the papers to the doctor.

"You can go now, I'll take it from here" she added insistently, hoping her detached tone was enough to dismiss the intrusive woman when it became clear that the nurse was enjoying herself a little too much, showing no intention to leave the room - and consequently the two of them alone - any time soon.

Aria brought a hand to her lips, trying really hard to suppress a chuckle at the little exchange between the two equally stubborn women.

"Ooh… of course, doctor" And with last knowing glance, and the ever present irritating smirk, the nurse approached the door, not without adding "Then, I'll leave it to you. Take care". And with that, she was gone.

For a minute or so, Spencer continued to glare in her direction, shooting invisible daggers, while Aria unabashedly burst out laughing.

"What the fu-" she shook her head and composed herself before turning to look at her amused companion; "Okay, what was that?"

"Oh, don't look at me" Aria said between laughs; "I have no idea. That was really weird"

"Yeah…"

"But your face was priceless!" the petite brunette giggled. "Absolutely adorable. I mean, if looks could kill the poor woman would be already down in the morgue… but you're kind of cute when you're annoyed, did you know?" she asked genuinely, not at all realizing what she had just said. Or deliberately avoiding to make a big deal out of her words.

One of the two, and whichever worked best to preserve the denial state she was in.

"Uh… t-thanks, I guess" Spencer, on her part, stammered and turned around, busying herself picking up Aria's bag and retrieving the wheelchair for her, all in order to hide her discomfort.

She had always had a hard time, in general, accepting compliments and, somehow, it was even more difficult with Aria. Not that she wasn't used to people flattering or trying to impress her; she just thought she didn't deserve the attention - at least, most of the times. Certainly, she deemed herself not worthy of Aria's consideration. The petite human being was too much of a nice person and too much of a kind soul in Spencer's eyes to waste her time with her.

"C'mon, little one. Time to sneak you out of here" the surgeon said as she walked behind her. Aria glanced down at the wheelchair, regarding the offending item with thinly-veiled disdain and incredulity.

"Oh no. No way. Nope" she shook her head fervently, dark curls of hair bouncing everywhere. "I'm not an invalid, I can walk" she stated defensively.

"Sorry, hospital's policy" Spencer fixed her with her unwavering stare, pointing her index finger down and using her well-practiced no-nonsense, professional tone.

It was an argument Aria couldn't win, they both knew it. So, with an exaggerated sigh, the tiny brunette abided and sat down – not without a childish, petulant pout on her lips and her arms crossed over her chest.

"You're such a baby" Spencer laughed goodheartedly, while pushing her out on the hallway.

"Shut up"

"What? It's true. Look at that pout!"

Aria rolled her eyes, but a small smile tugged at her lips and menaced to break free.

"And you're so tiny. I bet you'd fit perfectly in my lab coat's pocket…"

"Speeence" she huffed, half exasperated by her friend's relentless mocking, half amused.

"Crap! I can't believe I forgot to ask you" Spencer suddenly smacked a hand to her forehead. "Are you okay to go? I mean, is someone coming to pick you up?"

"I called my brother. Don't worry, he should be here any minute now"

"Oh" That definitely was a surprise.

"Yeah" Aria smiled hesitantly. "We talked on the phone the other day. He said he wanted to be there for me, and I told him I wanted him to. I want to fix things between us"

"That's good" Spencer offered sincerely. "I'm happy for you, Ar"

' _Ar'._ For some reason, she was immensely pleased by the use of her nickname.

"Thank you" she whispered softly.

Without even realizing it, they were already out of the hospital and in the parking lot. And right then, a blue sedan appeared and stopped in front of them.

A young man, a few years younger than Aria but much taller and extremely fit, stepped out of the car and all but rushed at their side. He hesitated a moment before taking the small brunette in his arms and almost squeezing the life out of her.

Spencer stood there observing them for a while, but when things started to get too emotional she decided it was her cue to leave and give the siblings some privacy. She turned around and started to walk back towards the hospital when a tiny, strong hand clasped around her wrist.

"Wait" Aria cried out, and the next thing she knew, she had arms wrapped around her neck and a cold nose nuzzling the space between her neck and her collarbone. "You didn't think I'd let you go like that, did you?" the former patient whispered, tightening her hold on her.

"I…"

"Thank you, Spence. I mean it"

"I didn't do anything, Ar"

' _Ar'._ Again.

"You saved me"

"I wasn't your attendant" Spencer objected, and it was so typical of her that Aria had to smile.

And then came the epiphany.

"You did everything, Spence. You made me smile when I thought I couldn't do that anymore. You'd been a friend. The best friend I've ever had"

She felt Spencer stiffen at her words, and without thinking about it she turned her head slightly and placed the softest of kisses on her cheek, just an inch above her jaw.

"Please, believe me when I say that _you_ saved me" Aria almost begged.

And Spencer couldn't take it anymore.

Because this tiny human being was so wonderfully naïve, so incredibly gentle, so graceful and delicate.

Because Aria looked at her like she was a fucking hero, her eyes shining with something dangerously resembling adoration, and nobody had ever looked at her like that.

She didn't deserve being looked at like that. She didn't deserve the bunch of shit Aria was telling her. She didn't deserve the privilege to believe her.

"Aria, stop"

"I met you when I was at my worst. I found you when I thought I didn't have anything left… And you've been so amazing to me, that I-"

"Please, stop" Spencer placed her hands on the smaller woman's shoulder and pushed her gently away. "Please…"

"Spencer, no matter what you think. I don't regret it"

"How?" the doctor whispered brokenly.

They stood there, in a parking lot. Literally an arm length away from each other, their eyes speaking much more meaningfully than their words.

' _How do you always know what's going on in my head?'_

' _How can you read me so easily?'_

' _How could you not regret meeting me in such circumstances?'_

' _How can you be so… accepting?'_

"I think everything happens for a reason, Spence" Aria replied to all those questions the other woman hadn't found the will to voice. "I'm not saying it's easy, or that it doesn't hurt, or even that it doesn't suck. But I'm healing. And it could have been worse. I may have never met you. So I'm glad I did"

"You don't know me, Aria"

"So let me in. Let me know you. I'd like to"

She smiled so brightly, so openly, Spencer wondered if a smile could blind someone's eyes. It certainly blinded her better judgement, because right then she lost all will to fight against herself, against Aria, and gave in.

"I feel incredibly selfish for saying this, but you have to know" the lanky doctor murmured quietly. "I'm glad I bumped into you"

"See? It wasn't that difficult now, was it?" Aria teased lightly, though feeling a jolt of electricity running though her at Spencer's admission. She felt absolutely elated.

Little did she know, the other woman felt that way too. Despite every single cell in her brain begging her to not trust these feelings; despite the monumental weigh on her stomach and the familiar nagging voice of fear whispering in her hear to pull away from what was yet another disaster waiting to happen when she still had the chance and nobody had to get hurt. Despite every past experience has taught her, Spencer's walls slowly but inevitably crumbled. She let them.

She was done being a coward. She was done running away. She didn't want run away from Aria, even with the knowledge that it could potentially destroy her in the end.

Aria was strong – she had said it herself earlier, when they were in her room and she needed her comfort.

Aria was strong, and she had still needed Spencer's comfort. She had taken it, and she had thanked her for offering.

Aria had trusted her.

"I should probably go now. Mike's a lot of things, but he's not patient" the subject of Spencer's musings spoke, and the woman realized that she really liked the sound of her voice.

She quickly took a glance at the younger man pacing a few feet away from them, trying his best to make himself scarce.

"But, I'll see you?" she asked shyly, biting her lips and looking so unsure, so timid. Like a child who had lost her parents in the midst of a crowd. "Don't be a stranger and call me, okay?" she asked, slipping a card inside her pocket and leaning up to kiss her cheek.

Spencer looked down at her completely awe-struck.

Aria Montgomery was so small, but she was also so, so big. Bigger than life.

"See you"


	6. Come healing

**A/N: Hello! Is anybody here? Well, I gotta try and make things right anyway, so: Dear readers, I am so incredibly sorry for the delay. I know that this is a long overdue chapter, but things got pretty hectic for me lately and I am no longer able to follow a regular schedule in updating (not that I had one before...); anyway, please know that I am not giving up on this story and that I will post a new chapter whenever I have the chance to do so. I can only hope that you will be still interested in this fic. And for all of you who are still here reading and spurring me on to continue writing: thank you!**

 **And now, on with the story… Enjoy!**

Spencer stood there for a while, still stunned and completely lost in another world, watching as the car the younger woman had gotten into mere minutes ago pulled out of the parking lot of the hospital and sped off down the main street. Aria's words echoed loudly and meaningfully in her ears.

' _I think everything happens for a reason.'_

Such a preposterous concept, Spencer mentally scoffed.

And yet those eyes… those marvelous hazel eyes shone with so much conviction that the usually cynical woman was prone to believe her. She found out – much to her surprise – that for once in her life she didn't mind it. Didn't mind the possibility of putting her old, distrustful self on the line once again. Not if it was for the younger brunette.

Ridiculous as it was – and from her perspective it was maybe the most foolish thing she could ever do – she decided to have faith and try to trust Aria, fully aware that such a thing had the potential to destroy her once and for all. Still, that little voice in her head told her it would be worth it.

' _What is it about you?'_ The tall doctor mused silently to herself, while the obnoxious sound of sirens shrieking from afar was getting more and more louder as it came closer.

Three ambulances appeared in front of her eyes. In no time a dozen of doctors gathered around three different stretchers while paramedics blurted out facts and assessments and numbers. In the midst of all that mayhem someone called out to her.

Spencer blinked.

' _Just what are you doing to me, Aria?'_

By the time she rushed over to her colleagues, her mask of concentration and detached professionalism was already in its place. Right then she was Dr. Hastings and, right then, someone's life was literally put in her hands. Nothing else mattered.

… …

On the other side of Charles River, two estranged siblings who have been apart for way too long were now confined within the small space of a car, the both of them feeling uncharacteristically awkward around each other.

A slightly uncomfortable silence stretched between them since they left the hospital.

' _How curious…'_ the older one thought to herself, chancing a brief sidelong glance towards her brother before returning her eyes on the road ahead; _'That's exactly when people have so much to say that words suddenly decide to fail them.'_

She shook her head lightly, a hint of exasperation manifesting on her face at the ludicrousness of the whole predicament.

"Ahem" she cleared her throat, trying to start a conversation, when at the same time Mike switched the car radio on rather abruptly. He never really was one for long, soul searching pauses and quiet moments of personal introspection, evidently.

At least he had good taste in music, apparently. Aria arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow and turned to look at her baby brother in mild amusement and thinly disguised amazement when a familiar melody reached her eardrums.

 _I built my house beside the wood  
So I could hear you singing  
And it was sweet and it was good  
And love was all beginning  
Fare thee well my nightingale  
'Twas long ago I found you  
Now all your songs of beauty fail  
The forest closes 'round you…_

"Leonard Cohen?" she asked, slightly taken aback. "You?!"

"Oh" Mike frowned in realization, then in distaste. "It must be one of dad's old CDs"

Aria snorted "Now it makes sense"

"Yeah, yeah… whatever" the young man grumbled. "So, where is it exactly that you live, again?" he asked, gesturing vaguely to the road.

"Um, actually…" Aria began, "There's a place I really need to go first. If you don't mind drive me around for a while, that is"

"Sure…" Mike replied evenly, which earned him a small but genuine smile in return.

The smile however turned soon enough into a scowl when he made to turn off the radio.

"Oh, come on" the brunette complained, slapping his offending hand away. "Leave it on. You could really use a little music education"

"But-"

"Nu-uh" Aria childishly interrupted. "No buts. Shut up and enjoy" She grinned at her brother's muttered expletives, knowing she had won the squabble, and closed her eyes with a contented sigh.

"You still have to tell me where do you need me to take you" she heard her brother say.

With her eyes still closed and a lenient smile on her lips, she whispered their destination.

"To Ezra's"

… …

Thirteen Leonard Cohen's songs later, they reached Mount Auburn Cemetery.

She did not even give her brother enough time to properly halt the car in the parking lot that she unbuckled the seatbelt and quickly bolted out of the vehicle, before she could lose her nerves. Mike glanced at her sideways with a questioning look. She smiled softly and nodded briefly at him in reassurance, as if it were enough to wash away his concern.

"Wait" he grabbed a hold of her hand. "Are you really sure about this?"

Or not.

"Positive" Aria stated simply. "It is something that I need to do. Alone" she added. "Don't worry, I'm fine. I'll be fine. And I'll even treat you to lunch later if you'll kindly let go of me now"

Her brother let out an uneasy but resigned sigh and leaned against his car, watching her limp away down the cobblestone trail and disappear minutes later behind a bunch of cypress trees.

As she wandered through the graveyard she curiously peeked around, while at the same time paying extra attention so as to avoid stepping inadvertently over the various graves that presented themselves before her eyes. She halted for a moment in her steps, taking in the landscape and marveling at its unusual beauty; she was oddly fascinated by the ancient tombstones and the sober elegance of the monuments. When she was younger, cemeteries used to scare her. Now, now the place seemed to bring her an odd sense of comfort and an absolute peace of mind.

With a renowned sense of purpose and pushed by an invisible force she resumed her path.

However, when she finally reached the one grave she was looking for, she couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips and the stiffness of her shoulders. She literally froze.

It wasn't like reality just hit her: she was prepared for this moment. As a matter of fact, she had been bracing herself since she found out that Ezra never made it off the table. That he was really, irremediably gone. Forever.

"Hi" Aria greeted softly, her voice constricted to an almost inaudible whisper.

Still, this was it. The moment she had to confront the harsh truth; see for herself. Come face to face with all of that happened in the last month or so.

In the last several years. A very consistent part of her life.

And look at how it all worked out for her: she met someone in a random bar, when she least expected it. She wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place. But the two of them hit it off right away; a casual chat, a lingering gaze. A couple of drinks. And then it's a blur of images of the past seven, eight years of her life: her first kiss, the second; her first time. The first 'I love you', whispered between the sheets of his bed. And then their first break-up. The second. Hell, even the third. And then her moving to Boston in her first apartment and him coming to visit every two weeks. The first time he broached up the prospect of maybe, possibly, in a near future, moving in together. Start a family. And again, all those stupid, petty arguments they would have because she wanted to go out, while all he wanted to do was stay in and spend a lazy Sunday on the couch, watching some old black-and-white movie and eating apple pies. And she would relent, every single time. Because she wouldn't admit it, but those quiet, lazy Sundays indoor were everything to her.

And then, one day, no more of that. No more of him. No more of 'them'.

All it takes is one day. For a person to become a memory; a cold stone firmly planted on the ground, lost somewhere in between this seemingly endless sea made of marble. An inscription on the surface, rather impersonal, to prove that once you existed. A date to testify that you were born; another one to state that you are dead.

Is it even possible for someone, anyone, to truly and fully come to terms with such nonsense?

Maybe in time. After all, they say that time heals all wounds.

Maybe if she took a deep breath.

So she did: she took a deep breath, and when she inhaled the fresh air of October her nostrils filled with a pleasant scent of cut grass and pines. She felt reinvigorated.

"I'm sorry it took me so long" Aria's soft voice was barely audible, her murmurs effortlessly covered by the chirping birds. "Then again, it's not like you'd go anywhere" she chuckled dryly.

She exhaled rather loudly and the moist cloud of breath that escaped her mouth and evaporated in the chilly air distracted her for a second or two with its ephemeral patterns.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that" Aria admitted. "It's just… it's hard, you know? I feel like such an idiot right now. It's weird, talking to you like this. Not being able to see you getting annoyed and rolling your eyes at me"

"Oh" Suddenly she snapped her fingers as a thought finally occurred to her. Bending down, she put on the ground the bouquet of tulips and daisies that she was clutching close to her chest up until then.

"Did you see? I even brought you flowers. You never brought me flowers" she said sternly. "But you wrote me a poem once, so I guess we're even now"

Silent tears were freely streaming down her cheeks at this point; still, a small, serene smile refused to leave its spot on her mouth. To an outsider, the look on her face would appear rather comical but it was one that actually reflected her inner, most private emotions.

While the moment was certainly one of the saddest in her life, it was nothing overly dramatic – much to her astonishment. Instead, she would describe this experience as a bittersweet one.

"You know, it's funny! There are so many things I would like to say to you but I don't know how. Am I even supposed to talk to a rock? I had such a long speech on my mind and now I can't remember a single thing; I can't even find the words. And all I wanna do is cry and laugh and hug you and kiss you and yell at you, be mad, and… and… and I miss you, Ezra! I really, really do. But I'm learning to live with that, you know? Actually, it's easier than I initially thought it would be…"

At some point, while imagining and playing out in her mind this exact moment during the restless nights she spent laying on her hospital bed, Aria expected she would turn into a bawling mess at the very least. In her worst case scenario, she… well, she didn't want to think about that ever again.

"I thought I couldn't live without you, you know? And guess what? I won't have to. You made sure of that. You made sure I would never have to be alone again. Your last gift to me was the most precious, the one I will treasure for the rest of my life" She continued, her palm tenderly and protectively pressed against her stomach. "And that gives me a strength I never knew I possessed. I will use this strength to protect our baby, I promise. I will make sure that our little one will know, in time, who his or her father was"

She squeezed her eyes shut, her fingers caressing the cold surface of the marble stone. "We won't ever forget you, Ezra. Our lives may go on without you but we won't let you behind. Ever. You will always be a part of me, of us. Always"

Then, she stood up and turned around on her unsteady feet. After a moment of hospitalization her physical strength was at its lowest, and her muscles screaming in pain were a harsh reminder that she had yet to make an appointment with her physician so she could start her rehab. Maybe she could ask Spencer once she would get home.

"Goodbye Ezra" she whispered over her shoulder, walking away down the same path as before, only reversed.

She spotted her brother pacing impatiently in front of his car and a melodious chuckle escaped her parted lips.

For the first time in a long while, Aria felt lighter. Not completely freed of the weigh in her chest or even partly relieved from her anxieties and fears for an uncertain future – that would require a lot of time and efforts on her part – but simply lighter. She has finally come to accept that what had happened to her was a tragedy that couldn't be avoided.

Sometimes the worst happen right in front of our eyes and we can't do anything about it. It's as simple as that. God, or fate, or whatever it is that's above us, is the one thing to pull the strings and we are all but mere puppets in this mastermind's hands. There's no such thing as control. It's a privilege nobody granted us. The sooner we are able to accept the stark reality, the better.

The sooner you realize that, the sooner you can start to focus on what really matters.

When she reached the car, Leonard Cohen was still playing and she had to hid a secretive smile as she found that the lyrics of one of her favorite songs, one she used to listen to a lot when she was younger and remembered her of her childhood, hit dangerously close to home.

 _O gather up the brokenness / And bring it to me now  
The fragrance of those promises / You never dared to vow_

 _The splinters that you carry / The cross you left behind  
Come healing of the body /Come healing of the mind_

 _And let the heavens hear it /The penitential hymn  
Come healing of the spirit / Come healing of the limb _

If the universe was sending her a message through the deep, comforting voice of a real poet no less, then Aria would make sure to listen carefully and take notes.

After all, everything happens for a reason – of that she was sure. She was also very much looking forward to know where fate would lead her.


	7. A blast from the past

**A/N: In this chapter another part of Spencer's past is revealed, while some other unresolved issues emerged. Sorry for the lack of Sparia, I swear I'll make it up to you soon enough.**

 **As always,** _ **italics**_ **= flashback and/or inner thoughts. Please, enjoy.**

…

 _Her name was Elene. Red hair, with a petite frame and the most enticing emerald eyes she had ever seen. She was her classmate, her team mate, and one of her closest friend._

 _She was also her first crush ever._

 _On that day, while coming back from field hockey practice, they held hands during the walk to Spencer's house. It was the first time the brunette managed to brave up enough to make a move, or at least an attempt at something like that; and she was surprised yet delighted to find that her friend did not mind at all the sweet but intimate gesture. On the contrary, she smiled contently and squeezed her hand back._

 _Ever the observant one, Alison saw that and grinned to herself. Even though the feeling of being a third wheel started to creep on her._

 _She was not jealous, by any means. But she was particularly attached to her neighbor and best friend, and was extremely protective of her. For some reason or another, ever since the weird, lonely brunette with sad eyes moved into the big mansion next door, she had felt drawn to her. Compelled to befriend and look after her. And for the life of her, Alison couldn't understand why. But the two seemed to click, despite being worlds apart: one was popular and outgoing; the other was a loner, confident but introverted. One was brash and outspoken; the other was aloof and disinterested._

 _On the other hand, there were also traits that they shared: they both were stubborn, driven, smart and competitive. And they both tried their hardest to keep their most genuine side hidden away from a world that would not think about it twice and take advantage of their fragilities. That was a lesson they both learned the hard way. Another thing they had in common._

 _Perhaps it was because of their fiercely guarded hearts that they could understand each other so easily, so effortlessly, and more importantly, totally unbiasedly. Still, there was something special about their bond. Almost mystical, one could say._

 _The last time Spencer had experienced a similar connection to someone, it had been with Alex. Her dead twin sister. The realization hit the brunette in the head like a ton of bricks, completely out of the blue, and left her astonished and in some way guilty. Maybe because some part of her thought that she was trying to replace her, though the brunette rationally knew that was not the case._

 _There was just something familiar between them. A sense of belonging that neither of them could explain or even fully discern at the time._

 _And so they were, on their trail back home; little did they know that soon enough they would discover just how deeply intertwined their lives really were._

 _Spencer and Elene were the first to step inside the Hastings' mansion, Alison close behind them. The red-haired had flushed cheeks and was giggling very girlish-y like at something the taller girl had said; the brunette gazed at her crush with adoring eyes._

 _Alison fought hard to prevent herself from rolling her eyes at the cheesy pair and sighed heavily when they both dashed out towards the stairs. She closed the door behind her and grudgingly made to follow them. She momentarily halted midway in her ascend when loud, angry voices echoed from upstairs, then snapped out of her reverie and bolted on her feet, only to found two teenagers standing awkwardly in the hallway, unwillingly eavesdropping the argument that was taking place inside of Spencer's father's studio._

" _I can't believe that woman's guts! The audacity!" Veronica cried out in indignation._

" _I know, okay? I know." Peter replied, frustration and tiredness lacing his voice. "But we can't do otherwise. If we don't give her what she wants she's going to take her away from us."_

" _Are you insane?" his wife shot back. "No, Peter. I don't care what she said. I refuse to give into her threats! I won't let you give her any more-"_

 _As the yelling gradually subsided into harsh whispers, the three girls stood stunned on their spot, completely flabbergasted, not even chancing a glance to each other. That was until a malicious voice from behind them spoke up for the first time._

" _You kids shouldn't go snooping around and pry into grown-ups things. Not if you know what's good for you…" Melissa Hastings decided to make her presence known._

" _What's going on in there?" Spencer countered._

" _Are you deaf or just plain stupid? Didn't I just tell you to stop sticking your nose where it doesn't belong?" her sister replied with another of her snarky remarks. Bitch's trademark._

" _Melissa!" Alison growled warningly._

" _Alison." The older Hastings smiled sickeningly sweetly at her. "My, what a loyal guard dog you have become!"_

 _Poor Elene was feeling more and more uncomfortable as time passed by and the animosity between these people grew thicker._

" _I'M NOT LETTING THAT WOMAN TAKE SPENCER AWAY!" the man inside the studio barked angrily, and his shouted words were sufficient to freeze Spencer's blood in her veins. "And that's final."_

" _Peter!"_

 _Two heads, one with blonde hair and the other with red hair, whipped around to look at her, both questioningly and concerned. But all Spencer could focus on were the pair of dark, dangerous eyes, of her sister, who was boring a hole through her with her stare._

 _With a knot in her stomach and her heartbeat pounding furiously into her ears, Spencer summoned up what little strength and resolve she had left. "Melissa," she whispered; "What did dad mean? If you know something then, please, tell me…"_

 _Slumped posture and expression defeated. A chocked voice._

 _Witnessing her younger half-sister in such a state, for the first time in her life Melissa Hastings felt something akin sympathy._

" _What I know is…" That didn't stop her, however, to give into her sister's foolish request. Spencer was like a dog with a bone: she wouldn't give up until she deemed herself satisfied. Too persistent and at times naïve for her own good. That, however, was merely an excuse; her ulterior motive was another._

" _What I know is that, ever since you were brought here, dad has been sending money to Mary Drake. Completely disregarding mom's protests."_

 _And there came finally the truth. Well, Melissa's version of the truth anyway._

" _Spence? Who's Mary Drake?" Alison immediately inquired - the name sounding oddly familiar. She heard her father mentioning her once, in relation to her deceased mother, Jessica. But that was a long time ago and, just like this once, that was a conversation she wasn't even supposed to hear._

 _Spencer distractedly noted that the blonde, in fact, was still there by her side. Elene, though, she was long gone. And who could blame her? Honestly, if given the chance she would also gladly run away from the big mess that was her life._

 _That day, Spencer found out some interesting things about herself. Like, for example, that her biological mother had sold her to her biological father and his family. Probably because she still blamed her for her sister's death and couldn't stand her sight anymore._

 _And her adoptive mother had had apparently enough of wasting money on a bastard child, the living proof of her husband's clandestine affair with another woman._

 _A woman who had in turn a twin sister, and said twin sister was none other than Alison's mother. Well, at least that explained their bond. At least the knowledge that her best friend, her anchor, was also her cousin, was good news._

 _Finally, she understood that her life was never going to be anything short than 'complicated' (to put it mildly). And with that came also the realization that, at the end of the day, she had only herself to rely on. Nobody would ever be crazy enough to put up with her problematic self and her baggage._

 _She was thirteen years old and life had already taught her too much._

 _A loud thump came from the other side of the closed door, and an alarmed Peter was calling out his wife's voice in alarm._

" _Veronica! Veronica, please, open your eyes!"_

 _Spencer and Melissa barged into the room immediately, only to see their mother's seemingly lifeless body lying on the floor._

" _The 911! Someone call the 911" Peter shouted._

 _Later that night, the young brunette made yet another disturbing discovery: her adoptive mother suffered from breast cancer._

…

…

Spencer's mind woke before her senses even began to function. At first she wondered where she was, when both of her tired eyes snapped open and the foggy chocolate orbs darted around the area - a confused expression contorting her usually soft features. She breathed in relief when she recognized the familiar on-call room. Something, however, made her frown.

She slowly, and with great tentativeness, turned her head to see the other motionless but very alive body that occupied the bed with her. Her eyes nearly bugged out of her head as she examined the occupant's massive mound of dark curly hair cascading down the back of a slender, yet curved body half hidden under the off white bed sheets.

"Awesome!" she groaned in exasperation. That was exactly what she needed: yet another one-night stand with a random nurse.

At least the woman was from another unit. It was a lesson she learnt way back in her training days: never mix work with pleasure. It never ends well.

Before a reminiscent smirk at her old days could even began to form on her lips, her pager went off and she was instantly on her feet, throwing her clothes back on and rushing to the door, even though the call did not required her concern.

It was just her luck that at the very same moment, a well-known jerk decided to take his nap after having completed his rounds. The two acquainted surgeons bumped into each rather brusquely – much to Spencer's annoyance.

"In a hurry, aren't we?" Wren idly commented, blocking her way. His eyes took in her disheveled appearance and what seemed to be a severe case of bed head, before focusing on a particular livid spot on her neck, just below her ear, that he was fairly certain wasn't there before, and his grin morphed into a devious smirk. "Hmm, if I didn't know any better I'd recommend for you to consult Carlson in derm… they say she's very competent. Pretty good bedside manner, too." He did not even bother to try and hide the venom and complacency that laced his every words.

"Yeah? Good to know…" Despite feeling the irritation building up inside her, Spencer did her best to appear as calm and unfazed as possible. Just because she knew it would irk her oh so esteemed colleague to no end. "My shift ends in…" she checked her wristwatch just for show, "sixteen minutes. I could always make a little detour on my way out." And finished with a wink.

"Well, if your new ' _friend'_ doesn't mind…" he shot back, a little aggravated, nodding towards the still sleeping nurse inside the infamous on-call room.

It was no secret among the hospital staff (and some outsiders as well who had gotten lucky in the past) that that was the place to go to for amorous rendezvous and occasional hookups. It was also no secret that a certain tall, dark and broody doctor happened to be more acquainted with the place than their fellow colleagues, having been spotted quite often there and always in delicate company, as a figure of speech.

"Oh, I'm sure she won't." Spencer smirked evilly. "I'm proud to inform you that after some, um, unfortunate experiences in the past, I've learned my lessons. About that, ever I ever thanked you for opening my eyes? You've been a great help, you know!"

Taken aback by her quip, the other doctor could only stare at her former fling, mouth slightly agape and vacant expression. "Glad to be of assistance…" he muttered under his breath.

Something caught her eyes, and when she turned her head slightly she recognized her impeccably dressed sister standing a few feet away from them, talking animatedly with two of her seniors, one of whom she recognized as the current Chief of oncology. Slowly she resettled her unwavering gaze on Dr. Kingston.

"Oh, no need to make that face now." She continued. "After all, everything worked out just fine for you too in the end. You and Melissa make such a wonderful couple. You truly deserve each other."

' _Game. Set. Match. Take that, asshole.'_ Spencer internally beamed.

An unmistakable chuckle called her attention, and they both turned to glance at the intruder.

"Mom!" The brunette cried out in surprise. "What are you doing here?"


	8. Family matters and grown-up talks

**A/N: I think I re-wrote this chapter a dozen of times. Still not satisfied with the result, as it differs a lot from my original plan, but I guess it will do. It's mostly about Spemily friendship, something I really wanted and needed to portrait, kind of because Emily is the sole 'support system' Spencer has – besides Alison of course – and they're practically family; but also because, if you read between the lines – and hopefully you won't have to squint your eyes too much - you'll see that during their conversation emerged a lot of our dear doctor's insecurities and issues that she uses to cover with sarcasm (her ultimate weapon and defensive mechanism); but she'll have to deal with them sooner or later, especially if she wants to build a relationship with our favorite munchkin (aka Aria, if that wasn't already clear).**

 **So yeah, while it may be a little boring and 'underplaying', I think, it seemed necessary to me in order to move things forward and push Spencer to do some serious thinking and work on her faults. Okay, all of this rant to say essentially that I needed a filler chapter to build characters' development. I guess I'm not as concise and straight to the point as I thought. Still, I hope you'll like it and maybe let me know your thoughts about it? Anyway, thanks for reading!**

…

…

 _What makes a good friend? Someone who is there to ask what's wrong and actually wants to hear a honest reply? Someone who can comfort you with just a look or a pat on your back? What makes a good friend is not what they do, not what they say, but rather someone who is always willing to listen. Because, at the end of the day, all anyone wants - all anyone needs - is to be listened to and, with some luck, to be understood even._

"One heart attack coming for you." Emily said, quietly approaching her friend from behind and placing the still hot Styrofoam cup near her cheek. "Enjoy."

Spencer however did not react. She couldn't focus on anything other than the see-through glass in front of her.

Not only were her eyes crossing and uncrossing at inconvenient times during the day, but her thoughts wandered like a child's. The voices in the hospital would fade into the background, and she'd be caught up in a memory or a fantasy, until one of her interns or some other doctor gently pinched, poked, and/or prodded her, or the Chief unceremoniously barked at her. She had been like that since the other day, when her mother showed up seemingly out of the blue, bringing along long buried emotions and memories and disagreements, as well as some unsettling news. Like, for instance, that her illness has resurfaced.

For instance because, as it always – _always_ – happened in the almighty Hastings family, weaknesses and personal failures were to be brushed off and immediately hidden under a thick veil of mundane, shallow amenities – if ever they were brought out in the first place, that is. So it had to be understood and simply accepted that, when the Senator invited her darling daughters out to have a nice brunch together, it was to discuss the impending series of charity events that would take place in the months to come. It was a given. Of course they would steer clear from topics such as diagnosis, cancer treatments, life expectancy, and whatnot. The Hastings' heiresses had been taught better than that.

For those of their stature it was all about appearances, and how much powerful, accomplished and influent you could get. Flaunting your social standing to spite and crush the opponents, be they Brahmins from old money families or the despicable and often frowned upon social ladders; or even mingling with other disgustingly rich, stuck-up people at their glamorous parties and engaging in meaningless conversations. Making the right connections, running in the same circles. All of the above sacrificing and putting aside their most genuine and compassionate side as well as their humanity at times. And for what purpose again? To live up certain expectations.

' _What a hassle.'_ Spencer groaned exhaustedly while massaging her temples, trying in vain to alleviate her migraine.

She was so out of her game lately, feeling lost and helpless and simply at the mercy of the events; she had lost count of how many times she'd said 'I'm sorry' during the day, or 'Excuse me' when she bumped into someone. She was in a haze. Nothing could keep her attention, nothing could take her out of the bubble of tiredness, solitude and self-pity she encased herself in. It was in the last few hours of her shift that she couldn't take it anymore. And neither could her best friend.

"Spence!" Emily huffed, tapping her foot impatiently. It seemed to sort the desired effect, though, because not a moment later the other brunette turned her head slightly to look at her.

"Uh?"

"Here, your coffee."

Spencer knitted her brows together as she studied the cup suspiciously. "Supersize drip?"

"Yup."

"… And?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Three sugars, no milk."

That was all it took for Spencer's face to visibly lit up as she eagerly accepted the offered drink. "Thanks, Em." She smiled sincerely.

"You're welcome." The other woman brushed her off with a small smile. "I also got you this. Wouldn't want to have to deal with a low blood sugar Spencer. _Again_." She said with a knowing look as she brandished a small paper bag sporting the hospital cafeteria's logo.

"Oh, please. I'm not that bad." Spencer replied, already munching happily on her danish – her need for caffeine and sugar apparently satisfied. Emily grinned proudly, feeling like a heroine who has just saved the world from impending destruction. _'Well, close enough.'_ She mentally shrugged.

"I beg to differ. I hardly experienced anything worse in my life; that day left me traumatized. I still have trouble falling asleep when I think back on it…"

"Shut up, you dork." Dr. Hastings chuckled despite herself. "Good thing Alison's there to hold you, then."

"Yeah, it really is…" Emily's grin turned into a sweet smile of pure affection at the thought of her girlfriend - something Spencer didn't fail to notice. And just like that, he mood between the two friends suddenly shifted.

"You're good for each other." A simple statement, accompanied by a firm nod of her head as if to confirm the truth in those words.

"Thanks." The pediatric surgeon replied softly. After a beat, "Wait, does it mean that we have your blessing?" She couldn't help the light tease – even though she could feel the classical butterflies swirling in her stomach as the question slipped out of her mouth.

Spencer stared at her for a long time, arched eyebrow and her signature contemplative pose. Emily fought the urge to squirm under such pressure. "You're serious about this, aren't you?"

"I… Yeah. Yes, I guess I am. It does make sense, after all."

"This is not a spur of the moment kind of thing." She considered. "How long?"

"A while." Emily confessed. "It's just… I was thinking-"

"Wow, now that's some improvement. I didn't know you had it in you!" the brunette snickered; however, her friend's pointed glare made her shut up quickly.

"You think you're so funny." Spencer only grinned cheekily in response.

"Smartass." The Filipino woman grumbled.

"Sorry, sorry. Please, go on."

Emily took a deep breath. "There's not much to tell. I woke up one morning and, I don't know, maybe it was the way the sun hit her face, making her hair shine so brightly; or maybe it was her sleepy smile when she opened her eyes and snuggled closer to me. I was so caught in the moment, all I could think was 'Wow. If only I could wake up to _that_ every day of my life…', and then I realized that it is, in fact, a possibility. So yeah... It's as simple as that."

' _Simple you say, uh?!'_ Spencer mused, somewhat charmed. "Wow, I don't know what to say…"

"Tell me that you're okay with this." Her best friend supplied, her eyes sparkling with hope and anticipation. "But only if you mean it."

"Em, I… are you really asking _me_ for her hand? Shouldn't you have this talk with her father?"

"Of course I'm asking you: you're family!It's your opinion that matters the most to Ali. Actually, there are times when I'm left wondering if you guys still think of each other as everything that you've got." She admitted a little sheepishly.

A sudden rush of emotion reverberates through Spencer, and for a long while she found incapable to utter a single word for her throat felt so constricted. She placed a firm hand on her long-time friend's shoulder, clasping it tightly but not so much as to physically hurt her. "You better treat her right, got it?"

Emily's beaming smile widened while tears began to pool in her eyes. "I will. Of course I will." She nodded her head frantically, giggling like an idiot. "Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me! To the both of us!"

"Oh, don't thank me yet. Wait 'till I'll give my speech at the wedding reception." Spencer smirked deviously.

"Ah, whatever! Come here, you big jerk." An extremely overwhelmed and overjoyed Emily squealed, launching herself at the unsuspecting brunette, who hadn't been expecting such a reaction and therefore wasn't able to duck out of the way in time.

"Oi, easy there. Save that enthusiasm for when Alison actually says yes, would you?" Spencer said through gritted teeth as she weaseled her way out of the bear hug.

"I don't know why I bother putting up with you and your abuse."

"Ouch, that hurts!"

"Seriously, you can be such a bitch sometimes." Emily winked, letting her friend know that she was just messing with her. Not that it was necessary.

"And you're such an old-fashioned sap. A real gentleman from another time! The last romantic in Boston. The-"

"Woah, alright. I get it already, you can stop now." They both chuckled. "Hey" Emily said after a while, "do you ever wonder how you and I became friends? We're nothing alike."

"An unfortunate turn of events?"

"You know what? You can be sarcastic all you want; I know that you love me." Emily huffed petulantly and crossed her arms, slightly indignant.

Spencer watched her in amusement. "That I do." She said, her voice slightly above a whisper. And to get the message across she even offered one of her genuine, gentle smiles. A very rare sight, one that warmed Emily's heart.

"We may not have much in common, you're right. But all things considered you're actually a nice and tolerable person. You don't even annoy me as much as I make it out to be."

"Gee, thanks. I'm flattered. That's maybe the sweetest thing you ever said to me. No kidding." The pediatric surgeon pouted a little.

"Ah, anytime Em. Anytime." Spencer patted her back reassuringly, still chuckling to herself.

"I guess we just sort of clicked right away…" The brunette then mumbled, answering her friend's previous question. "And as the saying goes, the rest is history."

"Mmh, seems fitting…" Emily shrugged, thinking back on her first encounter with a much younger but equally abrasive and sassy Spencer Hastings, the young woman whit whom she constantly butted heads but who would later become an essential part of her life, as well as her best friend.

A sudden shriek startled the both of them, and they were remembered of their current location by agonizing cries and wailings. To think that they choose to spend their coffee-break in the neonatology ward precisely because of their need to escape their awful, hectic routine and take a breath, have some peace of mind while looking at something beautiful, pure and awe-inspiring for once.

They turned their heads and stared into the glass window, focusing on the newborn babies inside of the nursery. Each infant ranged from sleeping to glaring all around to crying. Spencer focused on the baby who was screaming its lungs out. The young child had bright blue eyes and auburn hair, with its fists pretending to punch someone, demanding for someone to pay attention. There was no sight of a nurse at all in the large room.

But it was this one baby closer to the window, right in front of them, that piqued her interest. Barely noticeable if not practically nonexistent brown hair sat on his head. Wearing nothing but a diaper and a blue blanket. Big, sad, eyes stared up at her, letting out small whimpers and occasionally cried out, like it was hungry.

Spencer groaned in annoyance. Where in hell were the nurses? Just what were these fine and usually hardworking ladies doing?

"They're all so cute and adorable, don't you think?" Emily gushed. _'Of course she would squeal at these little monsters.'_ Spencer thought bitterly, although deep down she found herself agreeing with her.

"Yeah," she snorted, "When they're asleep."

"Oh, c'mon! That's too much even for you. You're telling me you never gave it a thought?" The raven haired woman asked curiously, nodding towards the babies before rolling onto her side to face her companion.

"Wha- are you insane?!" Spencer shrieked, visibly appalled and more than just slightly horrified at the mere suggestion. "God, no."

"Why not? I can see it… you, kids."

"Really?" The brunette turned to face the other woman as well, her usual playfulness whenever she interacted with her friend gone now. "Do I look like parent material to you?" She arched an eyebrow in skepticism.

"Why do you always do that?" Emily frowned, and for a moment she seemed surprised by the breathiness of her tone, as she had probably intended the word to come out more sternly, and not like the soft, almost pleading whisper that it was. "Why do you have to be so harsh with yourself? Honestly Spence, one thing I know for sure is that, most of the times, you're your own worst enemy."

"If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. Works even better when the parties overlap, don't you think?"

Emily regarded the woman before her eyes in silence, not at all put out by the comeback. They had known each other long enough that she has learned on the beat when and how she could push her friend's buttons and actually get somewhere, and when it was time to give up and simply let her be.

"Whatever." She exhaled the breath she had been holding. "As much as I would like to stay and continue our lovely chat, my break's almost over and I promised a patient to stop by before her surgery. Buuut," She drawled out before leaving, "be aware that you're not off the hook yet."

"Uh?" Spencer glanced sideways at her as she also started to head off towards the elevator on the other end of the hallway.

"There's this Halloween festival that Alison wants to check out so…"

"So you want to drag me along and spend the entire day with you two lovebirds feeling like a third wheel? No way."

"Better than pass your time reading Sun Tzu on a Friday night. For the ninth time."

"Debatable."

"Still not happening. Sorry, orders from above…" Emily said with a slight cringe, reminiscing the no-nonsense tone with which Alison practically commanded her to persuade the brunette to tag along.

Spencer shook her head sadly. "Man, you're so whipped."

"Yeah," Emily concurred. There was no way to deny it. "When it comes to her and her wrath, I defy anyone."

They both shivered at this, Spencer stepping inside the elevator while the pediatric surgeon stood in front of her.

"Anyway, see you on Friday Spencey." Emily waved her hand excitedly, a goofy grin on her face.

"WAIT! I NEVER AGREED IN THE FIRST PLA-" The doors of the elevator closed abruptly, effectively cutting off Spencer's complaints. The exasperated doctor groaned and fought the urge to slam her million dollar worthy hand against the hard surface of the wall on her side; just then, she felt the phone buzz with an incoming text.

 _10:23 A.M. EMILY FIELDS: '3 PM sharp at our place, we're taking your car. And dress nicely: you never know who you're going to bump into. ;)'_


	9. The dreaded Halloween Fest

"Aria, I am begging you. Caleb and I are hanging on by a thread lately, and I needs this weekend to be awesome so I can prove to both of us that we can make this whole long distance thing work." Hanna whispered harshly as the brunette only half listened to what she was saying, her mind mostly focused on her current publishing project.

"I still don't see why I need to join." Aria replied thoughtlessly, the highlighter skimming over every two sentences of the piece she was reviewing. The couch dipped and the papers were sent flying everywhere as the blonde half-laid next to her, essentially demanding her best friend's attention.

"Look Ar, we've always had each other's backs, haven't we?"

Aria lifted her right eyebrow up at the rhetorical question – that sounded more like a statement than anything else - thinking back to their high school's years, when they would throw _anyone_ under the bus if it meant helping a friend in desperate need. Hanna smirked at the small brunette facial expression, the both of them no doubt remembering the actual physical fight they got into with some college girl and her mean friends when the bitch in question would not leave Aria's boyfriend alone.

' _What was her name again? J something… Jessie? Jaqueline? Ah, Jackie! Jackie Molina. Ew, that's not even a cute-girl name. I could still see big pores and mousy roots.'_ Hanna grimaced at the thought.

"The point is, when it mattered we've always been there for each other. And right now, it really really matters. I promised Caleb this weekend would be just like old times and old times include you and the guys. But Mona already ditched us, and-"

"I get that." Aria interrupted, rolling over and pushing herself up into a sitting position before continuing, "It's just…" She looked down at her lap, a hand resting on her still flat stomach, "It's just that this is more of a couple thing. I don't want to intrude and be the third wheel."

That was a lie. Or a partial truth; Aria had always enjoyed being included in her friends' plans and lives. And now more than ever, such a request actually made her feel less lonely. But she would never admit that to anyone. There was no way she would tell her friends just how hard of a time she was having as of lately, especially now that she has started manifesting the first typical symptoms of her pregnancy and was trying to adapt and cope with her mood swings and raging hormones. And the worst part was, she felt completely alone.

There was just no way she could tell her friends all of that. They would undoubtedly worry or even feel guilty, and she did not want that. Like she didn't want nor could she stand their pity looks.

Well, _that_ and she was not particularly fond of this new 'adventure' her stubborn friend was trying to talk her into for the last two hours or so. Despite how much fun she promised it will be.

' _Yeah, terrific.'_ Aria sarcastically thought.

"You know you can always join in." Hanna teased with a wink and a cheesy grin.

The brunette's eyes widened and she lightly swatted her arm while shaking her head both in amusement and disapproval. Her best friend could be such a perv sometimes. "No, thank you."

"Right, I almost forgot you're not into that kind of things." Hanna giggled and exhaled loudly. "Being all about romance and star-crossed lovers and whatnot…" She added, all mocking sing-song voice and dreamy eyes.

Aria was just about to smack her again when the door opened and Caleb re-entered her living room.

"Whatcha gals talking about?" He asked as he took a seat at the desk chair.

"Nothing, did you get to fix the laptop?" Aria quickly replied, really hoping Hanna would drop the topic and think of something better to do for the night.

"Oh yeah!" The tech-boy exclaimed happily. "It was hard work, but ultimately the good guys won. Although, wow... the things I found in there…" He smirked, his tone ominously suggestive.

Aria frowned in confusion, while Hanna's ears perked up, absolutely intrigued, and grinned mischievously.

"I am sure I don't know what you're talking about." The petite woman stated adamantly.

"Uh-uh." Caleb's eyes twinkled. "Hey, I'm not judging you. Just saying I never pegged you as one for BDSM or hardcore. I mean, there were things in there that actually scarred me for life. But to each their own, I guess."

"WHAT? OMG, OMG, .GOD!" Hanna shrieked, jumping up on her feet and clapping her hands excitedly. "What did you find? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Caleb couldn't contain himself anymore and burst out laughing, both at his lover's childlike reaction and at the blank expression on their petite friend's face.

Then a cushion hit his face violently.

"You're such a jerk!" Aria cried out. "You scared me! I can't believe I almost bought it." She muttered angrily.

"Wait," the blonde stopped all her movements and pouted, visibly disappointed. "It was just a prank?"

"Of fucking course it was, Hanna!" Again a fuming Aria cried out.

"Oh." Hanna mumbled, then turned to Caleb with an appreciative grin. "Well played, babe. Well played."

"Thanks, baby." The boy winked and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, speaking of being scared…" Hanna drawled out as she snuggled closer into her boyfriend's side; "Our little vixen here was just telling me about this awesome Halloween festival being held on the outskirts of town. There's a haunted house, hayride, corn maze, the whole deal." That was most definitely a lie. Well, part of it. There _was_ a Halloween festival going on during the weekend, but Aria never mentioned anything and was actually planning on steering clear of it when Hanna, all of her own, had brought it up, right after Caleb left the room hours ago to work his magic on the brunette's malfunctioning laptop.

"Sounds good!" Caleb smiled. "It's just the three of us? Kinda reminds me of the good old times." Hanna nodded happily as they moved to grab their coats. Aria just sighed, eventually giving in to the inevitable.

"Yep, just like old times…" She said with a forced smile.

…

 **[Later that day, somewhere near Connors Farm in Danvers, Ma]**

Spencer's car bumped down the unpaved road. It was a foggy night and she had to lean forward, close to the windshield, and squint her eyes to make out the road signs ahead. The Halloween festival was an annual event held at a busy pumpkin patch. She didn't drive out in farm counties very often and the streets were unfamiliar.

"You guys realize that this is how scary movies start, right?" Alison announced from the passenger seat. "Three luscious, eligible young women on an abandoned county highway take a wrong turn and get cannibalized by a family of inbred hillbillies."

"I can't say I watch too many scary movies." Emily replied. "I guess I don't see the point of getting scared on purpose."

"Woah, woah, woah. Wait a moment, _Bravehearts._ " Spencer, who up until then had been silent, interjected, as she pulled the car into a makeshift parking lot in a harvested cornfield. "Wasn't coming here another one of your brilliants ideas to begin with?"

"We'll have to have a movie marathon." Alison suggested with a bright smile, completely ignoring her cousin. "I'll introduce you to all the classics: _Friday the 13th, Night of the Living Dead, The Shining."_ she ticked off. "And don't even get me started on Hitchcock films."

"Sure, why not." Emily enthusiastically replied. She had a gut feeling that the words 'marathon movie' actually stood for 'heated make-out session with my hot girlfriend' anyway. And if she was lucky enough – and she usually was – things could turn out even better than her actual expectations.

"What about next Thursday? We should not be on call during the week-end. We can do this at Spence's place, since she has that large, fancy plasma of hers."

' _And the mattress of the bed in her guest room is so comfy, too.'_ Emily internally gushed; there was no way she could actually voice that thought.

"Alright, it's settled then." Alison quickly agreed, totally disregarding the other brunette's _possible_ opinion on the matter. "By the way, thanks for your hospitality Spence. You're such a sweetheart." The blonde cooed, shamelessly batting her eyelashes.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Spencer muttered as she parked and hastily exited the vehicle.

Scattered hay crunched under her boots. Pumpkins, or rather jack-o-lanterns, illuminated the path. Even though it was four days away from Halloween, most of the little kids in the park were dressed in costumes and some adults were too. There was a lot of confusion all around, but it was actually kind of nice having so many families milling around.

"This is amazing." A little girl's voice rang out, pulling the brunette from her musings. "Candied apples, apple cider, apple _donuts._ "

Spencer shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her leather jacket and appraised the crowds. She hadn't been to a fall festival in years. Her parents were always so busy and they never really cared for such amenities; they hardly did any of their old traditions anymore.

She stopped walking, glanced over her shoulders at the women behind her and subconsciously smiled softly at the sight: the two were holding hands, their eyes only for each other.

She remembered someone telling her once _'You recognize true love when you see it.'_ Indeed.

They were a picture of happiness. And Spencer couldn't be more glad, feel more proud.

"Hey lovebirds!" She called out to her family and gestured around. "So, where to first?"

Emily paused as she warily eyeballed a sign for a haunted house. She knew it wouldn't be too scary because of the family atmosphere, but her scarce experience with B-rated horror movies told her it was the exact kind of environment a serial killer or one of his accomplices would likely be hiding in wait.

She sincerely hoped Alison wasn't a fan of haunted houses like she was of scary movies.

"Do you think we could carve a pumpkin?" The blonde asked buoyantly, much to the other women's surprise.

Relief washed over Emily and she felt the urge to lean in and kiss her lover soundly on the lips.

Spencer rolled her eyes at the display of both affection and cowardice. She removed her hands from her jacket and wiggled her long, dexterous fingers in front of them.

"You do remember that Em and I are surgeons and we handle sharp objects for a living, right?" She remarked arrogantly and with a sinister glint in her eyes. "Although my skills are way out of her reach."

Alison groaned while Emily merely rolled her eyes and huffed. "Really Spence? Really?"

"What?" The tall brunette frowned, not having a clue as to why her cousin seemed so frustrated with her.

"We're going to carve pumpkins, Spence. Not playing Operation." Emily tried to explain with her usual calmness. "There's no need to be so competitive."

"You're so not going to make a contest out of this." Alison started to gritted teeth. "Or God help me, Spencer Hastings. Have I made myself clear?"

Spencer gulped. "Yes, ma'am."

…

 **[Meanwhile…]**

With a significantly higher spirit than when they left Aria's apartment, the mentioned brunette along with her friends pulled into the parking lot - which was actually just an open field - and Hanna, being her usual impulsive self, immediately jumped out of the car before Caleb even had it fully halted in place.

"What do you want to do first, babe?" Caleb asked as he walked around the car to stand next to his girlfriend, while Aria followed closely behind them.

Hanna scanned the festival for the best activity to start out their evening. Her line of vision stopped on a line of people outside an old wooden house nearest the entrance. The young woman turned to her companions with a wide smile on her face that immediately made Aria feel queasy.

"Let's go to the haunted house!"

Caleb grinned at the suggestion and grabbed his girlfriend's hand, intertwining their fingers. The smaller girl felt her pulse rapidly increase as Hanna looped her available arm through hers, and the threesome began the journey to what Aria was sure would be their inescapable doom.

It was not that the brunette lacked courage (at least that's what she told to herself) or didn't have an appreciation for this particular holiday and all the things Halloween-related. She'd just never fully understood the fascination with being frightened half to death. She did enjoy horror movies and spooky stories from time to time, but creepy guys dressed up as killers stalking you in the middle of nowhere? That was definitely not her cup of tea.

The problem was that her friends would never stop teasing her if they knew that most of her animosity towards the holiday was due to irrational fears. For some reason, she legitimately believed that the things she saw in scary movies could actually happen in real life. It was completely crazy, a fallacious argument, but she couldn't help it: even the simplest creepy clown would give her the shakes and have her checking around every corner to make sure her house was safe.

Hiding those fears from her closest friends throughout high school was not an easy job at all; whenever her clique was invited to one of those Halloween parties, she kept repeating herself that she had to essentially 'suck it up' and 'act like a big girl.' She spent four years making sure they all remained clueless about this little secret of hers, and she intend to keep it that way, or else all her efforts would have been wasted.

"Are you sure Han? Perhaps we should start off with something a little less…" Aria trailed off, trying to find the right word so she wouldn't sound like a panicky five year old.

"Scary?" The blonde finished her sentence, her brow raised. Damn her for being spot on. Caleb also turned to glance at her through her peripherals, obviously interested in her response.

"No. Just, um… you know, I think we should work our way up to it. Build up the tension. Everything else will seem lame if we do the haunted house first."

' _There.'_ Aria congratulated herself. _'That definitely seems like an acceptable excuse. Maybe while we visit the other booths, I can sneak away pretending I saw someone that I know and get out of this madness.'_

"There's still the hayride and the corn maze. Those should be pretty _thrilling_ too." Hanna interjected, her emphasis on the word thrilling and the tiny smirk on her lips didn't sit well in Aria's gut. But she ignored her cues for the moment, focusing her attention back on the most reasonable of the two: Caleb.

"What about the pumpkin carving or…" Aria peeped around the nearest booths to find another tame activity, "face painting? I bet Han would look adorable with a pair of kitty whiskers."

The young man seemed to mull over the suggestion. He looked at the face painting booth pensively before glancing over his shoulder to the haunted house.

"Nah. Too much kids hanging around there, it's not worth the bother if we're going to get a headache from all that yelling." Caleb replied with a slight frown.

Aria's eyes went wide in anxiety and anticipation when the fearless duo began to drag her over to the entrance of the haunted house. The line was about fifteen people long and they were letting in groups of three to four at a time.

With each step closer to the entrance, the petite brunette felt her skin crawl with an unending itch. She furiously wiped her tiny clammy hands on her jeans, trying in vain to rid them of the accumulating sweat. A loud screech came from the top floor of the house and echoed though the darkness putting her even further on edge.

Before she knew it, there was only a group of four high schoolers standing between them and her impending death. Aria hurriedly tried to think of an excuse that would get her out of such a dreadful situation. She completely zoned out as she ran options and scenarios through her head, when:

"AHHH!" She squealed and jumped as a finger tapped her _lightly_ on the shoulder. She turned to see a familiar manicured hand pulling away from her and slip back into a much larger one as Hanna stared at her with furrowed eyebrows and her ever present smirk.

"Jesus, Ar. Jumpy much?"

"What? Nah…" Aria waved a hand in the air dismissively, trying – and failing - to maintain her composure and play it cool. "You just startled me, that's all."

"Uh-uh." Hanna's grin widened, annoyingly so. She nudged her tiny best friend forward. "Come on, Lionheart. We're next."

Aria swallowed hard. ' _Oh God. How did I end up in this mess?'_

…

 **A/N: Yeah Aria, how did you get yourself in this predicament? And what is going to happen once you'll get out? Mmh, there's only one way to find out.**

 **NHAlways: Oh my, I am so going to work on a drunk Spencer scene! If I don't find a way to do so during this 'festival arc', I'll certainly try to squeeze her somewhere in the future. Thank you for the suggestion, and for your kind reviews. They make my day!**

 **AliceinChaos: So this chapter was more about what Hanna had in store for Aria, hope it was still entertaining for you. Thanks for reading and for your review!**


	10. Lost and found

Engaging in _any_ activity with one Spencer Hastings and expecting her to not give into her hyper-competitive side was a naïve way of thinking, at best. Especially for someone like Alison, who knew the brunette better than anyone else. Her cousin was a bloodthirsty beast in disguise; she simply couldn't help it. Alison had known the truth all along deep inside, and it was precisely such awareness what pushed the blonde to threaten the woman to hurt her physically if she started something or caused troubles.

For some time things were going smoothly enough and they were having fun. Spencer was at her best behavior: none of her antics, none of her stunts.

But then the unfathomable happened. Who would have thought that the tall brunette would be capable, as they regrettably found out, of turning something as juvenile and silly as carving pumpkins into a slaying match?

Well, they should have known better. Although admittedly _that_ was a tad too much. Even for Spencer.

Agreeing that it was best to drive her away from any kind of temptation, and before an angry crown of parents armed with pitchforks and bats could chase them away, a worn-out blonde and her equally fatigued girlfriend decided that enough was enough and that brunette's shenanigans and her attitude would not be tolerated any further.

Alison and Emily dragged a mildly annoyed Spencer out of the large tent and onto the harvested field before she would make cry yet another child because of 'his poor painting skills and the aimless brush strokes that made his work looking muddy and indecisive' - as she so eloquently put it.

While strolling around the fair in search for some food and a warm beverage, a neon sign caught Spencer's eyes.

 **House of mirrors.**

Spencer stared unfalteringly at the taunting words; it felt like they were mocking her, as a rush of unwelcome memories began to resurface in the depth of her conscience.

 _A little girl with her eyes closed unknowingly walked into an old, dilapidated building. She didn't know why she was listening to what the other children were saying. They sounded like they were stifling their laughter; something was definitely wrong. She could sense it._

 _"Keep going, Spence." Ian, an older boy and one of Melissa's lackey, prompted, and so she continued to walk on blindly._

 _The eleven-years-old girl bumped into a wall, and her eyes snapped open upon instinct. She instantly jumped back when the first thing she was met with was the spitting image of her panicked self._

 _The last time she remembered looking into a pair of eyes that were identical to her own was when her twin was still alive._

 _She and Alex used to play a peculiar game all the time: they would mimic each other's gestures, imitate their speech patterns and attitudes; exchange dresses. Oh, how did they enjoy drive their mother and teachers crazy whenever they behaved that way. But then Alex died and Spencer was left alone._

 _Since that tragic day, Spencer refused to look at herself into a mirror ever again, because whenever she did, she would only be reminded of what she had lost. Spencer could not stand anymore the figure that stood in front of her, boring a hole into her soul with those sorrowful and empty brown eyes, because that figure was not Alex, it was her. And knowing that hurt too much._

 _But now here she was, tricked by Melissa and her friends to wander through this creepy place full of mirrors. Forced into a hopeless illusion._

 _As she stumbled backwards, her back hit something cold and hard; she turned to the other side and found herself face to face with her reflection again. She looked around and only saw a reproduction of her terrified face staring back at her. Her eyes widened with horror soon filled with tears._

 _She frantically searched for a path out, but she was constantly bumping into mirror after mirror. She wanted nothing more than to escape this hell._

 _She felt her chest start to seize up, lack of oxygen caused her to lose her footing. She stumbled about trying to take in deep breaths of air, with no success she felt her airway constrict. As she dropped down onto the floor she saw herself in the reflection…_

 _A lost little girl dropping down onto the floor, her eyeballs rolling back in their sockets._

But that was a long time ago. It had been almost two decades since that day, she had to move forward at some point.

The now grown-up woman pushed her sweaty hands into her pockets and dropped her eyes down to the steps leading to the house or mirrors. The same stupid thought rolling around in her mind. She knew she was digging herself a grave, but really what was the point of hiding away from her fears? She always thought of herself as a coward. It was about time she confronted her problems. Little by little, starting right then.

' _Yeah, it is time to move forward.'_

She drew in a shaky breath and marched forwards.

' _People change. I've changed. It won't affect me - I won't let it affect me.'_

From behind her, standing in line with her girlfriend at one of the many food stands, Alison watched Spencer's every move.

She shot the brunette's retreating back an incredulous look. She felt sudden panic. Her legs started to move on their own and started jogging towards her cousin, leaving a perplexed Emily frozen in place.

' _What the hell are you doing?'_ The blue-eyed blonde was beyond worried.

Soon Spencer entered the small room and disappeared from her sight. Alison picked up her pace and rushed towards her. She weaved her way in and out of all the bodies trying to get to her destination.

Not once did her eyes leave the house of mirrors, wishing that Spencer would just walk back out.

It felt like a whole decade had passed by the time she reached the stairs leading to the house of mirrors.

She ran in without much thought. "Spence?" She called out.

Soon her eyes caught the tall brunette staring at her from all different directions.

She didn't look scared nor worried. Her face wore a calm expression.

Alison couldn't identify the real Spencer, all she could see were reflections.

"Ali? What are you doing here?"

"I-I saw you come in here and I just freaked. Are you ok? What are you doing? You had me so worried. I didn't know what to expect when I came after you." She took a small step closer to one of her cousin's copies.

Spencer's chuckle echoed throughout the small room. "Remember, I told you a while ago that I wouldn't let my fears define me anymore? Well, here I am."

Alison took another step forward, this time with one arm reaching out. "Where are you? All I can see are your replicas." Truth to be told, the blonde was starting to feel claustrophobic. And creeped out.

"When we were kids, my mom – no, _Mary_." Spencer's raspy voice echoed in the dark. "She used to tell us, Alex and I, the same story every night, before tucking us up."

"What story?"

"There are two dogs. Both dogs, at separate times, walk into the same room. One comes out wagging his tail while the other comes out growling. A woman, watching this, goes into the room to see what could possibly make one dog so happy and the other so mad."

"What did she found?" Alison asked.

"A room filled with mirrors." Spencer replied. "The happy dog found a thousand happy dogs looking back at him; the angry dog only saw other raging dogs growling back at him."

"I'm not sure this would qualify as a regular bed-time story."

"Yeah, probably not." Spencer snorted. "Then again, we've never been 'regular' people. Or your average family for that matter."

The blonde managed a small, uneasy smile. There was too much truth in that statement for her to even try to rebuff or brush it off, and she was certain that Spencer wouldn't appreciate that anyway.

"The bottom line's here is," Spencer continued, "what you see in the world around you is a reflection of who you are." Alison seemed to ponder things over.

"What do you see?" She then asked warily.

Spencer smiled slightly but did not reply. An instant later she appeared behind Alison, putting a comforting hand on her back. "Come, I've had enough of this place. I've got what I wanted. Let's get out of here."

That was all she was going to say on the matter, as she guided a frowning albeit mildly relieved blonde towards the exit. The brunette seemed to be just fine, or actually even better than before. She looked serene, at peace even; and that was way more than Alison could have hoped for, at least for the time being.

It was certainly an unexpected yet promising turn of events, to say the least.

"Um…" the taller woman spoke once they returned to the fair, scanning the surrounding area pensively. "Where's Emily anyway?"

Alison looked down at the screen of her phone, then up at Spencer. "At the corn maze, apparently." She replied in a monotonous voice. "And she got lost."

Spencer sighed resignedly. There were just thing that would never change apparently.

"Figures…" she muttered. "C'mon, let's go to the rescue then."

…

 **[Meanwhile, outside the haunted house…]**

"Aria, you okay?! I didn't know what to think when I saw you dashing out of that place, running for your life. You're not hurt, are you?" Hanna said as she gave her a comforting hug, squeezing a bit harder than necessary.

"Oh no, I just really had to pee. Didn't think I could make it through the entire house without using the restroom." The brunette replied confidently, despite the knowledge that it was, in fact, a lame excuse; a plausible one at that, but a meagre pretext nonetheless.

"Right." The blonde drawled out. "And you just happened to have a bladder issue right when the crazy ass chainsaw guy popped out of nowhere and you screamed bloody murder before high tailing out of the house." She smirked knowingly.

"Seems like a pretty convenient time for a bathroom break." Caleb kept his gaze leveled on his tiny friend, waiting for a comeback to deny his words.

Aria inhaled once, choosing to ignore the both of them in the hope that they would just let it drop.

"So where to next?" She asked instead, grabbing them by their arms and leading the group further away from that horrible place and into the festival.

They strolled around for a while through the cramped farm, stopping every now and then at the various stands and boots, before they noticed a small group of people waiting for the hayride - which they found out was actually just a means of transport to the corn maze. They decided to get in line, figuring they could get all the scariest activities done and out of the way first, so Aria bit back her protests and got onto the carriage.

The horse-drawn wagon meandered around the festival before taking the passengers on a path through the woods that led to an open field. The driver dropped them off at the entrance of the corn maze, providing the adventurers with instructions and advising that the correct exit would have a carriage waiting to transport people back to the fair.

It was a lot quieter in the cornfield since they had escaped the hustle and bustle of the carnival, and that created a stark contrast that really only added to the creepiness factor.

"It's kinda spooky out here guys…" Hanna broke the silence as she grabbed Caleb's hand. "There's like nobody out here."

"Well, there are still the people that rode the carriage with us." The man looked around to see that all of their chariot companions had already entered the maze and could no longer be seen. "Or not." He frowned. "Okay, scratch that. We're on our own with this one."

Braving up, the fearless trio entered - Hanna steadily taking her place in the middle, clasping hands with both her boyfriend and her best friend. And for a while everything was fine, they proceeded smoothly through the maze, taking a couple of turns here and there, before they suddenly came upon their first real obstacle: a fork in the path.

"Alright, so: left, right, or straight?" Caleb asked.

"We could all split up and see which path works. I bet you'd love that, wouldn't you Ar?" Hanna immediately quipped with a cheshire grin. The brunette rolled her eyes and reached around with her free hand to smack her lightly on the arm.

"Not as much as you, I'm sure." Aria shot back at her.

"Oh you know what, why don't we just-" Caleb cut the blonde off, his hand clamped over her mouth. He shook his head at his girlfriend while quietly saying, "Han, stop." Hanna huffed but did as she'd been told.

"Let's go left." The young man decided since he got no real help from the other two.

They resumed their walk through the maze with Hanna from then on taking charge and making decisions whenever they were presented with multiple paths to choose. It wasn't until about forty minutes later when Aria started to realize that they had reached the same fork in the road for the fourth time, and they finally noticed that Hanna had chosen the same turn over and over again, Caleb following blindly behind, never questioning her choices.

"I think we're going in circles guys…" Aria pointed out slowly, not wanting to upset anyone on their dubious navigational skills.

"I thought this looked familiar." Hanna frowned in agreement, despite herself.

"Oh come on. We are surrounded by stalks of corn, everything looks familiar." Caleb interjected. "You're doing a great job, babe."

Aria raised her eyebrow at the comment, but decided to not object.

"Maybe we should go right this time…" Hanna mused aloud.

' _Thank God, we might actually get out of here before sunrise.'_ Was what the other two thought.

They started walking down the right trail when a man disguised as a werewolf jumped out of the corn and started howling at them. Aria screeched in surprise and ran back down the path rounding a corner too fast and smacking straight into another body. She fell flat on her arse with a soft thump and couldn't contain a small yelp, convinced that another beast hidden within the cornstalks had jumped her.

She got up quickly and saw that the body she had ran into was _definitely_ not a beast, but a woman about her age or slightly older than her; tall and lean, with long chestnut hair and piercing, annoyed brown eyes.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. A beast came out of nowhere and I was running away and I swear I didn't see you, I'm so sor-" Aria rambled but trailed off when she finally realized who she had bumped into. Her mouth snapped shut as she stared. That was all she could do: stare. Completely enraptured by the sight. She felt like she was under a spell.

"What the hell?!" The woman asked while clutching her sore shoulder - her tone and furrowed eyebrows alerting the smaller brunette that she was not at all happy with the person that had so ungracefully bumped into her.

"Spencer…" Aria whispered breathlessly, completely caught up in the moment. And those eyes. And the husky voice that she wasn't even aware she had missed that much.

Spencer stopped breathing. Her eyes moved from the ground to a pair of lime green/yellowish wedge heels sandals that encased a pair of shapely calves. Moving up from short, fishnet-covered legs that looked more developed than she remembered, she was met with a daring leopard print mini skirt, followed by a light green blouse that Spencer knew was the same shade of green that she would find in those hazel eyes of _hers_.

"Aria?"

The more Spencer took in the younger woman's appearance, the harder she had to try to fight off a smile; the tiny brunette certainly did have a rather unique, bizarre sense of fashion. Stylish, yes, but extravagant nonetheless. It spoke volumes about her personality, and that was the first time Spencer actually realized that.

But before her scrutinizing eyes could look any further, a lump formed in her throat causing her to swallow again. When she did finally face the young woman, she instantly found that pair of sparkling hazel eyes, wide in confusion and amazement.

"Hi." The petite woman said softly. Tentatively.

"Hi." Spencer whispered back.

An awkward silence hung between the two of them as they kept staring at each other incredulously. It had been only two weeks since they last saw each other, though they had been exchanging texts up until a few days before; still, they couldn't help but feel like they hadn't met in years.

To run into each other like that, in a corn maze in some remote farm in outside Boston nonetheless… it was totally unexpected, and they felt somewhat unprepared. Yet, they found themselves delightfully surprised.

"Aria!"

Startled at hearing her name being called, said girl turned her head to see her friends jogging over to where she stood, frozen like a statue, still astonished by the startling meeting.

Hanna reached them, her eyes shifting from one woman to the other. Realizing what must have happened, she bit her lip at the sight trying to contain her laughter.

"Spencer? Hey, fancy seeing you here! I thought you looked familiar." The blonde said after a beat, as she suddenly enveloped the woman into a friendly hug, as if they had known each other forever, and started to bombard her with questions.

Caleb gave the motionless, slightly perplexed woman a once over before quickly glancing back at his gleeful girlfriend and a shell-shocked Aria.

"Um…" He cleared his throat, feeling a tad uncomfortable and left out.

"Oh, right!" Hanna snapped her fingers. "You two have never met before. Caleb, this is Spencer – a surgeon at Mass General. Can you believe that? She looks so young! Anyway, we met her-"

"Hanna."

"What?" She turned her head sharply at Aria.

"You're rambling." Aria responded thoughtlessly, her mind still focused on the look in Spencer's eyes as she gaped at her.

Hanna scoffed. "Right. Sorry. Uh, anyway Spencer, this is my boyfriend Caleb."

"Nice to meet you." The tall woman smiled slightly as the two shook hands.

"Likewise." The man replied cordially. "So, I take it you're also one of us unfortunate lost souls, uh?" He then asked, gesturing helplessly around.

Spencer's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"The labyrinth…" He explained with a sheepish grin. "We've been wandering in circles for ages now."

"Oh." Spencer nodded in understanding. "Um, yeah I guess."

"Oh, well… Do you mind if we follow you?" Hanna jumped in and asked cheerfully, immediately starting off down the path the older woman was on without waiting for a reply. "You look like you might know where you're going."

Though that was not exactly Aria's reasoning for wanting to follow her, the petite brunette silently thanked her blonde companion as she herself couldn't think of a better excuse to prolong her time with Spencer, so she eagerly nodded her head in agreement.

"Sure." Spencer shrugged and offered them a small smile, her gaze lingering on Aria.

They started walking down the path the tall brunette was previously following. As they rounded the next corner, Hanna lightly pushed her smaller friend forward, toward the alluring doctor who stood in front of them with her jaw locked and a pensive expression.

"What are you doing?" Aria hissed into the blonde's ear.

"I thought I saw one of those creepy werewolves and I didn't want you to get stolen by the corn creatures." Hanna replied easily. "Figured Dr. McDreamy here would protect you."

Aria focused her gaze on the blonde, probably trying to comprehend if she was being serious or not.

"What?" Hanna smirked. "Why are you looking at me like I suddenly grew two heads?"

"Whatever you think you're doing, stop it right now. I mean it." The smaller girl shot back with a glare.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Ar…" The blonde smiled sweetly, the most innocent expression on her face.

"Of course you don't."

Hanna grinned. Aria opened her mouth to protest, but her best friend cut her off, "Go talk to her."

Aria's conflicted eyes met Hanna's warm and encouraging ones. She then glanced ahead of her, her gaze staying on Spencer's back for a long while as they continued walking down their path, the brunette seemingly engrossed in her conversation with Caleb. She inhaled and exhaled a few times, slowly, trying to calm her nerves. "Okay. Okay." She held up her hands before dropping them to her lap, smoothing invisible wrinkles from her clothes.

Hanna rolled her eyes at Aria's antics. She observed her tiny friend move forward and approach the taller woman quietly, almost timidly. It was so uncharacteristically for her to behave like a shy schoolgirl.

"Hey" Aria smiled softly as she now walked beside Spencer. "I'm really sorry about earlier. Bumping into you like that…" She started and heard Hanna from a few feet behind them cough ' _literally_.' She shot her friend a much practiced head-bitch glare, though she still couldn't really pull it off like she wanted to.

"I was just a bit startled and then smacking into you added into the anxiety." Spencer turned her head, but she couldn't quite catch Aria's eyes as she kept them focused on the ground.

"Don't worry about it." She replied evenly. Aria looked up to see the doctor gazing at her with eyes much softer than she had even expected. "Halloween not really your thing, uh?" She asked with a kind smile playing on her lips.

Aria shook her head. "That obvious?"

Hanna again snorted from behind them, while Spencer just shrugged before answering, "You came barreling into me with a look of horror on your face muttering about some vampire guy popping out of the field. It kind of gave you away." She chuckled, though it was with no malice and Aria ended up also letting out a soft laugh just thinking about how the situation must have looked to Spencer.

"Actually it was a werewolf, but yeah, I guess that would do it."

"Vampires, werewolves… same old crap." Spencer commented dryly.

"So, um, anyway… You never told me what you're doing here all alone?" Aria eventually managed to ask the one question burning her mind all along. She glanced sideway at the brunette, who looked up from her phone noticing all eyes on her.

Apparently Hanna and Caleb were interested in the reply too.

"It's just that, when you called the other day you never mentioned coming here today…" Aria pressed, her eyebrows scrunched together.

"That's because I really didn't want to come. I tried my best to talk my friends out of bringing me along, but as you can see I haven't had much luck." Spencer explained with a groan. "Actually, I was with Ali, my cousin. We were looking for her girlfriend who ditched us, came here on her own and ended up getting lost in the maze. Next thing I know, I also got separated from Alison, so I began searching around for the two of them. And of course there's no cell service out here."

"I'm sure you'll reunite with them soon." Aria squeezed Spencer's arm comfortingly.

"Yeah, well… for now, I'm glad I found you." The taller woman smiled softly and bumped her shoulder lightly with the dark-haired girl.

"Oh no, _I_ am glad you found us!" Aria reiterated, and on an impulse she grabbed Spencer's hand, holding it tightly. "Bumping into you like this – it has to be a miracle. Or fate, I don't know. All I know is that we actually have a chance now to make it out of this goddamn place."

Spencer halted in her tracks, staring down at their clasped hands and frowning slightly. She didn't know why something so simple was affecting her so much.

"I think you're giving me too much credit, Aria." She murmured quietly.

"What was that?" So quietly indeed that the petite brunette didn't hear her, apparently. "Hey, c'mon now: we're team Sparia!"

"Come again?" Spencer asked with a raised eyebrow. "Team Sparia?"

"Exactly." She nodded happily. "As in Spencer and Aria, see what I mean?"

"Uh-uh…" The doctor smiled, still a little perplexed.

"You always gotta trust your teammates, Spence. And I happen to trust you and your navigational skills."

"Hey guys, sorry to interrupt such a wonderful bonding time but…" Hanna suddenly jumped in front of them, effectively ruining whatever moment the pair was having. "I'm getting rather chilly – and I'm not talking about just the weather, if you know what I mean. So less talking and more getting Hanna out of here, alright?"

Spencer shared an amused glance with Aria and they both chuckled. "Your wish is my command. I'm starting to get hungry anyway. Come on, let's go." She said, tugging on the smaller brunette's hand and intertwining their fingers together. She felt Aria squeeze back as they started walking again.

It was just a hold of hands, but… she didn't know how to let go. Even if for a fleeting moment, even if it was just a miniscule comfort in this world, that simple gesture was enough. As a matter of fact it was exactly what she needed to patch up the hollow in her chest. Ever so slightly.


	11. Fluttering feelings

**A/N: Hello there. Sorry for the delay (again)! This chapter took me longer than I expected, and differs quite a lot from my original plan. I don't know how I feel about it honestly: it's rather fluffy and occasionally silly, BUT it represents a turning point in the plot. All in all I'm satisfied with the result and I hope you will appreciate it as well. As always, thank you for reading.**

It took a while, and quite the effort, but eventually they made it. And by the time they exited the corn maze, mostly thanks to Spencer's navigational skills, they even managed to reunite with Alison and Emily, who Spencer discovered – much to her dismay and the others' amusement – that they sneaked off and had been hiding in a dark and secluded corner of the maze the whole time, making out like two schoolgirls in heat.

The interesting thing was that, apparently, their hormone-driven behavior actually bought them brownie points with Hanna, who was the first one among her group to warm up to the couple. The three of them – Hanna, Alison and Emily – hit it off right away and quickly formed their own clique, distancing themselves from the others. A gaping Spencer watched the scene unfold before her eyes, astonished and impressed with the blonde's amicability and bubbly attitude; Caleb and Aria, on the other hand, shared a knowing smile: Hanna had always had a way with people.

As the carriage pulled up to take the adventurers back to the festival, Aria realized with a small frown that she and Spencer were left behind by the others. If she didn't know any better she would have thought that a certain someone was trying really hard to get her alone with the stunning taller woman.

But she did know better, and she shrugged off the thought. _'Must've been imagining things,'_ she said to herself with a shake of the head.

Spencer glanced at her curiously, she noted, as they both took a seat next to each other on the left side of the cart, while the other two couples plopped down across from them, still completely absorbed in their conversation.

More people got on the wagon, forcing Aria and Spencer to shift and readjust their positions. Aria could feel a familiar tension rising between them as their legs grazed each other's every so often from the coziness of their seating arrangement. It was possibly the closest she had been to another human being in months, and it was admittedly a nice feeling. A _really_ nice feeling.

Her eyelids slid close on their own volition and her lips curved upwards ever so slightly. She was basking in the comfort of the warmth radiating off of another body. Of being in Spencer's proximity.

Oh, how she had needed it. Craved for it. It had been so cold recently… She had felt so alone…

Her eyes snapped open and she jumped out of her seat.

Maybe because of her sudden realization, though she suspected it had more to do with the wagon bumping brusquely on the uneven ground. One or the other, Aria found herself dangerously suspended in midair, and for a fraction of a second she felt delirious in her flight.

Then, a pair of toned arms encased her from behind, holding her gently but firmly and bringing her back to her designated spot. Aria's breath hitched.

"You okay?" Spencer asked, the softness of her tone matching that of her concerned gaze.

Aria opened her mouth, trying and miserably failing to say something in response, but her voice dyed somewhere in her throat. All her mind and her eyes could focus on were the other woman's delicious appearing lips as they moved rapidly and with increasing urgency, uttering words that her brain could not register, for it short-circuited the moment she had felt Spencer's touch.

It didn't take long for all her blood to rush right there on her cheeks, where Spencer's hands had been just a moment before and where her skin still burned. She felt a little like dying, either from embarrassment or from the pounding of her heart against her ribcage; and yet, at the same time, she had never felt more alive. Every fiber of her body danced, every nerve tingled with a newly-found awareness.

She, Aria Marie Montgomery, was insanely attracted to 5'8'' tall, exquisitely edgy, positively gorgeous, adorably stubborn, cynic and at times rather intense, doctor Spencer Hastings.

' _Wow.'_ She was having a hard time to process everything, and all that ruckus surrounding her was certainly not helping matters.

"Aria!"

"Hey, Aria. You still with us?"

' _So this is what was going on all along? When did I start having these feelings?'_

"Aria please, say something!"

' _WAIT, WHAT?! Feelings? Who said anything about feelings? I mean, I do like her but-'_

"EARTH TO ARIA! HELLO!" Hanna, having had enough of being blatantly and oh so rudely ignored, jumped in front of her, frantically waving her hands in the air. "IS THERE ANYBODY HOME?"

Aria blinked.

"Uh?" Was her only reply.

' _Ugh, seriously? Way to go Aria! You look like a moron.'_

Five people exchanged extremely wary glances. Some of the other passengers observed with barely disguised curiosity the bizarre scene.

After a long minute of silence, Hanna let out a loud sigh and shrugged her shoulders. "Well, at least she's still breathing and alive. Her neutrons seems intact."

"Um… what?" Emily asked, genuinely perplexed.

"I think she meant to say neurons." Spencer supplied from her crouched position, right in between Aria's parted legs. The petite brunette's eyes widened, realizing only then the position they were in. "Hey there munchkin," she squeezed her knee. "It's good to have you back."

"Ah, I…" Aria started tentatively, not really sure of what to say. "I'm… sorry? I'm not really sure what's gotten into me…"

"Yeah, I noticed." Spencer chuckled. "You space out a lot, did you know?" She asked with a playful grin, and Aria was too mesmerized to bother refuting the statement.

"C'mon," the woman suddenly stood up and offered the still dazed girl her hand. "Our ride's over."

Aria looked at her questioningly and Spencer gestured vaguely around. Just then the carriage slowed down to a halt at the drop off location on the outskirts of the festival. The smaller brunette accepted the offered limb and the two of them hopped off the back and onto solid ground, where their friends were already standing and waiting for them – Hanna and Alison with a sinister glint in their eyes and a conspiratorial smirk.

She fought off a shiver, though it probably had more to do with the sensation evoked by Spencer's brushing thumb over her knuckles rather than the newly formed 'scary duo' staring.

"So, I guess that's it…" Spencer mumbled bashfully. "It was nice meeting you all. Unexpected but nice…" She continued lamely and a little unsure. Aria felt utterly deflated, disappointed and more than a little conflicted: on one hand she wanted so badly to throw her arms around the taller woman's neck and hold her in place; on the other hand, all those thoughts and urges she started to feel towards the beautiful doctor scared her. But before her mind could start to analyze why she was feeling so unsettled, it was already occupied searching frantically for an excuse, anything that would prolong her time with Spencer, if only for a little bit.

"Hey, hey… don't tell me you want to call it a night already?" Hanna interjected, a childish pout on her face. "I'm starving, and Alison here was just telling us how thirsty she is. Right Em?" She nudged the unsuspecting taller woman, who frowned at first but then recovered when her girlfriend send her a glacial glare. She nodded her head in agreement, probably too much enthusiastically to be actually believable. Nonetheless, Aria felt a surge of affection for them all, and silently thanked God for her blonde friend.

All of a sudden her odd behavior and total lack of subtlety did not bother her so much. She couldn't be mad at her when she had just come up with a perfect excuse to spend more time with Spencer.

"We agreed to go grab some dinner, you're joining us right?" Hanna's angelical smile turned evil when she glanced over at her boyfriend, who had been fiddling with his phone up until then. "Caleb's buying." Hearing his name, said boy looked up from his phone noticing all eyes on him.

"What?" He asked, his eyebrows scrunched together.

"Oh, that's so nice of you. Thanks." Aria quickly replied with a grin.

"Well, since you apparently have already decided…" Spencer trailed off. "I'll take you up on your kind offer. Thanks Caleb." She directed an appreciative smile at the boy.

"Wait!" He exclaimed, his eyes darting from Hanna to Spencer before landing back on his girlfriend. "I don't understan-"

"Shh," Hanna coaxed sweetly. "It's alright babe. I'm hungry, so you get to pick where we are going to eat."

"Oh, alright then." The young man shrugged. "We could go to that Italian place you're always blabbering about Ar. You know how Han loves her breadsticks."

Hanna let out a short laugh, "Damn straight."

"Wait, you wouldn't mean Gino's, would you?" Spencer asked. It was a well-known restaurant, not too distant from the farm actually.

"Yeah, is that okay with you?"

"Definitely. I love their stuffed ravioli." She replied with a whimsical smile, patting her flat belly for emphasis and eliciting some chuckles from the others.

"Alright, Gino's it is then." Hanna stated as they began to make their way through the festival towards the parking lot on the opposite side. It turned out that they parked fairly close when they arrived earlier in the day.

Since they drove separately to the festival, they decided to just meet at Gino's.

When they arrived, they got settled at a booth table near the back of the restaurant, and of course both the official couples slid into their respective side of the booth, leaving Aria and Spencer with no option but to sit right in the middle, and very, very close to each other. Not that Aria complained, by any means. But as if she was not feeling flustered enough already, Spencer's elbow kept grazing hers as they looked through the menus. Although Aria already knew what she was going to order… still, she had to do something to keep her mind off of how close she was to Spencer and the lovely smell of lavender that came with her presence.

"What can I get you to drink?" A waitress asked as she appeared at their table not a moment too soon. Aria shuffled a little, putting a little distance between herself and Spencer as subtlety as she could, trying to keep herself from 'inadvertently' sniffing her hair.

' _Okay, that was awkward. And when did I start acting like a creep, exactly?'_

"A Martini, please. Shaken, not stirred." Emily replied with a lopsided grin and in an overly exaggerated British accent. Spencer and Caleb both snorted in unison at that.

And at the blank stare the waitress was giving her.

"What are you, James Bond?" The boy sniggered.

"Yeah," Spencer followed suit, tears pooling in her eyes. She straightened her posture, a solemn look on her face, and cleared her throat, "The name's Fields. Emily Fields."

Caleb and Hanna cracked up, and even Aria, though initially fighting against the smile tugging at her lips, ended up giggling at her antics.

' _And here I thought I was being a freak… These people are nuts.'_ The petite brunette shook her head affectionately. Seriously, it had been so long since she had laughed like that. Since she had felt so good and carefree. For the first time in a while, she was honestly enjoying herself, and she owed that to her friends and to Spencer.

"Hey!" Emily cried out indignantly. "I was just tryin' to be, um… charming. Yeah." She obstinately and a little childishly crossed her arms over her chest.

That elicited another series of snorts and laughter.

"Oh yeah, real charming Em."

"Try again, dork."

"Okay, you know what? Why don't ya – Ouch!"

"Oh for the love of God…" Alison groaned through gritted teeth while delivering a devastating kick to her girlfriend's ankle. Always an effective method to shut someone up. She turned to look at the poor waitress, who was giving them all bewildered stares, "Please don't mind them. If it's alright with you I think we're ready to order." She added, the menu still unopened in front of her.

"O-okay…" The flabbergasted teenager stammered. "What can I get you?"

"I'll have the stuffed ravioli with chicken." Spencer answered as she finally managed to collect herself.

"Um, I'll also have the stuffed ravioli. With mushrooms if possible." Aria said softly.

"Alright." The redhead smiled a little at who seemed to be the most level-headed one of the group. And that was saying something. "And for you two ladies?" She then asked, turning her attention to Alison and her definitely not charming yet humorous girlfriend.

"Um, I'd like your spaghetti. Without the meatballs." Emily made a face, and Spencer lost it, snickering at Emily's dislike of meatballs. Her friend decided that ignoring her would be the best policy. "And this beautiful lady would like your lasagna." She looked instead at her pissed-off girlfriend, trying desperately to make up for her previous slip. Luckily for her Alison nodded, albeit curtly, in approval. Next up were Caleb and Hanna to place their orders.

"Emily, are you a vegetarian?" Aria naively asked, positively impressed that someone else at their table shared her beliefs. Spencer couldn't hold back on her laughter this time, while Alison tried to kick her under the table but ended up colliding with a table support beam.

"More like a vag-" Her second blow however hit its mark and sufficed to shut her cousin up immediately. Aria tilted her head and glanced oddly from Spencer to Emily and Alison, waiting for an answer or explanation.

"No, I'm not a vegetarian." Emily answered with a warm smile. Though they didn't interact much throughout the evening, she had noticed two things about the small brunette sitting on her left side: she was an honest-to-God sweet girl, and she was genuinely smitten with Spencer. In her book, that was enough of a reason to like her already.

"I believe my _lovely_ cousin was being her usual facetious self," Alison cut in on their conversation, her tone slightly venomous. "And hinting at Em's sexual preferences."

"Oh, I see…" Aria nodded in understanding and returned Emily's smile before glaring sideways at Spencer. "Not cool, Spence. Not cool." She chastised.

Spencer had the decency to look sincerely mortified as she mumbled something vaguely similar to an apologize – too stubborn to even think of doing it properly. She looked like a scolded little puppy, and while Alison and Emily simultaneously rolled their eyes and fought off a knowing smirk, Aria nearly let out a squeal at the adorableness of the sight.

' _Okay, this is getting too much, too fast. Keep it together, Montgomery.'_

' _They're not even dating yet and she's already whipped. HA! Look who's ridiculous now, Hastings!'_ Emily grinned proudly to herself.

' _She's making dumb faces again…'_ Alison groaned and her elbowed her girlfriend. Hard.

"So Aria," The blonde started, and the younger woman turned her head slightly to look at her. That sinister glint in her eyes from before returned. "Hanna earlier mentioned that you have an appreciation for art?"

"Yeah," her voice cracked unpleasantly so she took a drink of water before continuing. "I guess you could say that. My dream as a child was to become a professional dancer. Then my teacher made me realize that I hadn't the physique du role, so I started looking into other stuff such as painting and photography."

"What a bitch!" Spencer frowned angrily, eliciting a goodheartedly giggle from Aria, who reached out with her hand and squeezed her forearm in a placating manner.

"It's okay. She was right anyway."

"Still…" The taller brunette grumbled.

This caring side of Spencer was new to her, and Aria found herself liking it immensely. As a matter of fact, despite the silliness of the conversation she was touched by Spencer's protectiveness.

"I think your story hit too close to home, right Spence?" Emily smirked.

"What do you mean?" Hanna suddenly butted in. Not that Aria minded, her interest had also been piqued.

"Well, you see… Our Spencer here had a dream."

"And now you make me sound like Martin Luther King. By the way, what's with you and iconic characters of the last century tonight, Fields?" Spencer quipped, and the others chuckled.

Emily threw her a dirty look, to which the other woman responded with a glare of her own.

"Children, behave." Alison warned in a reprimanding tone. Thankfully there were actual adults ready to intervene to dissipate the tension.

"So? What you wanted to do when you were a kid?" Aria focused her attention back to Spencer, growing impatient with each seconds passing by.

"I wanted to be an architect. Or an interior designer." Spencer sighed. "But I also had someone who 'strongly discouraged' me from pursuing my dream career, to put it mildly."

"I mean, he did have a point." Alison interjected. "Remember the draft you submitted for his class?"

"Yeah…" Spencer answered dejectedly.

"Aw, I'm sure it wasn't _that_ bad." Aria coaxed as she patted Spencer's back.

Alison snorted. "Not at all. In fact, she even won a contest with that sketch."

"Really?" Aria seemed genuinely surprised at the information.

"Uh-uh." The blonde grinned evilly. "Only, she won it for the wrong category. Our art teacher was so proud of her though. He started calling Spence the new Picasso."

Spencer stared down at the table, sulking and telepathically willing the waitress to bring their food while everyone laughed at her expenses; the only thing preventing her to lash out at her cousin and girlfriend and their incessant teasing was the soothing touch of the younger woman at her side. That tiny, delicate hand from before, in fact, never really left its place on her back; instead, it started drawing lazy patterns in between her shoulder blades.

Practically sensing Aria's eyes on her, and fighting off the purr that threatened to escape her lips, Spencer took a chance and peaked at her through her peripherals. She leaned in closer, the hairs on her neck standing in anticipation. Her mouth so close to her ear, Spencer could feel her breath tickle the sensitive skin there.

"Someday you'll have to show me your masterpiece, Picasso." She whispered just loudly enough for the woman to hear. She then sat up straight, returning to her original position and a wide-eyed Spencer let out a breath that she wasn't even aware she was holding.

"Finally!" Someone, probably Hanna, exclaimed and the brunette's eyes shot towards the blonde, thinking she was in some way referring to them, but the blonde's gaze was on the waitress, who was bringing their meals.

The rest of the dinner passed rather uneventful – the most awkward part was when the waitress came back with the bill and set it in front of the only man at the table. Caleb looked down at the piece of paper with a frown, but he didn't have the time to voice his question that Hanna had already slipped a credit card – _his_ credit card - into the holder and handed it back to the waitress with a wide grin. Before he could mumble a protest she reached out and pecked him on the lips. He shook his head, resigned, and the others smirked and thanked him for his generosity.

"Next time is on me." Spencer promised while they walked out of the restaurant.

Those words left Aria with an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach, similar to the one she had experienced back at the festival: a mix of anxiety, dread because she was not ready for her time with Spencer to be up; and giddiness because the taller woman had clearly stated that there it would be a 'next time'.

While they approached their cars, Aria was debating with herself if inviting Spencer and her friends to hang out with them, but she wasn't sure what Hanna and Caleb had planned for the night, or if they would be bothered by the extra company. Besides, for all she knew Spencer could already have other plans.

' _Now, what is this pang I just felt?'_ She asked herself when all of a sudden she found it somehow harder to breath. Her throat felt constricted.

"Hey, is everything all right?" Spencer asked, standing in front of her slightly concerned. Only then Aria realized that they were alone in the rather empty parking lot – the others having already entered their respective cars.

"Yes." She replied softly. "I just… my stomach. It must've been something I ate."

Spencer studied her carefully, her scrutinizing, intelligent eyes searching every angle of her face. "Then you should go home. Get some rest. And drink a lot of water!"

Aria bit her lip to restrain a giggle. Instead, she offered one of her sweetest smiles. "Doctors order?"

"Doctors order." Spencer said sternly. Her façade however broke off soon enough. "But if you're in any pain, feel discomfort, or if you need something don't hesitate to call me. 'Key?"

"I'm sure it's nothing worth your time, but thanks for your co-" Aria tried to object, though she really wasn't sure why. There she was, the object of her interest, offering to come to her aid, and she was rebuffing such an opportunity. Luckily for her, Spencer didn't let her.

"Ah-ah! No buts." The taller woman cut her off. "What? Do you think I'd offered if I didn't mean it?" Spencer asked, neither of them sure if it that was a rhetorical question or not. Aria didn't think she would, but one could never be too sure and she had been proven wrong in the past, too many times by so many people. And this thing with Spencer, whatever it was… It was all so confusing.

One thing was crystal clear though: in the short time they spent together between the festival and the dinner, the air between them shifted dangerously. They both could sense it, directly on their skin. After all, as much as they had tried (deliberately or not) all along to ignore the blossoming of certain feelings towards one another, they couldn't deny that peculiar, natural affinity that they had experienced right from the start. Perhaps it all lead it to that.

Perhaps the time had come to sort some things out.

"Listen Aria, I know I have a tendency to come off as…" Spencer licked her lips as she tried to find the right word, "abrasive. Sometimes it's just hard to put yourself out there and meet new people." Aria nodded. She most definitely could relate to that.

"I'm just not very good at…" Spencer trailed off.

"Letting people in?" Aria finished for her.

"Yeah." She replied softly. "But the thing is… earlier, at the festival, I had some sort of epiphany. And it's different. With you, I mean, it's different. _You_ 're different. And…"

"And?"

"And intense. Scary. Preposterous. Addictive. And right about a thousands of other adjectives. It's ridiculous, how much I've come to like you. I'm drawn to you. And I don't know, maybe I'm being foolish, but I really think that there's something going on here. You can slap me and tell me to fuck off right now if I'm wrong, if I'm imagining things… though I really hope you won't."

For a really long time Aria stood there, frozen. She didn't know what to do. What to think or say. She had been under a lot of pressure lately and she was understandably overwhelmed.

How many things could an average person take, all at once?

A dead boyfriend. An unplanned pregnancy. Exhausting sessions of physical therapy to recover after a nearly fatal car crash.

And how many things could an average brain process in less than 12 hours?

Intense mood swings, work-related issues, family issues, an unscheduled visit from two of her dearest friends right when she was at her lowest; the loneliness. The constant feeling of inadequacy. And then a beautiful day spent outdoor; an unexpected meeting, and the subsequent fluttering feelings. The heartthrob, the confusion, the butterflies in her stomach. Tenderness and warmth.

And then she knew what she wanted. What she had to do in order to obtain it.

Her eyes snapped up, shining with a newly-found determination and oh so very eager to find their mates. And when they did, they softened considerably.

"A-a-and I probably shouldn't have said any of that. Shit, I'm so sorry. It's just, I never felt this way before. I thought you should know." Having interpreted Aria's silence as a flat-out rejection, Spencer panicked. "I freaked you out, didn't I? I am so sor-"

An index finger pressed against her lips silenced her. Aria's next whispered words momentarily stopped her heart.

"I feel it too."

Now, now Spencer began to understand what Emily meant whenever she would say that she was feeling all giddy inside – not that she would _ever_ admit that.

"Y-yeah?" She murmured. "Cool."

Aria arched an eyebrow, though she seemed appeased for the moment as she took a step closer to the taller woman, leaving just a few inches of space between their bodies.

"Cool?" She asked, mirth and the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice. "That's all you have to say? And to think that you were being so eloquent just a minute ago…" Her eyes darted between Spencer's own eyes and her lips. "What a shame." She said as she shuffled on her feet.

Spencer's features fell subtly as her shoulders and eyes dropped, her smile fading. Aria was trying to step back and distance herself from her, but Spencer wasn't having any of it. She moved forward to keep the space between them close, and the next thing Aria knew, she was enveloped in a tight embrace.

"Sorry." Spencer husked softly into her ear.

"It's okay." The smaller woman replied sincerely.

"If I were in your shoes, I would've run away already." She chuckled nervously. "But… would you maybe, possibly consider the idea of going out with me sometime?"

She felt the younger woman in her arms tense up and shudder. She clutched both arms of the brunette and crashed their bodies even closer together. Spencer's right hand slipped up to hold soft strands of dark hair and guide Aria's head to rest on her shoulder, as her left arm curved around the waist she had longed to touch. The brunette slowly inched closer to the smaller woman's ear, heart beating hard but quiet, and emotions feeling stronger by the minute.

"Y-you don't have to reply right away. Take your time to think things through! I can wait."

' _For you, I can wait.'_

Two arms snaked up hugging her lower back tightly. Aria adjusted herself so that she could now look into Spencer's eyes tenderly. "Yes."


	12. 22:57

Aria looked at her reflection in the large mirror of her bedroom. Her lips curled up in a satisfied smile, even though it didn't completely reach her eyes. The nervousness she felt prevented her from fully enjoying the moment, from cheering herself up. As a matter of fact, she was even nauseous. She had barely managed to eat her quinoa salad for lunch and she wasn't hungry in spite of it being almost 7pm now.

But she couldn't be sick tonight of all times.

She was perfectly aware that she was still in her first trimester of pregnancy, and that explained the dizziness, fatigue, and a lot of other inconveniences; and yet, she was fairly certain that her queasy stomach had more to do with her impending date with Spencer rather than the tiny human growing inside her womb. At least this time around.

"Why are you so nervous?" Hanna's laugh rose in the master bedroom as she walked in and headed towards the large mirror. "You're as pale as a ghost. Relax! It's just a dinner..."

Aria was pacing and spinning the ring around her finger like her life depended on it; like in just one more twist she wouldn't be so painstakingly anxious.

"Just a dinner." She repeated, running her tongue over her dry lips to moisten them. "Of course." She swept away some invisible dust from her dress with the back of her hand before taking a deep breath. She was too hot and regretted to not have turned on the AC for once. Five more minutes of these uncomfortable sensations and she would begin to think that she actually had hot flashes.

"Ah, first date jitters…" Hanna sighed wistfully, an indulgent smile appearing on her lips at the sight of her flustered best friend. "I almost miss the feeling."

The sweetness of Hanna's tone did nothing to calm her nerves. On the contrary. She turned around sharply and glared at her blonde.

"Well I don't." Aria yelped, and actually stomped her feet. Hanna had to bit hard on her lip to prevent herself from snorting or bursting laughing out loud. The tiny brunette looked like a petulant child.

"At least I don't think so…" Aria then added with a small frown. "Ugh, this is so messed up." She groaned and all but threw herself on her queen-sized bed. To hell the good hour and a half she spent fixing her hair.

"Then why are you doing this?" Mona, that up until then had been silently pondering the whole situation over, suddenly spoke up. "I don't get it."

Aria and Hanna both turned to look at her. "What is it that you don't get?" The brunette asked, perhaps a little too much defensively. She didn't know why as of late she had been so self-conscious about… everything, really.

Mona sighed, not really wanting to start an argument with her friend but feeling the need to point out a few things and voice her doubts and concerns. "You clearly have a lot going on right now. I'm not sure starting a relationship at this point is a wise decision."

"Woah, wait a moment." Aria stopped her friend right there. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves now. Who said anything about a relationship? This is just a date. As much as I like her, there are still too many things we don't know about each other. Things we have to talk about."

"That's another thing." Mona cut her off. "When did you become a lesbian exactly?"

Though her tone lacked malice, the words still came out in a brusque manner. Aria – and Hanna – were taken aback.

"That's it?" Aria asked incredulously. "That is what you're really concerned about?"

"No, Aria." Mona shook her head. She realized a moment too late that she had brought up the subject in the wrong way, and instantly regretted it the moment she noticed how upset the other brunette – and the blonde – were with her now. "That's not it all. I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean?" This time it was Hanna who posed the question.

"It's just…" Mona paused, trying to find the right words this time. A very rare occurrence for the usually eloquent and outspoken woman. "I guess I'm just surprised. And worried." She concluded quietly.

Aria's hardened gaze softened. "I appreciate it. Really, I do. But I'm fine and this is something I want to do. It would've happened sooner or later and, well… I'm glad it happened now. I could've done a lot worse than a hot surgeon, don't you think?"

The three friends shared a look and burst out laughing.

Hanna and Mona looked at Aria, at how her eyes lit up when she mentioned Spencer; at her carefree giggles. It was good seeing their friend like this. After all she had been through, she deserved to be happy. And if this Spencer gal was the person responsible for putting _that_ smile on Aria's face, then they had absolutely no problem with it.

Questions, however… that they had. Especially Hanna.

"Anyway…" The blonde started, hey eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Mona did have a point earlier. What have you been hiding from us, Miss Montgomery?"

' _Oh boy'_ Aria mentally shuddered. She knew that look on her best friend, and it meant troubles. "Uh? What are you talking about Han?" She deadpanned.

"Uh-uh." Mona interjected and shook her head. "Don't even try and play dumb with us, missy. Spill."

"Honestly, guys. I don't know what you're trying to implying…" She looked genuinely perplexed.

"You seem, um, unaffected by the whole same-sex relationship thing, so…" Usually Mona would've be much more directed than this, not really being one to beat around the bush and preferring a more straight-forward approach. It was her policy. But she really didn't want to commit the same mistake as earlier, not now that her friend looked more relaxed and collected and had started to enjoy herself a little. Still, it was frustrating for someone like her.

She threw a helpless look Hanna's way.

"Oh, for God's sake." Hanna groaned in exasperation. "Have you ever slept with another woman?"

"Hanna!" Two voices shrieked in outrage.

"What?!" She shrugged. "You," she said, pointing toward Mona, "were taking too long. And you," this time she faced Aria; "less complaining and more gossiping. So… have you?" She plopped down on the bed and crossed her legs, her face supported by her hands.

Aria's face went completely red as she hesitantly nodded her head.

"What? When?" Mona's eyes widened in surprise.

"Alright," Aria said taking a steading breath. "Alright. You guys remember when Ezra broke up with me the summer before I started college?"

"Yeah…?"

"He said that he didn't want to hold me back and encouraged me to 'go out there' and 'make experiences'. Well, I may have taken his words literally…" Aria trailed off with a small smirk.

"Wow." Mona sounded actually impressed.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Hanna asked. "You know that we would never judge you for something like this. Right?"

"Of course I know that." Aria hurriedly said, hugging her best friend to reassure her. "It's just that there was really nothing to tell. It happened just a couple of times and it meant absolutely nothing."

"But did you like it at least?"

Aria took a moment to consider the question and remember how she had felt at the time. "Yeah." She answered truthfully. "It just felt, I don't know, natural. What struck me the most was the softness of it…"

"Someone had a great time, uh?" Hanna said with a smirk.

"I mean, I was surprised myself at how… fulfilling it could be even without, you know…"

"A penis?"

"Must you always be so crude Han?" Aria rolled her eyes. "But yes. She definitely knew what she was doing."

"Did you two date each other?"

"Nah." Aria replied. "We kept it casual, and it lasted barely a month. I didn't have feelings for her, nor did she had feelings for me I think. We we're just attracted to each other."

"And with Spencer?" Mona suddenly asked. "It's just physical attraction?"

This time, Aria didn't hesitate to give an answer. She had been thinking long and hard about this ever since that night at the Festival, a week or so ago. Actually, even longer if she was honest to herself.

"No." Aria's tone was firm, the smile on her lips tender as she thought about the brunette doctor. "No. It's so much more than that."

That's all Mona – and Hanna, and Aria - had to know for the time being. Ulterior questions and explanations could wait: Aria had an important date to prepare for, and they were there to help.

"Then we have to do something for that hair." Mona said sternly. "It's getting late and you don't want Spencer to see you looking like that."

… **[Meanwhile, at Mass Gen] …**

"I don't know about you, but my day has been one long sprint through hell." Spencer sighed and plopped down on the small leather couch in the attending's' lounge. She closed her eyes and took a deep, deep breath. "Luckily I'm off the clock in half an hour."

And she couldn't wait for her shift to end and her night out with Aria to begin.

A nice man in his early sixties, and the Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery, chuckled. "Same here. These new residents are a bunch of incompetent idiots." He complained.

On that, Spencer couldn't really object. "Don't tell me." She snorted. "But that's what we're here for I suppose. To teach them."

"Right. Hoping all the hard work would pay off in the end." Dr. Edwards agreed. "You know, I still remember how you were when you started your internship." He smiled fondly at the memory.

"Oh no. Please no. Tell me we're not about to take a walk down memory lane." She grimaced. "It wasn't _that_ long ago, after all."

"Thought you knew everything, wanted to do surgeries right away…" He continued, unperturbed by the younger doctor's sarcasm and sass. Almost everyone at the hospital was used to it. "Not so different from everyone else actually."

"Good grief," Spencer exhaled dramatically. "For a moment here I started to worry."

"Now Hastings," the man smirked a little when her pupil's shoulders slumped. "don't be crass. You're skulking. Women of your generation are graceless. It's an affront to nature. You're brilliant Dr. Hastings, and despite your efforts to keep up that façade of yours, I noticed right away the humble heart hidden underneath that tough shell of yours. You have greatness in you, of that I'm sure. Don't disappoint."

All the hilarity from earlier gone, Spencer now stared at him speechless. They had known each other for years now, since Spencer started her residency in Cardio. She respected the man, though in her usual unorthodox way; and she knew that the sentiment was mutual. Still, hearing a legend like him – and one of her mentors – openly expressing his appreciation was… huge.

"Well, I'm heading off." The man then stood up and began to gather his belongings. "Tonight the Bruins play against the Flyers and I just happen to have an extra ticket. Care to join me, doctor?" Edwards offered, knowing his protégée was a hockey fan.

"Ah, I…" Still feeling a little emotional and actually taken aback, Spencer found it difficult to form a coherent sentence. "Um, I'd really like that, but um… I'm afraid I'll have to decline."

"Oh, I see how it is." He replied, his smirk quickly morphing into an understanding and indulgent smile. "And this guy, is someone special?" He asked knowingly.

"Uh… yeah. Yeah, _she_ definitely is."

"Then don't screw up. And while we're at it, stop screwing around too."

"…" A stunned, wide-eyed and lost for words Spencer stared disbelievingly and a little mortified at the older man.

"I mean it. If you think she's worth it then do your best and don't let her go."

"I-"

The door of the lounge room slammed open as a young panicked intern stepped, alarming the two doctors inside of her presence. Spencer turned around expectantly.

"Dr. Hastings, possible cardiac trauma in the field coming into the ER. Three minutes away."

"Let's go! Go, go, go." She whipped around and started running away. A voice called out from behind her back.

"Don't forget to breath, doctor. When you stop breathing, you stop thinking." Was the last advise her mentor gave her before heading off.

The emergency room was busy as always, doctors and nurses tending to various patients.

"What do we got here?" She asked approaching the gurney that was being transported inside the building.

"Skateboarder vs car. Late teens, didn't have ID. The kid was slaloming with his buddy. Was not responsive on the field. His last systolic was 70. Increased heart rate, tachy in the 130s. EKG show some changes so I suspect cardiac trauma." The paramedic informed.

"I need a portable x-ray up here, stat." Dr. Hastings said to the nurses in a voice that effortlessly commanded attention. "I need a 12-lead and let's get a TV by the bedside." She then gestured down to the stretcher. "Alright, ready on three. One, two, three."

They lifted the unconscious body on the stretcher and transferred him on the hospital's gurney.

"Pretty setup. Ok, type and cross for six units." She instructed. "Hang two units of 0-neg as soon as possible."

"Yes doctor."

"What's your buddy's name?" The intern from before asked to the dumbfounded kid that had come in the ambulance along with the patient.

"Rick. Rick Kelly."

"Does Rick have any allergies that you know of? He's got any medications?"

"I-I don't know. I don't think so. Is he going to be okay?"

"We're doing everything we can." Spencer replied. "No breath sounds on the right. Someone set up a chest tube."

"I'm on it."

Spencer nodded to her intern and turned to look at the monitor. "Seems an aortic transection. We need to move fast people."

"He's crashing!" A nurse yelled.

' _No. No no no no._ _Not on my watch. Not again.'_

"Alright. Start preparing the or while we stabilize him. We're running out of time."

"Get a crash cart!"

"Paddles on. Charging 200, clear!"

' _It won't happen again.'_

"Again. Charging 200. Clear!"

' _Goddammit, c'mon Rick. Help me out here dude.'_

"Pressure's dropping. He's coding."

"Charging 300 and… clear! How long's been out?"

"20 minutes."

Spencer dropped everything. "I'm calling it."

The other nurses and interns followed suit. They tried but it was too late.

She casted a glance at the wall clock. "Time of death…"

… **...**

When Aria checked her watch for the fifth time that evening, she noted that Spencer was now nearly two hours late. She sighed both in irritation and realization. She felt angry and humiliated all at once, sure that everyone in the nice restaurant she had oh so carefully chosen for their first date had noticed how her head snapped up every time the door opened. They were certainly eyeing her with pity knowing she'd been stood up.

Still, she reflexively looked over when the door swung in once more, though of course it wasn't her. That's when she decided to spare what little dignity she had left and leave.

Now she was home, in her PJs half asleep on the couch and with a large bowl of ice cream, when suddenly she heard a knock on the door. Reluctantly she stood up to see who it was – though she suspected she knew who it was. Someone she was royally pissed with.

She glanced through the peephole and surely enough, there she stood. Spencer Hastings in all her majestic… tiredness?

God, she looked beaten up.

Not wanting to care but doing it nonetheless, Aria opened the door slightly.

"Spencer." Was all she said, but apparently her glacial tone was enough to make the older woman wince.

"Before you send me away – within good reason, if I might add – I just wanted to say how deeply sorry I am." She started to ramble. "I don't have any excuse – well, not really… I have one, and it is pretty valid too." She frowned, and Aria despised herself for finding it cute. "Ugh, I'm so not good at this."

"What, apologizing?" Aria arched an eyebrow, trying to make her scowl believable.

Truth was, she had forgiven her the moment she had seen Spencer's saddened eyes and a sincere remorseful expression. For lack of a better word, she looked like a kicked puppy. And Aria could feel herself melt at the sight.

"Well, yes." Spencer bowed her head down. "However, that was all. Again, I'm so sorry Aria. I'll understand if you want to call it off…"

The smaller woman didn't respond and Spencer automatically assumed she was being rejected. "Okay then… Good by-"

She was turning around when Aria's voice and her hand on her wrist stopped her from leaving. Spencer took one long look at her, her expression half hopeful, half disbelieving. Then, in a swift movement she hugged the smaller woman tightly – her head resting on Aria's shoulder.

"Let's get inside, then we can talk about it. Okay?" With a gentle tug on her arm, Aria led the distraught woman inside her apartment, closing the door behind them and guiding Spencer to the couch.

Once they sat down, the taller brunette looked up at her with bloodshot eyes that were suddenly full of guilt.

"I keep screwing up." She rasped in a strangled voice. "I-I don't really know why I'm here at all. I mean, you obviously deserve way better than that." ' _Than me_.'

"Maybe…" Aria said as she adjusted her position on the couch and scooted closer to Spencer. "You should let me decide that." She took the other woman's hand and intertwined their fingers, her thumb brushing soothingly over her knuckles.

Spencer shook her head slightly. "Why are you so…"

"So?" Aria prodded.

"… Accepting?"

The smaller brunette let out a short chuckle. "Oh, I'm really not."

The doctor frowned. "You've let me in your apartment even though I stood you up on our supposed first date. Without even contacting you. And now you're even consoling me. How is that not being accepting?" She asked. "Why are you even doing that?"

"What can I say? I must really like you." Aria shrugged. "Look, I was really mad at you. And I would lie if I said that I didn't curse your name once or twice tonight. But I care about you, and something has obviously happened tonight." She pointed out calmly."

Spencer shook her head, about to say more, but she wouldn't let her. Instead Aria smiled, well versed in the ways of stubborn women, considering she was one herself.

"So if you want to tell me, I'm willing to listen. Let me be here for you."

The surgeon gave her a long look, clearly thinking of arguing some more before finally succumbing to Aria's pleading look and her own need to open up.

"I lost a patient." She whispered brokenly. "He… he was involved in an accident. Came in the ER in critical conditions… I-I tried to s-save him. I tried anything I could think of. But h-he… He crashed, and I couldn't reanimate him."

' _Rick. I couldn't save him. Rick… Ezra… I couldn't save them.'_

"Oh Spencer. I'm so sorry." Aria immediately let go of her hand only to put her arms around the taller woman and hold her tightly, thinking she would break down any minute.

But that didn't happen. Not really.

When the silence that had engulfed them stretched too long for her liking, she tilted her head to the side and saw something in the brunette's expression that made concern enter her tired hazel eyes.

"Spence?"

The chestnut haired woman realized she'd been staring at the floor for a long time now and looked up, searching Aria's face.

"Aria, there's something you should know. Something I should've tol-mmph."

A pair of soft lips – the softest and sweetest Spencer has ever tasted in her entire life – pressed against hers and the rest of her sentence died off somewhere between her heart and her throat.

The kiss lasted barely a ten seconds. To Spencer, it lasted a lifetime. Absentmindedly, her eyes drifted off to her wristwatch. It read 22:57.

The time when all her vital functions ceased – if only momentarily.

 **A/N: Please don't kill me. So, um, thoughts? As always thank you for reading.**

 **P.S.: Doctor Edward's speech to Spencer is actually partially taken from Dr. Thomas, a side character in Grey's Anatomy that I absolutely fell in love with, despite him being on the show for a few espisodes only. I hope Shonda and the other authors, as well as you readers, don't mind the fact that I borrowed his words. Oh, Spencer's case in the chapter and all the medical mumbo-jumbo is also from Grey's Anatomy (though with some alterations). So yeah, that's all...**


	13. Intimacy

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delayed update - yet again. Hopefully I'll make it up to you with a chapter full of fluff. Thank you for reading, following, reviewing. I greatly appreciate it.**

 _A pair of soft lips – the softest and sweetest Spencer has ever tasted in her entire life – pressed against hers and the rest of her sentence died off somewhere between her heart and her throat._

 _The kiss lasted barely a ten seconds. To Spencer, it lasted a lifetime. Absentmindedly, her eyes drifted off to her wristwatch. It read 22:57._

 _The time when all her vital functions ceased – if only momentarily._

…

They broke apart for a moment, both breathing irregularly, to gaze in each other's eyes. Aria raised a hand and cupped Spencer's cheek gently; slowly, she ran her fingers over her face, from her high cheekbone to the jaw and down to the dimple in her chin, completely captivated by the smoothness of her porcelain skin and the strength of her features. Such a natural beauty, with that calm, posed aura surrounding her body, more often than not mistaken for aloofness.

The way she carried herself, confident but never cocky; arrogant but never superb. Elusive at times, especially when her mask slipped and she felt the need to cover up that gut-wrenching vulnerability that would betray her eyes sometimes. Much like a proud little puppy, which when threatened or mistreated would run to hid alone in a corner and lick his wounds, so that no one could see him tremble in fear.

Little by little, Aria was starting to see all of that and more. She was starting to see through her façade and beyond her antics. Actually, if there was something that Aria had learnt from the very beginning, it was that there's so much more about the doctor than what meets the eyes.

Spencer Hastings was, in her modest opinion, a deceptively complex creature; but, somehow, to Aria was given the privilege to crawl inside the depths of her soul and see for herself what really lays beneath the surface. And Aria would not waste such a precious gift; she wanted, more than anything, to get to the very core of Spencer's being and unravel all the mysteries, treasure all her secrets, and free her from all her burdens. Judging by the way Spencer was looking at her right then, she was sure the taller brunette would grant her every wishes.

"You have to stop doing that thing with your eyes, or else I won't be able to restrain myself." Aria advised with a whisper.

"What thing?"

Scoffing lightly, Aria smiled at the chestnut haired woman. "You're intense," she began, hypnotized by dazzling, almond-shaped chocolate eyes and the myriad of emotions she could see reflected in them. "And in your eyes there's this spark, this glow of energy that reels you in. It's intense. It's mesmerizing. And it's very assuring."

"Assuring?" Spencer repeated in a low murmur, cocking her head to the side.

"You make me feel special. Like I am safe with you," the younger woman answered, momentarily looking away. "It's kind of stupid. I know. But the way you look at things, at people, is enamoring." ' _And the way you constantly hide from others' gazes is heartbreaking.'_

There was so much raw emotion in the younger woman's voice that Spencer felt her throat close up and for the shortest moment she felt like crying. Her thoughts whirled in her head. She longed to touch her, to physically show her just how grateful she was for her consideration, the little attentions, for her undeserved kindness. And so she did just that.

She wrapped her arms around her back and buried her face into her hair, her breathing ragged. Spencer's pulse hammered into her chest as she ran her fingers through Aria's hair, again and again, in a tender caress, until she pulled away, just slightly, before leaning in again and capturing the younger woman's lips with her own.

The kiss started out slow and languid, just the soft grasping of lips as bodies moved closer together, adjusting, moving along with and counterpoint to the other until they found that perfect fit where every curve fit seamlessly together. But soon hands began to roam slowly, gliding over fabric in search of that first touch of flushed, heated skin. Low, throaty moans rumbled deep in heaving chests as greedy fingers finally found that skin they so desired and mouths opened to admit tentative, seeking tongues that danced, delved and stroked against each other.

"God, Spence…" Aria gasped as her burning lungs demanded she stop kissing the dashing doctor long enough to actually breathe.

The sound of the petite brunette gasping her name so breathlessly was one of the sweetest sounds Spencer had ever heard and she purred as she began laying a string of soft kisses over Aria's jaw to her ear. She smiled to herself as she caught the back of the brunette's lobe with her tongue and pulled it between her lips to suckle gently.

She never ceased to be lost in wonder of the almost angelic beauty of Aria; her black hair curling down to her shoulders; her pale complexion, and those big hazel eyes that always reminded Spencer of Autumn, of how the leaves change from green to brown to yellow - they mixed together perfectly. One day she would definitely tell her. She would tell Aria what exactly her high cheekbones and full rosy lips did to her. She would tell her everything.

But, there standing before her, was a woman that she had never seen before. Her dark hair was wildly mussed, her milky skin flushed vividly.

Spencer gasped as the feeling of the younger woman's mouth sucking on her earlobe sent a pulse of desire through her and made her knees feel like they were ready to buckle. "Baby, stop."

A bolt of fear shot through Aria at the taller brunette's words and she immediately stopped what she was doing and pulled back quickly, her expression clearly giving away that she was afraid she had done something wrong.

"I'm sorry," Aria whispered, her heart thudding heavily in her chest as she brought a slightly trembling hand to her lips.

Spencer smiled reassuringly and held tight to Aria's hips, refusing to let her escape. "Don't be." she replied softly, a small blush coloring her pale cheeks. "Please, don't ever be sorry for kissing me like _that_." The doctor grinned goofily.

Aria giggled lightly, her own face sporting an interesting shade of red. "I guess we got carried away…"

"Just a tiny bit." Spencer smiled gently. "God, you make my knees weak Aria." She murmured and leaned in to kiss the younger woman chastely on the lips. "And the taste of your lips makes my head spin… which isn't a good thing right now," she finished with a playful smirk. "Can we stay like this for a while? I'm not ready to let you go just yet." She admitted sheepishly.

Aria felt a warm sensation spread throughout her body at the confession and she blushed as she reached out to take Spencer's hand in her own. "Okay." She smiled as the brunette automatically turned their hands so that their fingers could twine together and she could not help but notice once again that their hands, much like their bodies moments before, fit together perfectly.

She used the arm of the couch to help her lower herself to the cushions and, once she was comfortable, she tugged at Aria's hand and pulled her down next to her.

Aria smiled as she laid down next to Spencer, being careful not to jostle the brunette as she settled into the cushions.

"Mmm, this is a very comfortable couch." Spencer sighed contently.

"View's not too bad either." Aria observed as she looked out the large windows in her living room onto the quiet and charming gas-lit and lined tree street below.

"Absolutely breathtaking…" Spencer agreed softly as she ignored the window and let her eyes caress the other woman's features.

The petite brunette nodded in agreement and turned to find Spencer unabashedly staring at her. She felt her cheeks flame as she realized that the view the doctor had been referring to was markedly different from the one she was pointing out.

"Spence…" she murmured. She let her own eyes dance over the brunette's face as she drank in the sight of Spencer Hastings looking at her so openly and intently. By now Aria knew all too well that Spencer was not one to let her walls down quickly or easily but, by god, when she did, it was absolutely mesmerizing.

Spencer licked her lips and smiled as she reached out to slip a hand behind Aria's neck. She purposefully threaded her fingers through the her silky hair, tugging gently at the strands as she pulled her closer. "I want to kiss you," she husked softly before she pushed up enough to claim her lips in a slow, deep, unbelievably sensuous kiss.

Aria whimpered and moved her body closer, welcoming the brunette's caresses and meeting them with her own. When her neck began to hurt from the angle it was twisted to, she shifted to straddle the taller woman's lap. Their lips never breaking contact, she moved closer, tangling her hands in Spencer's hair and deepening their kiss as she settled into place.

The feeling of Aria's body settled atop her own made the surgeon groan, and she instinctively reached out to grasp Aria's hips and pull her in closer. She reclined back into the couch, resting her head on the back pillows as she pulled Aria down on top of her, accepting the younger woman's weight, delighting in the feeling of their bodies pressing against one another.

Every drop of moisture in Aria's body seemed to crash wetly between her legs the moment Spencer's strong, expert hands smoothed their way over her hips and down to cup her butt, as she began grasping, kneading, and massaging her in time with their kisses. It was way too much and still not enough at the same time, and yet she was helpless but to continue tasting Spencer's sweet lips as she continued to rock with the hands on her ass.

Spencer sighed as she felt Aria's hands leave her hair to begin traveling slowly over her body, grasping at her shoulders before sliding down over the plane of her chest to graze the sides of her breasts before slipping under them to cup her firmly.

"Christ!" she gasped as Aria's small but dexterous hands began kneading her gently.

"Mmm," Aria moaned, reveling at the feeling of Spencer in her hands as she worked the firm mounds slowly, rubbing, grasping, massaging, and when she brushed her thumbs over Spencer's nipples she thought she could very well come right there at the guttural sound that rumbled deep in the brunette's throat. She pulled back from the brunette and bit her lip as she watched, absolutely enraptured, the older woman's face contort with pleasure under her ministrations.

Needing Aria closer, Spencer pulled her left hand from the her bottom to reach up and pull the younger woman's mouth back to her own. The moment Aria's lips met hers she deepened the kiss, hungrily thrusting her tongue deep inside her mouth. One kiss became two, became a dozen and eventually she was left feeling very, very aroused and very, very dizzy.

"Are you okay?" Aria murmured as she sat up and looked down at Spencer. She smiled at the sight of the brunette's kiss swollen lips and the flush of arousal that tinted her cheeks, but as she took in the sight of her furrowed brow her smile faded and concern immediately banked the burning need she had, only moments before, been helpless to resist.

"Yeah," Spencer muttered. "I'm fine. Just a little dizzy. Guess tiredness has caught up with me."

"God, Spence. I'm so sorry. I just…" Aria apologized as she pulled further away.

"Believe me, Ar, I'm not complaining." Spencer interrupted with a lopsided grin, reaching up to run a gentle hand over the younger woman's jaw. "But I think it's best if I leave now." She said with a small frown, evidently not at all ready to cut her time with the younger woman short just yet. Although it was getting late.

"Or," Aria interjected with a coy smile, her tone slightly suggestive and playful, "you could lay down and hold me."

"Bossy. I like it." Spencer smirked but complied and Aria immediately slipped off the brunette's lap, the movement making it impossible for her to not realize exactly how aroused she had become.

"Tell me if I hurt you?" She requested, as she moved with Spencer so that they were laying down on the couch, Spencer on the edge holding her as she laid on her side between the brunette and the back cushions.

"You won't." Spencer assured her through a stifled yawn.

Seeing the brunette yawn elicited a sympathetic one of her own, which had her laughing as she laid her head on the plane of Spencer's chest. She sighed as she wrapped her arm around the brunette's waist and snuggled in closer. "Comfy."

"Very." Spencer agreed softy, as she turned her head to press a soft kiss to the smaller woman's forehead, basking in the smell of Aria's fruit scented shampoo until, eventually, sleep claimed her.

Aria stayed there, comfortable and secure in Spencer's strong arms, listening to the brunette's breathing even out until she was certain that the older woman was asleep; it was only then that she allowed herself to fall asleep as well.

The next morning, Spencer awoke to the sweet smell of Aria's shampoo saturating the air in front of her nose and the warm, comforting weight of the younger woman draped over her body. She smiled to herself as she pulled the still slumbering girl in closer, reveling in the feeling of Aria wrapped in her arms as she buried her face in dark strands of silk and pressed a soft, adoring kiss to the top of her head.

Being with the bubbly aspirant novelist like this was how she had dreamed it would be and, at the same time, so much more. It simply felt right. Much like the sweet taste of Aria's lips and the way her lithe body molded to her own, the entirety of their interactions the last night had been better than her wildest dreams. If it weren't for the fact that her heart's desire was currently sleeping upon her chest, she would be apt to believe she was still trapped in the middle of yet another dream.

She drew random patterns on Aria's back as she held her close, enjoying the simple intimacy of the moment. She was unsurprised to realize that she was more content than she could ever remember being, and she knew that it was all because Aria was strong and stubborn enough to take her hand and show her the way out from behind her walls and compartments. To guide her towards something potentially meaningful, something beautiful.

Aria was certainly an interesting creature, Spencer mused. A caring, loving and genuine soul, yes, but also a force to be reckoned with. Behind that tiny frame and cheerful attitude of hers was an inner strength, a determination and a burning passion, among other qualities, that actually matched and even rivaled Spencer's own attributes. Oh, how deceptive of her, Spencer thought as she lightly stroked her hair while gazing at the younger woman appreciatively and with newfound admiration.

The heavenly feeling of the brunette's fingers caressing up and down her scalp and nape eased Aria awake, and she purred contentedly as she burrowed herself into the taller woman's side.

"Mmm."

Spencer smiled and watched as she stretched languidly within her arms. "Nice nap?"

"Very," Aria hummed happily as she tilted her head up to press a soft kiss to the underside of the brunette's jaw. "How about you?"

"Best. Nap. Ever." Spencer murmured as she dropped a slow, lingering kiss to Aria's cutely furrowed brow.

She laughed lightly. "Nice dreams?"

"Don't remember," the doctor confessed. "But you were here when I woke up, so that makes it the best nap ever."

Aria smiled widely as she lifted her head to claim Spencer's lips with her own. The kiss was slow and gentle, just the purest expression of affection, and it spoke volumes more than the words either of them felt comfortable sharing at this point. She moaned softly as the brunette's hands, which had been tracing light patterns over her shirt, slipped under the hem to press against the small of her back, pulling her in closer as the kiss grew deeper and more demanding. Her free hand began to roam aimlessly, sliding over the defined ridges of the older woman's abs and up over the delicate swell of her breast, drawing a low, guttural groan from the brunette, before she cradled the side of her face tenderly in her palm as she purposefully slowed their kisses until they were nothing more than a series of light, quick pecks.

"How are you feeling?" Aria asked softly between kisses.

"Fine," Spencer assured her. "Definitely better than before."

Aria looked like she wanted to say something when she was interrupted by a rather loud growl from the woman below. "How's your stomach?" She asked instead with a cheeky grin.

"Angry, by the sounds of it." Spencer frowned. She smiled apologetically at her as she ran a gentle hand over her jaw. "I'm sorry, Aria."

"For what?"

"Yesterday." Spencer murmured quietly, making a vague gesture with her hand. "And for, you know, ruining the mood. Low-blood sugar."

Aria smiled. "Spence, it's okay. You had an emergency, I get it. Just, next time maybe remember to give me a call?"

Spencer nodded demurely.

"And for the record," Aria continued, "I'm hoping that we'll have many more moments like this one in the future. Your stomach growling hasn't ruined anything. C'mon now," she extricated herself from the taller woman's embrace and stood up, extending her arm towards Spencer; "Let's go feed the beast. Something tells me I don't want to deal with a low-blood sugar Spencer."

Spencer chuckled and took her hand, letting herself be guided towards the kitchen. She took a seat on the stool by the counter while she observed keenly the dark haired woman checking her fridge and waiting for inspiration to strike.

"What would you like to eat?"

Spencer arched an eyebrow, her eyes still roaming hungrily over her body, and much to her chagrin a little noise escaped the back of her throat. ' _You,'_ was her first thought, and she smirked as she went instead with a much more appropriate reply. "I dunno. I'm not picky, really. Whatever you're in the mood for is fine with me."

' _What I'm in the mood for, uh? Definitely you. With a side of you for dessert…'_ Aria thought wryly and frowned.

Bloody hormones. What was wrong with her lately? She was still in her first trimester, for crying out loud. Weren't her cravings supposed to be limited to food only at this stage?

She turned around and asked with almost forced cheerfulness, "Pancakes?"

"Uh-uh. Yeah, sure." Spencer scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, totally unaware of the raging battle going on inside the younger woman's head. "Sounds good."

"Alright. I'm on it." Aria smiled and started collecting pans, bowls and ingredients, all the while Spencer watched her amused. She could definitely get used to that.

"Hey, um… I know that I've probably outstayed my welcome but can I use your shower? I'm starting to feel gross."

Aria turned around with a mildly disbelieving expression on her face. "Who said you've outstayed your welcome? If I didn't want you here, I wouldn't have let you sleep. Go and shower, there should be a clean towel in the bathroom."

"You sure you don't mind?" Spencer asked in an uncharacteristically small voice.

"Of course not, dummy." Aria shook her head and smiled warmly at her. Spencer smiled back and stood up from her stool and approached the smaller woman at the stove. She encircled her waist from behind and bent down her head a little, nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

"Thanks." She husked, and Aria's breath caught when she felt a pair of lips pressing softly against her pulse point. Her eyelids slid close upon instinct, her body shivering both in appreciation and anticipation. She dropped her head back and Spencer, taking the hint, continued to leave butterfly kisses all along the pale column of her throat, slowly moving farther south, stopping at her collarbone.

And then, she was gone.

Aria opened her eyes just in time to catch a glimpse of long, slender legs and sashaying hips leave the kitchen and move towards the hallway.

' _Such a tease.'_ She groaned to herself as she returned to her original task of make breakfast. And while she stood there, filling a kettle before putting it on – knowing that Spencer would greatly appreciate a nice, hot cup of coffee along with her pancakes – she couldn't help the tiny, mirthful smile that tugged at her lips.

She _so_ could get used to this.


	14. Good time for a change

**A/N: Hey there! First things first, I apologize for this long-overdue update. Some things happened in the last months and unfortunately they kept me from devoting any real time to my fics as well as my other hobbies and activities, but that is another story. The point is, I am both sorry for my absence and happy to be back. I missed writing, and I especially missed writing about those two adorable dorks.**

 **Also, I would like to express my sincere gratitude to those of you who has been constantly showing your appreciation for this story and your support and had taken the time to share thoughts, feelings and opinions with me, be it in your reviews or through PM. It really, really meant a lot to me, especially when expressed from fellow and esteemed authors!**

 **That being said, I wish you all a great summer. And please, for those of you who can, enjoy it for me too (a poor college student who will only see the beach from the faculty room's windows)!**

 **Alright, enough with the whining already and on with the story! Here's a long chapter to make it up for the wait. Thank you for reading!**

 **P.S.: The title of this chapter (and the chapter itself) was inspired by the Smith's song 'Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want'. Figured it was as good an occasion as any for you readers to hear the song again (or to check it out if you didn't know it yet, but let's be honest, who doesn't know The Smiths, right? I mean, c'mon...)**

…

Aria let out a small, contented sigh as she awoke late that morning. The mid-morning sun was pouring through the large windows that lined the far end of Spencer's bedroom, and she smiled as she felt the brunette's arm tighten around her waist to keep her from moving away.

As if she would ever want to.

She turned her body into the taller woman's embrace and rested her head onto the chest that had served as her pillow the night before. She brushed her lips back and forth over the silky-soft skin of her collarbone, a delighted smile tweaking her lips as Spencer murmured incoherently beneath her. Amongst the many things she's learnt about the older woman since they began to see each other on a regular basis, one that would never cease to both surprise and amuse her was that Spencer Hastings was not a morning person. At all.

That, and… she was a rather violent sleeper.

She wasn't aware of this fact but in reality she had been pushed off several times by the brunette during the night. But true to her persevering form – even when unconscious - Aria climbed back on top of the woman four times out of the five that she had been pushed off. The fifth time, well, the still soundly sleeping Spencer pulled the girl over and held her close to her chest while dropping a sleepy kiss to the top of her head.

Now Aria smiled contently as she nuzzled happily into the taller woman's neck. Her smile however soon turned devious as her thoughts shifted from tender and adoring to playful and mischievous in an instant. It was just too tempting an opportunity to pass up.

She placed her lips against the inviting skin of Spencer's neck softly, sucking and nibbling lightly before running the tip of her tongue over the bruised surface to soothe any pain. Spencer moaned softly at the sensation, prompting Aria to turn her head to see if the brunette had awoken or not; she was pleased to see that the doctor was still fast asleep. She smirked as she ventured down to capture a covered nipple between her lips, this time biting on it with a little more force, delighting in the soft sighs that fell from the slumbering woman's lips as she played with her breast. She was about to slip a hand beneath her tank top when Spencer began to stir.

The chestnut-haired woman felt a slight weight on top of her and craned her neck to see what it was. Realizing that it was a very familiar vixen and that the girl was very much attached to her, Spencer's cheeks reddened.

"Good morning sleepyhead," sighed Aria, her eyes closed as she returned her head on its previous position onto the woman's chest.

"How'd you know… me…" Yawn. "… awake?" Asked a sleepy, raspy voice.

Aria giggled. Could exist something or someone more adorable? Hardly, she decided. "I didn't, until I saw your blush."

"Mmm." The brunette nodded absentmindedly as she stretched her arms. She reached up with her left hand to run her fingers through dark, silky locks. "Well, please, don't let that fact stop you from doing whatever it was you were doing."

The younger woman let herself relish the blissful feeling of the brunette's fingers combing through her hair, and smiled leisurely. She looked up and leaned in to place a quick kiss and a teasing lick to the underside of her jaw. "You like this, uh?"

Spencer grinned. "Who wouldn't? It's a great way to wake up," she answered as she moved her fingers from her scalp down to caress her back.

"Well, I'm always happy to be of help," Aria quipped before capturing her lips in a long, loving kiss.

The sound of a cell phone ringing out in the room interrupted whatever Spencer was going to say, or do, next.

"Is that the song from Star Wars?" Aria laughed as she regretfully pulled back.

Spencer heaved a deep sigh and nodded demurely. "Indeed. The Imperial March, to be exact."

The petite brunette pursed her lips thoughtfully as she listened to the tinny music pouring from the speaker of Spencer's IPhone. "That's the bad guy song. Darth, mmm... What was it again?"

"Darth Vader." The doctor rolled her eyes. "And yes, I guess you could call it that."

Aria grinned wickedly. "And whose ringtone is it?"

Spencer groaned and dropped her head onto her pillow, both of her hands coming up to cover her face. "Melissa's," She replied with a muffled but still clearly exasperated voice.

"Oh." Aria winced sympathetically. "I mean, it _does_ suit her – at least, from what you've told me, I think so. That kinda killed the mood…" she grumbled.

"Yeah, she's rather good at that…" Spencer agreed with a snort as her cell phone stopped ringing. Only to be promptly followed by the ringing of the handheld unit on the brunette's bedside table.

Aria arched an eyebrow. "Seems pretty urgent. Perhaps you should get that? You know, before she decides to send over her goons." She said while running her hands over the brunette's back, her tone exceedingly amused. And annoyingly so.

"Nope." Spencer shook her head vehemently, slightly shuddering while trying to get rid of the somewhat disturbing image of her half-sister dressed like a cosplayer and leading her very own army of Stormtroopers over to her house.

"Whatever this is about, she can leave a message," she replied instead as she tipped her chin up to claim the younger woman's lips in a slow, deep and lingering kiss that she hoped would help them recapture their earlier mood.

Aria responded to the brunette's kiss eagerly, tangling her fingers in her hair and drawing her in closer as she arched into her lover's hand. They were well on their way to achieving Spencer's ultimate goal when the haughty voice of Melissa Hastings cackled through the house.

Now, that definitely and irremediably killed the mood.

" _Spencer, this is your sister."_

"Heh, no shit!" The brunette muttered as she closed her eyes, trying to drown out her sister's voice as she dipped her head down to suck against Aria's pulse point.

" _I spoke with Father and Mother this morning. They informed me of this charity event they will hold next month and requested for the both of us to attend the soiree. They also would like you to come to the house tonight for dinner."_

"Sorry folks, **"** Spencer replied, as if Melissa or even her parents could actually hear her. "Can't make it. Too busy here."

" _Before you start complaining and making up excuses, no need to dress up for it; we'll keep things casual. They'd just like to see you before they leave for their cruise."_

Aria laughed, the happy sound morphing into a growl as Spencer nipped at her collarbone. "Seems like someone has no choice here. Ready to join the dark side, babe?"

" _Well, I'll see you later then,"_ the lawyer announced flatly before there was the loud hum of the dial tone and then the machine grew silent.

Spencer growled against the younger woman's neck and pressed a lazy kiss to the hollow of the her throat. "Go on, keep laughing at my expenses. See if I'll bother providing you with caffeine when we get out of here." She murmured between kisses.

Aria's grin only widened at the empty threat. "Oh but that is totally fine with me. You're the only one who can actually drink that awful concoction you insist on calling coffee anyway."

Spencer gasped indignantly. "You clearly didn't mean it."

Aria smirked. "Sorry sweetie, truth can be harsh sometimes." She shrugged, and started laughing maniacally when Spencer suddenly tackled her, pinning her down to the mattress.

"Take it back. **"** The brunette said sternly as she straddled her waist and held onto her wrists tightly but not painfully so; careful as not to hurt her in any way.

"Nuh-uh." Aria replied childishly with a shake of her head, still giggling madly.

"Take it back. Now." Spencer commanded playfully from her hovering position.

"Never." She insisted stubbornly, a devilish look on her face as she started wriggling slightly just to see how likely it would be for her to be able to manoeuvre her way out of the grasp.

"Last warning, midget." The doctor spluttered out, running her hands up the girl's sides, knowing how much she hated to be tickled. That made the smile vanish from Aria's face.

"You wouldn't dare," She said while squirming slightly under the touch, perfectly aware that Spencer oh-so-defiantly would.

"You brought it upon yourself. Remember those words Aria."

"AAH! Spence!" Aria's surprised squeal quickly turned into gales of giggles as the brunette began to tickle her, causing her to collapse against the bed while relentless fingers found all her most sensitive places. It was music to Spencer's ears, as she listened to the wild free laughter that flowed forth from Aria. Interspersed with gasps of her name, but the girl wasn't begging for her to stop yet. Spencer grinned, as she tried to avoid Aria's hands that were desperately trying to hold her at bay.

Aria squirmed, trying to push the taller woman away, as she shook with uncontrollable laughter. Forcing her eyes open to try and see what was going on to better stop it, she looked into mischievous chocolate eyes, and despite being caught in a merciless tickle attack, she still felt a surge of warmth and affection for the extremely goofy surgeon.

Gasping for breath, she tried to see where Spencer planned to aim next. Detecting a slight loosening of her hold when the brunette tried to reach her side better, Aria ducked and managed to escape. Not that she got far.

"Spence! Ha ha ha, n-no, ha ha ha, not there! Please!" Aria cracked, and began to beg. "N-not the… ha ha ha… not the belly! Ha ha ha, you're so mean!"

An evil smile had found its way onto the doctor's face, as she crept a hand up and poked at the spot Aria was trying to hide away. A burst of laughter erupted from the woman in her arms, as she tried to jerk away, still laughing and batting at Spencer's hands.

She didn't relent though, and continued to poke and tickle the petite woman's sides, her neck, everywhere. But when Aria let out a ragged gasp, she paused for a moment, worried that something was wrong, that she might've gone too far. And before she realized what was going on, she was desperately trying to fend off a tickle attack of her own.

"Whoa!" The expression of surprise fell from Spencer's lips, before she started to gasp with laughter, as Aria somehow found the strength to fight back.

Sounds of laughter echoed throughout the house, as the tickle fight continued. At last, they collapsed together onto the bed once more, tired out but still chuckling.

Spencer blew a stray hair out of her face, only for it to flop back down over her eyes. A warm sound, somewhere between a chuckle and a sigh, came from above her, and she looked up to meet gleeful hazel eyes. A hand reached up to brush the errant hair out of the dark haired woman's face, coming around to rest on her cheek. Aria turned her head and pressed her lips into the soft skin of the doctor's palm, before bending down to kiss her chastely on the lips. Their foreheads resting together, pressed against one another, Spencer gave her own happy sigh while closing her eyes contentedly.

"I love the sound of your laugh."

The quiet statement, so matter-of-factly murmured, made Aria beam. She could still feel the flush on her cheeks from their wild game moments ago. Leaning down once again, she brushed her lips against Spencer's, feeling the smile that emerged there.

Spencer buried her face in the crook of Aria's neck and frowned pensively, the merriment of their little moment vanishing as she thought back to her sister's phone call. She had been looking forward to spent some time alone with the beautiful woman in her arms. Alone, being the key word. But, her parents were leaving for their vacation next week, and she had to admit that she should probably go and pay them a visit before then.

"What are you thinking about?" Aria asked softly, sensing the sudden shift in her lover's mood.

"Will you go with me? Tonight, I mean."

Aria's eyes widened with surprise. "You want me to meet your family?"

"I know I made them sound rather… scary," Spencer chuckled at the obvious apprehensiveness in the younger woman's voice. "But actually they're not _that_ bad. Although I understand if you're not comfortable with the idea…" she replied just as softly as she looked up to let her eyes show Aria that she meant it. "It's just… I had been hoping to spend my entire time off with you this week…"

Aria pressed a finger to her lips, effectively silencing her. "Me too." She immediately reassured her. "And it's not that I'm uncomfortable with the idea of meeting your parents. I wouldn't mind meeting them, eventually. But right now… it just seems too soon, don't you think?"

"Yeah…" Spencer conceded. Aria made it a very valid point after all. "You're right. Sorry."

"Hey," The younger woman cooed, stroking her cheek tenderly. "Look at me. There's no need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong." She punctuated the statement with a long, loving kiss.

"You go have dinner with your family tonight. Fake a smile if you have to, make polite conversation. Stock up on the caviar and champagne or whatever ridiculously expensive food you rich folks enjoy stuffing yourself with; then say goodbye and rush back to my place. Does that sound viable to you?"

"I guess I can do that." Spencer sighed dramatically, then leaned in to kiss Aria hungrily. "Seriously shorty, you blow me away sometimes…" she muttered between kisses.

…

The shimmering night lights illuminated the small town of Weston and triggered a familiar reaction in the driver. She could still remember vividly feeling reluctant about following her father and new family as they moved from a rather big city like Philadelphia to this godforsaken place in the countryside; only to fall in love with the small but vibrant town and its quiet atmosphere upon setting foot there for the first time. She had spent the last part of her childhood and all her teenage years there, and she harboured those bittersweet memories.

Spencer braked outside the ornate gates and turned off the engine. She gazed at her reflection in the rearview mirror and reapplied her lipstick. _Jungle Red_ , Alison's personal favorite shade – also, the blonde's courtesy that time, years ago, when her father surreptitiously set her up on a date with one of his business associate's son. Just another fiasco to add on the list.

A dry chuckle escaped her throat as she looked up and her eyes took into little, barely noticeable wrinkles on her forehead – most certainly due to the ever-present frown etched onto her otherwise immaculate face. Now, it was exactly at times like this that she missed her bangs – they surely came in handy when in need to cover up those little _imperfections,_ as her mother once pointed out. But then she remembered why she had gotten rid of them in the first place: they were just the result of Wren's incessant beseeching when they were still together and her own – deplorable – desire to indulge his every whims. The worst of all was, she couldn't even blame it on the naïveté of a young woman in love for the first time. Not really.

Thank God she got to learn from past mistakes.

She glanced towards the large mansion. The facing-bricked structure stood proudly in the impressive grounds of the vast property. Spencer started the engine and her black Porsche Cayenne Turbo rolled forward, while the security cameras trained on the license plate. The gates of the Hastings' elegant Georgian manor opened and Spencer followed the long, paved driveway; the colorful flowerbed and the manicured lawns almost invisible in the gloom.

Three other cars occupied the ample parking ground outside the mansion, and Spencer manouvred the vehicle towards them. As she stepped out of her car, the chilly air of the November night prompted her to put on her leather jacket, even if only for the short while it took to reach the front porch.

She left two knocks on the tall and solid door before opening it and walking inside. She could hear the child's giggles coming from down the hall and she smiled widely as she made her way towards the beautiful noise.

"You know, it's no use having security cameras and a bloodthirsty Rottweiler outside if you leave your front door unlocked," Spencer said with a smirk as she stared at the man and little boy in front of her.

"Auntie!" Taylor yelled as he leapt from his father's arms and ran into his favorite person's awaiting arms.

"Hey buddy," she smiled, ruffling his perfectly combed brownish hair.

"Pick me up!" the three-year-old squealed, jumping up and down, arms outstretched.

"Now don't start pester your aunt so soon, little man. She's just arrived." Wren chuckled in his British accent, thick as ever, even after all those years living on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. He grabbed his son around the waist and pulled him towards him. Spencer took a step further into the room before sitting among all the toys on the floor. "It's good to see you Spencer."

"Yeah, I bet." The brunette sighed as Taylor squirmed out of his father's hold and crawled into her lap, careful not to jostle her too much. Spencer could see the hurt etched across the other doctor's face as soon as the toddler fled out of his grasp. Unfortunately, his job – _their_ job – more often than not didn't allow him to devote much time to his family, and of course this was greatly affecting his relationship, or lack of thereof, with his very own child.

In spite of the old grudges, Spencer couldn't help but feel a surge of sympathy for him; for the boy she once knew, the boy that had meant the world to her.

"He'll get it one day," she murmured quietly, looking over at her sullen ex.

"You know, it's funny…" Wren began, his eyes suddenly showing a vulnerability she wasn't used anymore to see. "Everything about him reminds me of you," he whispered. "The way he looks, the way he smells, the way he laughs, even the way he has to do something over and over again until it works. He's strong willed, curious and stubborn, just like you."

"Wren, I…" Spencer paused, not really knowing what to say. What could she possibly say to the man who broke her trusting heart so easily, so unhesitatingly? She'd already done everything, gone out of her way, to keep as much a civilized relationship as possible with her sister's husband and father of her niece; all for the sake of her dignified family. After all, what a scandal it would have been at the time, had their socialite friends found out that the eldest of the Hastings' sisters - a well-respected young woman who just so conveniently happened to be appointed to her father's seat in the Hospital board - seduced her little sister's boyfriend – a neurosurgeon, more ambitious than talented, at the beginning of his career – and ended up getting pregnant soon after starting their affair.

"I know." Wren suddenly said, glancing over at his son; his and Melissa's son, who coincidentally resembled Spencer, the only woman he had ever truly loved, in so many ways. The oblivious toddler was still happily playing with his multitude of trucks and Hot Wheels cars on the floor. "In some twisted way, I think of him as a part of you. Especially when I'm on the receiving end of his glares – another thing you two have in common." He chuckled ruefully. "No matter what happens, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you," he said as he stood up and then bent down slightly to place a light kiss on Spencer's cheek. "We should head to the dining room, dinner's about to be served."

He stopped once again before walking out of the parlor. "Don't make the same mistake, Spence. When you find the one person that you can't live without, the one that you love as much as they love you, don't ever let them go. You deserve to be happy."

A single tear slid down the woman's face as she watched the miserable man walk away.

…

It was already late in the night when Spencer parked outside of Aria's house, only to find the brunette sitting on the porch swing, two beers in hand. "You know, for someone who owns a Porsche, you sure do drive slowly," the younger woman laughed as she stood up and walked to the porch steps. "Want one?"

Spencer eyed the bottles with a deep frown. "You're not supposed to be drinking in your condition."

"I'm not." Aria defended, a perfectly manicured brow arched in challenge. "Mine's alcohol-free. See?"

The doctor embarrassedly nodded and, without a word, took the offered drink in her hand. She leaned against the porch railing and took a long sip. "I definitely think that's new," she said after a while, motioning with her head to the porch swing.

"Then that just shows how long it's been since you've been here." Aria looked sideways at her lover, showing off one of her signature smiles and adding a quick wink. For some reason she felt more confident and in control here at her home. "I had it put up not too long ago, after my first sonogram." Aria explained. "My father assembled one back then, when I was still a kid. I remember we used to sit out as a family and gaze at the stars. However, my brother Mike has never been much for sitting still and preferred rolling around in the grass singing 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' rather than relaxing there with us. I guess that's what I want for this little one, too…" She added, her hand caressing the scarcely noticeable baby bump.

"It certainly adds to the white-picket-fence deal you have going…" Spencer considered aloud, taking in her surroundings for the first time with real attention: Aria's slate blue house with the signature red door, the stone walkway leading up to the steps, the mulch and flowers trailing along the wrap-around porch... It all screamed 'suburbia' and the only things missing were the 2.5 kids, and the doting husband. Then, on the other hand, there she was: a compartmentalizing woman with some serious and unresolved affective disorders who lived in a high-rise condo in Beacon Hills and who only had pictures by famous artists hanging on the otherwise bare walls. She watched as the younger woman took the final drag from her root beer before carefully lifting herself up to sit on the porch railing.

The dark haired woman's hair floated freely, carried by the chilly breeze of the night, and the delicious scent of Aria, a perfect mixture of fruity and floral, tickled Spencer's nose. She wanted this life with her, but was she cut for it? There were so many complications and obstacles: her demanding job and its long hours, her wearisome family, a baby on the way… To be honest, she was fucking terrified. She'd spent her entire life running from this, running from feelings, and all that running had led her here; right into the arms of the beautiful Aria Marie Montgomery.

Time seemed to stand quite still when, less than an hour later, the pair found themselves sitting down on the porch's wooden floor. A blanket was draped over the both of them as they sat opposite each other, their feet resting gently in the middle. Almost a month into their 'relationship' and there were still little traces of hesitance in their words and gestures, neither of them being really sure what direction this tentative dance around boundaries was leading them to.

The silence was not uncomfortable, but it had been stretching for far too long for Aria's liking and the petite brunette wanted so badly to break it; but for once, the aspirant writer was at a loss for words. Instead, she rotated her body so that she was settled between the brunette's legs, her back pressing into Spencer's chest. She relaxed all her weight into her as the older woman coiled a few strands of dark hair between her fingers.

"What is this, Ar?" The taller woman asked as she looped her arms around Aria's tiny frame.

"What is what?"

"This. Us."

"This," Aria replied as she laced Spencer's long, slender fingers in her own, "is perfect." She placed a soft kiss on the back of the brunette's hand before studying their entwined fingers closely. "I think that your hand was made to fit exactly with mine. See, look!" The younger one giggled as she held their hands up for the doctor to see.

"Anybody's hand can fit with anyone else's."

"Ugh, Spence!" Aria groaned. The older woman could be so damn exasperating at times. "Quit being so logical all the time. Stop thinking with your head."

"What am I supposed to think with?" Spencer questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Your heart," Aria said before turning slightly to place her ear where she knew the surgeon's heart would be.

"What if I don't know how?" She whispered into the smaller woman's silky hair.

Aria smiled softly into Spencer's chest as she whispered back, "Then I'll just have to teach you."

For the second time that night, Spencer didn't know how to respond, though this time she decided to go through with the thoughts that had been formulating in her mind. Taking a deep breath, she grasped gently Aria's chin in her hand, her other hand laced through the girl's soft hair, and pulled her in for a slow, deep kiss. This one wasn't like the others they used to share. It wasn't hurried or animalistic. Instead, it was filled with hope and sorrow, passion and yearning. It was everything Spencer had ever wanted a kiss to be and she wished that it would never end.

Aria was the first to pull away and the dark-haired doctor groaned at the loss of contact, eliciting the younger woman's giggles. Spencer gazed at her fondly, warm chocolate orbs full of adoration.

"Go away with me," she husked.

"What? Where? When?" Pointless words tumbled out of a startled Aria's mouth as her lust-filled hazel eyes stared up at the chestnut haired woman.

Spencer let out a light-hearted chuckle. "Go away with me," she repeated. "This weekend. Tomorrow. There're so many places I want to take you to… So many things I want to show you... So, what do you say? Will you come with me?"

All it took was a brief glance into hopeful brown eyes, wide as saucers, for Aria's barely there resolve to inevitably crumble. "Of course I'll come with you, Spence." She replied without a hint of hesitation, beaming like only a woman falling in love could. "I'd go anywhere with you."


End file.
